sideyard.

race down the street, pair of new rollerblades on my feet. and i wasn't watching the time, time wasn't catching up to me. the audacity, the sun would go down on days like these. but I didn't see it like that, i just saw blue turning into pink.

[cotiere]

and they're back to where they started. claire might not know what she wants but she knows she wants for more. and she cannot reconcile with preston's desire to settle. following the dreams and expectations of their parents and staying there, content with what's been laid out for them. disappointment potent, it seeps out of her every pore. she tries to keep it off her face and out of her voice.

 〝 that's it? marriage and a 9 to 5? 〞 she's not even twenty-two. 〝 no … mounting everest or starting your own or seeing the seven world wonders or, i don't know, join the circus? 〞

[sideyard]

"Join the circus?" She looks at her in disbelief, amusement twitching at the corners of his mouth. "You're cute." He concedes, poking her cheek with his finger. "That all sounds great, but that's not really us." He's down to travel, Mallorca or Fiji or somewhere when they can really relax after a busy season. "You don't want me to dream of marrying you?" He's pretty sure that's what every girl wants of their guy.

[cotiere]

information volunteered does not necessarily equal a welcomed interrogation. jack asks, and her skin begins to itch. she's always been private but with kai she's tightlipped. what they had always kept between the two of them, like a secret handshake or an inside joke. then, even with kai she's guarded.

 〝 fine, 〞 benevolently, odette spares him the details. 〝 still haven't told ava. gonna be a lot less fine when i do. 〞

[sideyard]

"Wrong! You should feel magical, exquisite, the best version of yourself you could possible be." He's only half-teasing. Jack's never really fully understood the two of them, because they're so private — and Kai's a sweetheart but he's so so shy, but if he's going to be in her life on a more permanent basis, he should probably get some hangouts going. "Do you think? You underestimate her. She's really growing into a mature, young woman. I'm sure she can handle it."

[cotiere]

@sideyard + 〝 i just hope when i die that i don't see it coming. i hope i'm already dead and five minutes later, i'm like "what the fuck just happened?" 〞

[sideyard]

"What's got you feeling so morbid today? Personally, I don't think I'm ever dying. I'm definitely gonna be ones of those guys that live until they're like, 100."

[cotiere]

claire knows, alright. an environment previously relished in, now suffocating. its people, too. and up until recently, its worst offender had been the boy beside her. she still feels it sometimes, like hands squeezing her throat, every time he looks her way, eyes expectant and warm.

but not tonight. not with arms hooked, steps in sync.

 〝 what do you want to do? 〞 she asks, sounding more like a guidance counsellor than a girlfriend. they've had this conversation before, only it'd been practical—nepotism and staying close to home. it's not what she's asking now. 〝 after graduation, if you could do anything. sky's the limit. 〞

[sideyard]

His mouth wobbles into a curious smile. She's asked this question before like she expects a different answer. But he's always been crystal clear on what he wants from life and how to get it, and how Claire fits into it all. He's more than happy to explain it again, excited by his life plan — their life plans. "I suppose where we'll go depends on what internship I get. But it would be nice to go to a city we haven't been before. Obviously the dream would be to get in somewhere with a Fortune 500 company, but I'd be pleased with anything that provides us with a comfortable life. And then, you know, settle down, whether that's back home or not, put a ring on it..." He grins, sincerely excited by the prospect.

"Or did you mean just the summer after we graduate? We can do whatever you want." Especially since they'd probably be moving to wherever his internship end up being after.

[lcgcndary]

“   sure,   ”   monotone and flat affect show a lack of interest in the metaphor, although there’s a soft stir within his gut  —  the realization that people he deems acquaintances accept him as more.   “   i’ve been okay, busy with end of the year exams but you get used to it after a while.   ”   a pause, emmas voice in his mind encouraging further interaction.   “   how about you?   ”

[sideyard]

He nods, like he understands, but he can't remember the last time he took an exam. Maybe the Buzzfeed MBTI quiz, if that counts, because it had felt very high stakes. "What are you studying again?" Jack, for once, doesn't have much to update him about. "Ah, you know, just working. Though I intend to have a very eventful summer. I'm not sure how, yet, but sun's out gun's out!"

[cotiere]

her imagination goes along with amara's scenario, the part of her new best friend played by a faceless blob, eventually to bleed out on the sidewalk. hit and run, she figures. although her friend doesn't go into too much detail. a shame, too. it's what she's the most curious about. even if this scheme to prompt jealousy out of florence strokes her ego well enough.

 〝 kind of want to test this out now. see how far you'll go. 〞 she admits, a comment to be made in jest although none is found. leaning in, her voice is lowered. 〝 don't think you have it in you, though. too much of a chicken. 〞

[sideyard]

"I'm not a chicken. You're a chicken." She insists, equally close, voice equally low and menacing and challenging. Florence smells good, or it's Autumn's bedsheets but she highly doubts that. There's a compulsion to want to stay here, like this, chatting shit with Florence in bed all day, lazing around, but she has shit to do. Still, five more minutes won't hurt.

"Would you kill for me?" She asks back. There's nothing Florence could do to prove it, but she'll believe her answer all the same.

[cursedshores]

she is ooey-gooey in love, and she's about to espouse the benefits of her relationship as unrelated to football or schools of political thought, when jack breaks her out of their shared misty-eyed mirth in a second. emma tilts her head, eyes narrowing only slightly — a projection of innocent curiosity as the gears turn in her head. it's not that she's a stranger to secrets, but as someone who is usually on the inside of them among their friends in new haynes, she can't help but feel a little miffed that she's been left out of one. and confused. " kai? why would kai be there? " an uncomfortable laugh.

[sideyard]

"She didn't tell you?" It's quite shocking to him, which does a good job of replacing any ugly feelings of smugness at the fact. "They're dating again. Like in an actual relationship." Jack sort of misses Diego. He was like, one of the girls. And Connor's like a man-man. And Kai's just sort of...There. "We like him though, right?"

[cursedshores]

" go to night school, or something. but not business. waste of money. at least for me. mean, i'm working in the same place i did in high school, i just run this shit now. i've got loans, and my parents dropped a fat stack of cash on it anyway. so there's that soul-crushing guilt. " punctuated, of course, by the fact it's kind of hard to reap the benefits of your investment into your child's education when you're dead before she graduates. " do they have... barista school, or something? learn a non-starbucks macchiato like they teach the cosmetology kids balayage? "

[sideyard]

"Night school's a possibility, but then there's Love Island in the summer and the Bachelor in the fall..." He thinks out loud. "I'd say that's pretty impressive, though! It's nice to have the security of staying in one place. I think that's quite important for me, personally." Not that she'd asked, but he'd felt compelled to share. Jack has no plans from ever moving from here, he wants to lay down roots. Maybe with Sienna? He snaps back into reality. "I believe there are, but not to toot my own horn, but I'm not sure how much I'd get out of it. Perhaps if I was just starting, it would be a different story."

[cotiere]

it's been like a dream. finding their way back to one another, falling in love all over again, moving in together. if she weren't so enamoured by their present, she'd be planning every detail of their future. for now, she relishes in what'll once be a memory. giddy with cheeks aching, drunk on both wine and love.

 〝 oh, i'm a total nut. 〞

had things worked out differently for them, or if lou hadn't reciprocated all those wanton emotions, she undoubtedly would be. but never would she have chosen anybody else.

 〝 i've spent my whole adult life wanting you, lou. ever since the parakeets. 〞 it's too sentimental. digging any deeper and it'll surely set off more waterworks, so she keeps it light. 〝 you were being so sweet with 'em, and i remember thinking it was a shame i'd gone and messed it all up because i just wanted to jump your bones all over again. 〞

[sideyard]

His grin is big, amused and delighted by her not-sober confessions, even though he thinks she might say all these things sober. That makes his heart swell with fondness. "I'm a little nutty too. We're like squirrels." He says, snorting at the dumbness of his own joke, lips pursed together trying to squash the embarrassing smile from peeking out. It's weird, because he would feel lame, but he's not, because he's with her and she makes him feel good about himself, like, all the time.

"Was I? I don't even remember. I was probably just hanging around them so I could talk to you." He's grateful for the job, because it meant being around Sawyer, and it's easy enough that he can sit and play games on his phone for half the day. His mouth screws up into this unintelligible things. "I'm sorry it took me so long. To, like – for us to -- or for me to come back to you."

[cotiere]

 〝 you're too old to be using words like that, or to be hanging around twenty year olds. 〞 deflection. 〝 and it's not, actually. it's a relationship. 〞

[sideyard]

"I'm young at heart. Is she really twenty now? We're getting old!" But that's not really what he wants to talk about. "Okay!" He's a little surprised about it but — okay! "And how is that going?"

[taccnda]

"not really. if a song i like comes on i'll recognize it, but... yeah, i don't know. maybe you should play me something you like."

[sideyard]

"Sure." It feels a bit like bait sometimes, being asked to play a song he likes, because Lou knows he'll get irritated if the other doesn't like it. Still, hook, line, and sinker. He plays Leave me Alone by New Order, nodding his head slightly to the beat. Makes Jump listen to all four minutes and forty-one seconds of it before he puts his phone away. "Yeah, I don't know. This is what I've been into lately."

[cursedshores]

" i was a business student back in school, so, marx'd probably want me hung. or sent to the gulag, or whatever. you don't exactly look like a guy who hangs with free-thinking political fringers. even with the whole environmental activist thing. i'd think you were the police mole sent to doom us, if i was like, throwing molotovs at banks and stuff. very straight-laced. "

[sideyard]

"Were you? That's great! College wasn't in the cards for me but I'd love to get a degree eventually. And business makes sense considering what I do." He enthuses, though he does feel a bit old to be a student whenever college-aged kids come to grab their strawberry oat matchas and flat whites. "Oh, well I'm not. I do my best, but I wouldn't say I'm doing anything radical. Well, if I were a secret police mole, I'd surely give you a free pass!"

[cotiere]

there's a retort at the tip of her tongue: sardonic in nature, a little bit mean, but then he gives her an opening. and she's been waiting for that opening. not in any way anticipatory, rather dreading it. odette tangled up in promises made behind closed doors, of a future beyond them, ones she's deferred for months and could still postpone, in theory. or she could rip off the bandaid.

 〝 well, kai. 〞

[sideyard]

He blinks at her. Opens his mouth then clamps it shut again. "Right..." Jack processes, narrowing his eyes at her. "You know your daughter taught me a term the other day. Situationship? It seems quite applicable to whatever you two have going on."

[cotiere]

it's not something florence's unfamiliar with, utilising other people's jealousy to achieve goals of her own. but it's juvenile—not beneath her, simply something she outgrew. not necessary beyond the sandbox and pre-k. still she wonders what amara's jealousy could give her.  〝 what would you do? 〞eyes fixed, unwavering in their staring contest, a sickening sincerity entwines with florence's curiosity. 〝 kill her? 〞

[sideyard]

Amara's mostly bark, but it serves her here, able to talk up a big game when Florence is staring her down, anticipating something spectacular. She considers the hypothetical deeply, teeth flush against her lower lip with concentration. "That seems a little basic. I'd obviously become best friends with her, and you'd, like, be the third wheel. Just to make you, like, suffer a little bit. I would eventually have to get rid of her, though because obviously I'm doing all of this to be your best friend. So then I guess I'd have to kill her. It's hard to even think about because I can't imagine you having a better friend than me."

[cotiere]

sawyer's not one of those girls whose whole life stops spinning because of some guy. but lou's so much more and for that her world instead orbits his. a fact once rousing guilt now bringing comfort, like being wrapped in a blanket smelling of home. it's a part of growing up, she thinks, choosing your person—and making them the sun.

she beams, eyes still wet but brighter now.

 〝 you're mine, too. 〞a pause, and a disclaimer. only so sincere.〝 but you can't tell anyone. 'specially not teddy. i think he's getting just a little bit jealous. 〞

some rule is being broken here. unfortunately sawyer is too tipsy to give it another thought. instead a hand move to his cheeks, skin caught between thumb and knuckle.

 〝 and who can blame him? look at that face. 〞

[sideyard]

A small laugh ekes out of him. "No, I'm definitely gonna tell Teddy." He says, eyes glinting with something cheeky. Sawyer's changed him for the better in immeasurable ways, but there's still an instinctive tendency to be an ass to anyone other than her. It's why he doesn't really have any friends. He'd only get some if Sawyer wanted him to — content to sit in his room and play video games and if inspiration strikes, make music. It works just about, this balance, and he's never once felt claustrophobic from them living together.

He smiles against her touch. "My face? What about your face? You could have anyone you wanted." He taps her temple. "Must be a screw loose up here. Choosing me. But hey, I'm not complaining."

[cotiere]

it should be a turn off. marriage, and everything that comes with it. her feeble attempts at parting ways would imply as much. but there's something about those vows, about being someone's… about death doing them part.

marty pushes up against her and she writhes in response, chin lifted a little higher and a grip dips down to his wrist. not to remove but to keep. the weight on her throat tolerable, and there's another thing that oughtn't get her all worked up.

she nods.

 〝 mhm, 'd like it even more with you inside a' me. 〞 her lips brushed against his, that piteous tone colluding with a pout.〝 warming me up. 〞

[sideyard]

She looks so pretty like this, beneath him, looking up at him — him, the only thing in her field of vision, in her periphery. He hopes she never goes away again. Maybe if she did, he'd follow her. Her cloying tone is sweet, even if it's put on just for his sake, and brushed lips turn into a kiss, sinking into it.

"Wouldn't it be the other way around? You'd be warming my cock up. You want that?" He coos back, reaching down to jerk himself off a little.

[cursedshores]

" jack, of course he likes you. he was your friend first. and it's not exactly like he's mr. extrovert, so it's really special you guys are close. " she tries her best to sound supportive. she loves jack too much to reach the point of exasperation, but part of her does wonder why this seems to be weighing on jack so heavily. it worries her, at the very least, and makes her feel a little guilty that what's causing her so much happiness is throwing such a wrench in his life, and then a little annoyed that she feels guilty in the first place. " and yes, really, really. like, i don't know. you know i haven't exactly had the best luck in love. but this is different. it's like i'm finally more happy where i am than i am worried it's all gonna fall apart. i can't even describe it more to you right now without sounding like an embarrassing, hair-twirly dummy. and that makes me even happier. i really love him. " a softness, for all the love in her life, romantic and otherwise, has crept onto her expression. " and he knows you like him. we should all do something together soon. you, me, him, odette... "

[sideyard]

A part of him knows that he's asking her to be coddled — and another part received it without question, because she's so good at it, probably because she has so much experience with little kids. "And I like him too! And you know what, it has opened me up to new experiences. It was fun watching the Superbowl." His favourite part was the half-time show and seven-layer dip. Besides, anyone's better than Mickey. So, in the grand scheme of things, this is a good thing. His expression softens into something sincere, not that he's ever intentionally trying not to be, but sometimes he gets lost in the frills and melodrama of life itself. "You deserve that kind of security. And it's nice to see you all ooey-gooey in love." It nearly makes him misty-eyed again, this time not with the distress of her moving out but just about how happy she looks. "Kai. Did you know that was a thing? Well, you probably did. I'm always the last to find out about everything."