Carpe Cibum

20. He/him The text book definition of procrastination. Wannabe paleontologist

[sabertoothwalrus]

girl are you the first preserved dinosaur butthole cause you are “perfect” and “unique”

[sabertoothwalrus]

[sabertoothwalrus]

outfits to wear on a first date

[kedreeva]

you take that BACK

[rob-boss]

[catchymemes]

[sexualremarks]

“baking sheet?” holds so much weight

[funni-bunni]

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

if you’re not vaccinated i will NOT look at your pussy

[buzzlightyearhugecock]

[snowylynxx]

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

[gotitforcheap-deactivated201611]

update:

[shithotawkward]

Where’s the uncensored version?

[chewedcorn]

Map of the US by a truck driver who has seen most of it…

[54viruses]

This is DEFINITELY someone I call an expert.

[thenatsdorf]

[luxlightly]

Listen, yes of course Eddie Brock is an exceptional example of an alien fucker but I need everyone to understand that the symbiote is canonically from a planet where not only does everything reproduce asexually but the even idea of wanting any kind of relationship with a host was considered so insane and devious that the Venom symbiote was sentenced to death for it. And consider how weird a human must be to them. Humans are as much aliens to symbiotes as symbiotes are to humans.

What I’m saying is in terms of being an alien fucker, NOBODY beats the Venom Symbiote.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

tired: eddie brock is a monsterfucker

wired: venom is a monsterfucker

[animalcrossingmemes]

[manjoum]

I’M LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW JUST

SHE DON’T WANT NO CHECKERS TONIGHT

[luisonte]

El Roomba lowcost

[trash-qween]

Screaming

[teathattast]

[flyfella]

“Medusa: 👁 👅 👁 “ is the funniest thing in the world to me omg

[thecatsmustbecrazy]

[annabellehectorworldofweird]

[prguitarman]

Modern day Moses

[crrocs]

people who complain about “getting too many asks”

[yaboidom]

people who get straight A’s and every test they say “im so gonna fail”

[skr0ala]

People who say their art sucks when its clearly amazing

[milkbread]

Having a student who just can’t pass his fucking driver’s test

[omghotmemes]

Stick Fight