JAMUS

Boo, you whore

[pankhearst]

the muppets, 1x01: “Pig Girls Don’t Cry.”

[graphitetroll]

Why did they make me watch Fozzy Bear experience a micro aggression

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

i’m sorry but this is the funniest fucking thing i’ve seen all week

[surprisebitch]

So my friend has recently starting fucking this guy who she’s told me has a monstrous cock but won’t tell me who or show me pic, so she left her phone unlocked on the sofa while going to the bathroom and being curious I looked through her pics. She had dozens of this mouthwatering gigantic cock, a pic of him measuring and coming out at just short of 11 inches and thicker than a cock can, then I saw he’d sent a full body pic including face and to my horror saw it’s my younger brother. Kill me

[miss-jayjayy]

Yall gone learn not to snoop 😂

[mens-rights-activia]

I like how even after knowing it’s your younger brother you still describe it as “mouthwatering”

[miserysco-deactivated20220203]

Having a stroke, brb.

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Tumblr staff @ my blog on December 17th:

[bendelacremme]

Maya Angelou’s soliloquy from Snatch Game.

[cvntyeonjun]

when ur hanging out in ur apartment u’ve got some candles lit ur feeling good u’ve had 8 glasses of wine then down in the street u hear two beautiful boys skateboarding or doing flips or something so u invite them up and they say where’s the bed and they ask if they can sit on the bed and u tell them sure but the sheets are expensive japanese linen and they tell u they’re not even soft:

[teamrocketing]

and they were valid

[hijerking]

oh my god they were valid

[proudtoehaver]

“I was on a strict diet during Episode VIII, and she was like, ‘Kid, get into that fridge and take some chocolate bars. I have many there.’ And I did,” he recalls. “I failed my diet because Carrie Fisher told me to. And it [felt] great.”

-John Boyega on Carrie Fisher

[fuocogo]

This is the Carrie Fisher post of body positivity reblog for a chocolate bar from her fridge

[hungwy]

Wish there were sweaters but like,for feet

[tamamita]

socks

[hungwy]

make your own post

[tamamita]

socks

[xojoanne]

November 11: Lady Gaga performing ‘The Cure’ at the Joanne World Tour in Uncasville, CT

[femboycloudstrife]

i’m literally the girl screaming yas like it’s her dying breath

[mrclussy]

In case u didn’t see these gems on buzzfeed

[jaidefinichonv2]

[vibraniumacrylicpowder]

He just… accepted it. I’m cracking up.

[homotology]

He fucking levitated

[trust-me-im-vet-tech]

Hahahaha

[meekaleeks]

just a reminder that they were roommates

[kuroii98]

[interstellar-space-cadet]

I’m every one in this

[closecaptionvevo]

MAN 1 (in a high pitched, whiny voice) Look what you’ve done to my peonies!

WOMAN (angrily) They’re marigolds!

MAN 2 God! I think she’s right! They are marigolds!

MAN 1 I may not know my flowers, but I know a (yells in her direction) bitch when I see one!

[cascancook]

Favorite Post. Right . HERE. 

[loverofpiggies]

This is probably one of my favorite posts online, no joke

[nineprotons]

“Got the morbs” should be a thing.

[breelandwalker]

Victorian slang is AMAZING, and select phrases really need to make a comeback.

“Bitch the pot” - Pour the tea (HOW RELEVANT IS THIS!?)

“Bang up the elephant” - Absolutely perfect; super stylish

“Well, that’s shot the bale” - Something that has missed the mark entirely

“Church-bell” - A woman prone to gossip

“Chuckaboo” - A dear friend, a bosom chum

“Beer and skittles” - A great time (see also: Irish Gaelic “craic”)

“Butter on bacon” - Something overdone or too extravagant

“Cupid’s kettle drums” - Breasts, particularly large ones

“Gigglemug” - A cheerful smiling face

[thecuriousviolet-deactivated201]

All of these??? Make me smile??? They’re so weird and wonderful I love them??? Especially bitch the pot because that’s something I could totally hear myself saying…that and chuckaboo

[thebibliosphere]

I worked in a Victorian tea house in my youth and I’m telling you, you haven’t lived till you hear a the 98 year old lady (this was some 15 years ago) utter the words “bitch the pot” because it was what they used to say when the tea house first opened and it just sort of stuck through all the generations.

[kvrs-deactivated20220420]

do not fix your dark circles let the world know youre tired of its shit and ready to kill a man

[lord-tengen]

you’re* it’s* Btw. I am a man.

[kvrs-deactivated20220420]

oooooooooooooh my gooooooooooooooooooooooood ooooooooh my god. oh my god. ooooooooooh. my god oh my god