🐝

Catholic. Side B bisexual. Writer and fangirl. she/her

[side-b-bumblebi]

Hi all!! I'm new here, so I'll try to make an intro post.

I'm a Catholic convert and I've been questioning my sexuality on and off for at least three or four years. I tried to just not question and to be straight and if I'm honest, it's still hard for me to admit to even myself that I'm not straight, but I also think that when I've felt the way I have about girls and when I've been questioning for years, there's probably a reason for that!

I do have a bit of imposter syndrome when it comes to it still and I don't know how long it'll take me to get over that or if I ever will. I keep feeling like it's all just a "phase" because there have been periods where I didn't think about my sexuality as much, even though that's pretty normal for me to do with anything. If I think less about being Italian-American one day than another, I'm not less Italian-American that day. I keep searching for evidence that I'm making this all up for attention, such as the fact that I've had more crushes on guys than girls, which isn't really how anything works, but brains just hate us amirite?

(I mean, if I AM making this up for attention, I'm doing a pretty crappy job considering in three or four years of questioning the only person I've told is my mom.)

I feel like a bad person because of this chance that I might be straight, but I'm trying to be kinder to myself about this. Even if I WAS straight, I wouldn't be a bad person for being wrong. I guess I have a hard time grappling with the idea that I'm the only one who gets to say if I'm bisexual or not — I've always struggled with a huge need for external validation on things that I really need to decide for myself and I'm still working on that.

I'm Side B, which means that I only date guys, as I do want to marry in a Catholic ceremony. I think the first crush I ever had on a girl was Katie McGrath, who plays Morgana Pendragon on Merlin and Lena Luther on Supergirl. It took me years to register this as a crush lol. It didn't occur to me that that very particular feeling I got when she was on the screen was the same feeling I got when I watched Tom Hiddleston in Thor or The Hollow Crown.

I guess one of the biggest struggles is the loneliness. I've had some pretty negative conversations with other Christians on LGBT topics and I'm scared to open up to other Christians now. I'm scared that they'll see me differently, that they'll automatically assume that me being nice is some sign of a crush, that they'll deem my very existence sinful.

On the other hand, I'm also scared to tell my LGBT friends. The idea that they might pity me and think I'm brainwashed or — worse still — that they might get the idea that I don't love or accept them is too much for me. The idea of hurting someone I love like that just doesn't feel worth it.

(Side note: To any LGBT people who may be reading this who aren't Side B — please don't think that this means I will judge you or hate you! I will always advocate for LGBT people to have equal rights and be treated with respect and dignity. You are SO loved and I hope you are having a lovely day!)

So yeah, I suppose this is the first time I'm being open about this to anyone who isn't my mom? It feels weird being vulnerable in this way with people on the internet when I don't feel comfortable telling people I know well, but that's just the crazy world we're living in! It also feels scary and I keep having that voice in my head telling me that I'm just doing this for attention and that I'm just a straight girl who wants to be special, but it's also getting lonely having all these thoughts stuck in my head with nobody to turn to with them. (My mom is a QUEEN and I am so thankful for her, but I'd also like to talk to people who maybe get it a bit more.)

I was pretty lucky. I didn't grow up in so much of a bubble that I thought being into girls would automatically make my whole life one giant sin. I had lots of people in my life who respected the LGBT community and showed me the unfairness in the way they've been treated. But I still think of hurtful things I've heard and it still makes me want to cry sometimes. And if I feel lonely, maybe some of you do too — and maybe I can also help you find the community I've longed for. :)

NOTE: I have no preference between SSA and LGBT terms. Personally, I will use the term "bisexual" since I think it's more specific than SSA, but I don't really think it matters that much! Everyone has different perspectives and I will respect your desires either way. <3

[ampersketch-art]

Your friends watching something for the first time and getting to that scene VS you, the knower.

[notyoursunnygirlfriend]

@side-b-bumblebi while I watched Young Sherlock and got to THAT plot twist 😭☠️

[side-b-bumblebi]

I was having the TIME OF MY LIFE bestie

[fi-amannillah]

- you mind if I call you for a second?

[notyoursunnygirlfriend]

@side-b-bumblebi us

[side-b-bumblebi]

I hope we never change fr fr

[niknak79]

[odysseusyes]

even with those four numbers there are countless possible combinations good luck with figuring out which one is the right one you punk

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator*

It’s pretty likely that it’s a four digit number, and as there are four digits chosen there, that means that there cannot be any repetition. This mean that there are:

n!/(n-4)! possible orders. As ‘n’ is 4 (number of digits available). 4!/0! which becomes 4x3x2x1/1 which simplifies to 24. That means that there are 24 possible combinations of codes. This would take you about two or three minutes to input all possible codes.

[crashingsunlight]

Unless an alarm goes off if you don’t get it right in 3 tries

[eatsleepcrap]

*straightens calculator again*

Kick the fucking door in

[the-brave-little-blogger]

well ‘technically’ the code is most likley 1970. statistically, a majority of people, when told to choose a 4 digit code will choose their birth year. and this key pad is obviously a few years old to put it nicely, thats most likley it. 

[everyonesfavoriteging-blog]

some sherlock holmes shit just went down over here

[the-neon-pineapple]

No, no, no. Don’t base your deductions of psychology. Let’s talk chemistry. When you first press a button, there’s more of the natural oils on your skin, and therefore it wears down the numbers on the keys faster. Obviously 0 is the first one, then. Try 0791 first.

Sherlock out.

[perks-of-being-chinese]

woah.

[panicrobot]

it got better

[twistedthicket1-deactivated2022]

and this is why the sherlock fandom could either rule the world or end it….

[ofthefantastic]

Close, but not quite, I think. People will almost always choose a number they can remember. What’s memorable about 0791? Try 0719 - a birthday, 19th of July. That is more likely.

[venatrix26]

Those deductions are great and all, but unnecessary.

The light is green.

The door is already open.

[party-gilmore]

And that’s why we have a John Watson.

[lotrlocked]

This is “top 10 favorite posts” level.

[moriartyfortheevening]

Omg, it’s actually on my dash! This post is like a fossil!

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[side-b-bumblebi]

People who don’t like Edmund because of his past genuinely confuse me.

Edmund did make a HUGE mistake and Aslan died for it. But the point of Edmund’s character isn’t that he messed up, it was his response to everything that happened. We know that he was likable and then started behaving poorly after trouble at school, which makes perfect sense. He becomes unlikable and spiteful and bitter and he makes the wrong choice pretty much every time he makes one. He’s sinful and fallen, just like the reader.

But then he sees people suffering, actually suffering because of his actions. He’s been faced with real danger for the first time in his very young life. He never wanted any of that, but he was too selfish to let himself realize the consequences his actions would have. And when he’s confronted with it he’s horrified.

What makes Edmund special is that he then doesn’t sit there and wallow in his misery and self-loathing any longer. He realizes he’s spent far too much time doing that already. He becomes kind and fair. He becomes reliable. It says something that he gives second chances to those who hurt him. It says something that he stands up for Lucy even when he’s clearly nervous after that. It says something that he was called Just. It says something that Eustace wanted to talk to him before the others.

If there’s no hope for a stupid child who realizes he’s wrong and does everything in his power to be better, then really, what hope is there for the rest of us?

[side-b-bumblebi]

Hi I haven’t been on here in a minute but Side B Tumblr how we feeling about Kpop Demon Hunters bc I’m obsessed

[sidebchristian]

i love it and i’m also obsessed!!

i really love jinu and rumi 🥺❤️‍🩹

[side-b-bumblebi]

ME TOO!! As individual characters and as a ship they’re so dear to me… I love how they actively contribute to each other’s growth too (even with the flaws in their relationship, I feel like they both helped each other to grow).

I also related to it so much and I lowkey think it’s partially because of the Side B side lol. The feeling of being distinctly separate from the two groups of people you identify with most and feeling like people can ONLY love you in pieces… I can’t wait to see more of Side B Tumblr watch this tbh.

[side-b-bumblebi]

Hi I haven’t been on here in a minute but Side B Tumblr how we feeling about Kpop Demon Hunters bc I’m obsessed

[currentlycryingaboutlancelot]

the play hamlet by william shakespeare does not begin with the appearance of the titular character, but rather, the appearance of a ghost who has a frightening interaction characters who, for the most part, will not show up again. this scene serves the purpose of showing something strange and unnatural is afoot, paving the way for hamlet to encounter this being later in the play. yet this strategy of introducing a ghastly character through a short introductory sequence is not limited to 16th century plays; it appears also in television shows such as scooby doo and supernatural. in this essay

[yourfaveissideb]

Sofia from Goncharov is Side B!

[baphonnicula]

nowhere else

[johnnycrass]

[fairycosmos]

[side-b-bumblebi]

I think we as a society really need to learn to let people talk about their moms’ flaws.

YES I know sometimes moms get unfair hate. The act of raising children, especially of staying home to raise them, is often looked down upon and laughed at it and nobody should be made to feel ashamed of it. It’s hard work and people will say it’s not, but it is. You are responsible for another person and people don’t value that because they don’t value kids or see them as people. (Don’t get me started on how society has been raising generations of kids who feel unwanted or like their very existence is a burden.)

But… moms who talk about being their sons’ first date or who talk about not wanting to share their sons with any potential girlfriends? They’re weird. It’s emotional incest and it’s not okay.

And the truth of the matter is that as much as we talk about girls internalizing all these toxic expectations of how they should act simply because they’re girls, nobody wants to talk about where they’re learning those expectations. Oftentimes it’s from other girls. And oftentimes it starts with their moms.

I have almost never had guys tell me that I shouldn’t want to play knight or that my makeup didn’t look good enough or that I looked slutty for wearing red lipstick with shorts. I’ve had girls tell me that though. I’ve had my mom say these things.

Oftentimes daughters are told that their moms have been through a lot. That their moms are tired. That their moms would have been happier if they’d never had kids. Maybe some of that is true sometimes. But a lot of times abusive fathers were raised by abusive fathers and I’ve never had anyone tell me that I shouldn’t talk about the issues I’ve had with my father because of that.

Maybe there’s some truth to those things but we are not obligated to fix our mothers’ problems. They are obligated not to put their problems onto us. I’m not interested in excuses.

[side-b-bumblebi]

I remember as a kid I used to fantasize about being a guy because I felt like a failure of a girl. I was awkward and liked stories about wars and battles and I thought about kissing other girls. It was so lonely.

Undoing that is still taking time, but… there’s no right or wrong way to be a girl. It’s okay if you like pink and makeup and boys. It’s okay if you like black leather and battle ballads and girls. It’s okay if you like all of those things.

You’re not doing anything wrong.

[side-b-bumblebi]

So what songs are Side B coded to you guys? I’m thinking of With or Without You by U2 and I Can’t Be With You by The Cranberries as a couple of mine

[side-b-bumblebi]

Doomed yuri/yaoi couples are so fun to me and I in part blame my inner Side B for it

[side-b-bumblebi]

Has someone sent Glinda and/or Elphaba to your @yourfaveissideb yet

[side-b-bumblebi]

Yusuke Kitagawa is so funny like nothing will convince me this man is straight and I love him

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[dannnnnnnnnnnnex]

WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

43. The three princesses of the tower

44. Opportunity off to the afterlife

45. Transcript of Multiple Conversations Between the Awakened Hero of Legends and a Reporter