Side Swap AU - Chapter One
by @jupiters-orbit and @iwoulddieforjanus
ships: platonic DRLAMP, prinxiety, intruality, implied loceit
Warnings: Remus being Remus and cursing
Summary: The gang goes off on an adventure in the imagination for bonding time, but it doesn’t go as planned.
“Roman, this is so stupid,” Virgil grumbled next to Roman.
“Oh please, like you had a better idea! All you wanted to do was sit on the couch in silence while you listen to your dumb emo music.” Roman waved his sword around as he spoke, as if it added drama to his words.
Virgil muttered some curses before placing his headphones back onto his head and pulling his phone out, but before he could play any music, Patton placed his hand on the phone. “Kiddo, why not give Roman’s idea a chance? We can do your idea some other time.” Virgil sighed as the father figure smiled at him.
“Besides,” Patton shrugged “It’s just one small trip into the imagination. What could happen?” Virgil smiled a little at that. Patton’s voice always seemed to comfort him.
“Look Jan-Jan! I found a spider and it has eyes all over its body! Look how creepy it is!!” Remus jumped up and down excitedly. Janus dismissed Patton’s screams in the background as he took the spider in his hand.
“Oh please, Remus, I love that nickname, don’t stop calling me that,” Janus said, his words dripping with lies.
“Will do Jan-Jan!” Remus saluted as he ran off to find more gross stuff, Janus rolled his eyes and smiled.
“We have arrived!!” Roman shouted dramatically waving his arms in the air. Patton whistled staring at the huge cave in front of them.
“You do realize this is your imagination, correct? Couldn’t you have just made a method of transportation to make this trip easier?” Logan crossed his arms and stared at Roman.
“Oh, please! Where is the adventure in that? Besides, we are supposed to be bonding, remember?” Roman gestured for them to follow him into the cave “Let us go, my fellow compatriots!”
They all headed into the cave and looked in awe at all the crystals around them. “Okay, now we must be discreet. We don’t want to alarm the—”
Roman was interrupted by a loud crash, followed by Remus shrugging as Roman spun around to find the source of the noise. “Whoopsies!” Roman groaned.
“WHAT PART ABOUT DISCREET DONT YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU HEATHEN?!” Roman shouted glaring at his twin.
“Roman!” Patton whisper-shouted. “I wouldn’t turn around if I were you!” Despite Patton’s words, Roman turned around to look at where Patton was pointing.
“Oh great! Bonding time, right Roman?” Virgil sighed, clearly irritated. “What’s next? We’re gonna be cursed for all eternity! Great idea! What will you think of next time, Princey?”
“Listen, all I wanted to do was show you some cool crystals, but Remus had to mess that up!” Roman shouted while pointing at his brother accusingly.
“I MESSED IT UP?! Well, it was Patton and Janus’ dumb idea for us to do this ‘bonding’ in the first place!” Remus yelled, using air-quotes around the word ‘bonding.’
The group erupted into fighting and yelling as the Dragon Witch and Logan watched, both exasperated.
“Guys, I think we should—” Logan was interrupted by more yelling from the group. “Guys! You are bickering like children, now may we please—” Logan raised his voice only to get interrupted again by more shouting.
The Dragon Witch had begun to grow tired of the arguing and began to tap her feet on the ground. “LISTEN UP!” she shouted, making the group freeze, suddenly silent, and turn to look at her.
“You all CLEARLY don’t know what bonding is, and you need to figure it out.” The Dragon Witch grabbed a potion that had all the sides’ signature colors in it.
“I don’t have a feeling that Virgil isnt going to be right about the whole being-cursed-for-eternity thing and that we definitely shouldn’t run!” Janus shouted.
“What are you talking about Jan-Jan? We need to run!” Remus yelled behind Janus.
“Ugh, just— GO!” Janus groaned and started to run out of the cave, but before anybody could escape, they were all hit with a cold, clammy mist that made them shiver.
Logan awoke and rubbed his eyes “Guys, what happened?” He stretched and yawned but stopped immediately after he heard Romans shrieking.
“I LOOK HIDEOUS!!” Roman stared down at his outfit. His sash was still red at the top, but it now faded into purple at the end and his previously white top had been replaced with a black top with purple patches.
Looking at Roman made Logan notice the yellow gloves on his hands and the capelet that now hung around his shoulders. His tie’s usual deep blue had changed to a bright yellow. He reached up to touch the hat that had appeared on his head but Janus— or at least, someone he thought was Janus— grabbed it off of his head. “Give me that!” He placed it on top of his head with a huff and brushed himself off, leading Logan to stare at Janus’ new outfit. It was white and red, with a sash instead of his usual capelet hanging around his neck. His top had the same usual stripes as it usually did, but they were gold instead of yellow and the black was now white.
“Oh great Roman, you got us into another one of your stupid ‘adventures,’ and now we’re all cursed or something! I thought you were a great guy, but now—” Virgil looked like he was about to continue but he slapped his hand over his mouth before any more words could come out.
“Well I for one, am tired of this bullshit. We should go do something else before Roman fucks everything up again.” Everyone stared in shock at the words that had just come out of Patton’s mouth. “What now?” Patton crossed his arms and then gasped as the realization hit him. “Oh my fucking god.” While everyone was staring, they noticed Patton’s outfit, with his polo shirt now black instead of the usual baby blue, and his cardigan had swapped to a bright lime green.
Now that Logan thought about it, Virgil and Remus’ outfits were quite strange as well. The patches on his hoodie had become different shades of light blue and the black had become a lot lighter than usual. “What happened?” Janus asked.
“I have a feeling that we have all switched traits. As you can see, all of our outfits have changed, and Patton is now speaking as I would. Virgil also seems to be speaking his true feelings, as if he isn’t able to repress them anymore.” Everyone looked at Remus, stunned. His outfit looked quite similar to how it did before, yet it was blue instead of green and he now had a tie around his neck, which he was fiddling with a little obsessively.
“What?” Janus was the first to break the silence. “Not even 30 minutes ago you didn’t even know what the word discreet meant, and now you can speak like Logan all of a sudden?”
“Guys, I think my brother is actually right for once. I’ve got this worrisome feeling that we are gonna be stuck like this for a while.” Roman shifted a little as everyone went quiet.
This time, Patton broke the silence with only 2 words.
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