run deep, run wild

'BE FEARLESS IN THE PURSUIT OF WHAT SETS YOUR SOUL ON FIRE.'

[siennadaniels]

masonduchanne​:

“Doctor man, yes,” Mason couldn’t help himself but chuckle a little as she held onto him; feeling more and more like one of those overly chivalrous southern gentleman he had grown up to hate by the second. “Important? I’d probably have to go with a no on that one.” He knew it was probably a little too humble - it wasn’t like his success was any secret in their little town - but he just shrugged a bit through the pride. Shoulder bumping playfully as he raised his eyebrows down in her direction. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’d never phrase it that way? How’s this for a deal though, huh? I let you know when my next day off is, and…” Mason trailed off for a moment. “You let me know where I can pick you up?” 

“You are important, and a doctor, and a man,” she told him, her fingers curling over his arm. “And I am so very rarely wrong.” He was being modest and humble, she knew, but that was simply because his reputation spoke for himself. Golden boy, just barely younger than her— not enough to matter— and there it was. “Dr. Duchanne, it almost sounds a little bit like you’re asking me on a date, hm?” Sienna leaned forward, trying to get a good look at his face as they walked. “I would love to.” 

[siennadaniels]

theotheraldrich​:

“You still think I’m charmin’?” It was the wrong thing to focus on, he knew that, and honestly on some level she probably knew his dumbass would choose that to hang onto. He was grasping at straws here, trying to do anything, to say anything that could get her to soften just a tad. That’s what he used humor for, that’s what he always used humor for. When she was mad at someone else, it worked. When she was upset because of someone else, it worked. But now? His stupid quips and annoying smirk stood no chance, but he had to try anyway.

She was tired, exhausted by this, by him, but God if her saying his name as soft and breathless as she did didn’t make him feel just a bit a hope. That maybe, just maybe, one day she could speak to him without so much vitriol in her tone. “Look, Sienna.” He started, a hand reaching for hers, pulling back just before actually making contact. The last thing she’d want is for him to touch her, he had to remind himself of that, because reaching for her – it was a reflex.

“I’m not a smart guy, but I think it’s just me, y’know, subconsciously or whatever it is choosin’ the wrong girl on purpose. No better way to protect yourself than pursuing somethin’ that’s doomed from the start.” Despite what she might’ve thought, he was trying to figure out his thought process too. He knew what attracted him to Delilah initially, but it got out of control, fast, and that was harder to explain. “Think about it. Fallin’ for you, tryin’ to date Brooke Parker, goin’ back to Sadie a second time – hard to get hurt when you know it ain’t gonna work out. So yeah, I guess I’m..scared. Afraid I’m never gonna be it for someone, so I choose complicated relationships, I look at girls who I know there’s no chance in hell I’m right for. I don’t have to deal with rejection that way. I don’t have to –” He stopped, turning to her and locking eyes. “I don’t have to wake up one day to someone leavin’ me, decidin’ they don’t want me anymore, cause they never really wanted me to begin with.”

If looks could kill in that moment, the man in front of her would have dropped dead immediately. He was making jokes? She was more furious than she’d been at him in her entire life, and out of everything she’d said, this was what he chose to joke about? Sienna wanted to scream. Her hands were in the air, she realized, fingers curled as if they’d thought of strangling him on their own and abandoned the idea. Anger really made a girl go crazy. 

This was the most she’d felt in a long time, as if her body had been dormant since leaving New York, just floating through Frostford as if this was simply a break from real life. And now real life was right here, sitting on her couch with a sense of humor she’d once thought was great and now thought was hollow. 

Her eyes followed his hand as he reached out, watching as he stopped and pulled back. If you want me to hold your hand, she’d said. Here he was, being honest. Sienna hated it. She hated the sound of his voice and the way he talked about his bad decisions and, most of all, the way he expressed his rationale with the same cadence she’d explained hers. Eighteen is just too young and he’s going into the military and I have so many things I wanted to do and I thought we had time to do those things together and what else was I supposed to do? Leaving behind Jeremy, the velvet ring box sitting open on her nightstand as she grabbed her bags and left. Blocked his number. A whole year and a half, and that was all she’d done. Caught a cab to the airport at 4 am. 

But she’d been a teenager making teenage mistakes and an adult making big mistakes, and neither of those things had involved someone much younger than her and far less experienced. So much more naive. “You wanna look me in the eyes, me, after everything I’ve told you, you chose to say you did this because, what, you had feelings for me and you couldn’t stand the thought that I’d up and leave? Sadie deserves better than someone who uses her just to be with someone, Christopher.” Once upon a time she’d loved Sadie, somewhere in there she still did, when she wasn’t exhausted thinking about how much the other woman hated her. “It was easy for you. You would be wanted, if you tried. It’d be so easy for you to be wanted, Christopher. I run from my problems, yeah, yes,” she said, trying to carefully wipe away her unshed tears with her pinky. 

“I leave, without a second thought, without caring what anyone else feels like. But you could have done anything, you could have done literally anything apart from— sleeping with someone who is younger than Kat. Did you know that? My baby sister, my baby, is older than this girl. I saw it on her license.” 

[siennadaniels]

annarhce​:

There had to be a specific process for this type of grief. Being forced to come to terms with the fact that a person who had become a cornerstone of your life couldn’t be there anymore, but he’d still be everywhere you looked– it didn’t follow the same patterns as losing someone completely. Where was the handbook for this? 

“What didn’t he say?” Her laugh was dry, trying to mask the melancholy. “Found out a few months ago about high school, they way he felt back then. I know, I should’ve known, but I think I just pushed it all aside back then. Didn’t think much of it now that he’s engaged and happy. And then he sent me a Strawberry Gram.” Of course Anna kept the dumb piece of paper, so she passed it along to Sienna to read. 

It hadn’t ever been anyone else’s place to say it, to speak up about the obvious. Sienna had only started hinting at it once they’d been back in town and she’d seen Anna’s face every time she saw Jacob with Serena. And even then it wasn’t about his feelings so much as Anna’s. That was what mattered here. How her best friend felt. 

“You can’t guess people’s thoughts, Anna. He didn’t tell you, you couldn’t know why.” Maybe there was some element of purposely being obtuse, but Sienna stood by what she said. When they’d been friends for so long, how could Anna simply assume? She took the note— noticing how quickly Anna had found it— and read it. Her heart fell. “This—” Sienna’s mouth dropped open. “Anna, this is— Good god, well what were you supposed to do with this? What a mess.”

[siennadaniels]

portiamartin​:

“You gonna help or what, Sienna?”

“Fine.” Sienna moved her purse from the crook of her elbow to her shoulder. She’d need it to be out of the way if she was going to help Portia carry all her shopping bags. “Did you go to Mobile or Fashion Week?” 

[siennadaniels]

hannahcartwright​:

“And both as humble as can be.” Hannah teased with a knowing smile. Hannah loved all her children, there was however a different bond between mother and daughter and all Hannah wanted was to hold her close and never let her go and she knew that she couldn’t do that. “Oh lord why am I having more children, so I can go through this over and over again. I might be out of my mind.” Hannah said running her fingers through her hair. She knew exactly why though, this had been all Hannah had ever wanted to be in life.  A mom. It wasn’t something a lot of people understood, probably more so when she talked like this, and she felt guilty as hell about it.

“You mean other then when I lost my mind on Colton or maybe when I started crying in the middle of Bushels because they were out of baked beans?” Hannah asked, a guilty expression. Her emotions were a mess, they were admittedly all over the place and some days it was hard to reign. Poor Tanner, was a saint for what he had to put up with some days. “This whole baby things got my feelings all over the place.”

“You knew what you were signing up for.” She laughed, shaking her head slightly, her smile growing at the thought of little Gracie Belle knowing exactly how much she was worth. All little girls deserved to be spoiled, and she was glad that this one got to have that. “You forget, I’ve grown up stuck between two brothers, she and I are more alike than you think.” 

Five kids was a lot; Hannah’s voice didn’t sound all that terrified, though. Hannah talked about motherhood the way Sienna talked about clothes, or her friends, or her next jet-setting destination. Hannah had always  been able to find happiness in things without getting restless or jittery about what came next. “I would cry about both of those things, you know those Rollins boys are more frustrating than they need to be. Colton still cards me every time I go to the bar and he knows I’m older than him.”

[siennadaniels]

azrapls​:

“Still don’t think you’re a terrible person,” she stated with a small shrug, “Fuck anyone who does.” People were a lot more than the sum of one or two decisions. A scoff a laugh left her lips, “Nah, but I left my daughter on the dad’s doorstep when she was a year old.” It sounded bad like that, and maybe it was, but there was more to it. Not that anyone in this town would let her get  a word out about it. “I just was curious. Been back for a few weeks and think it may have been the worst idea to return. You’re the only other person I know, other than Calvin, who is just coming back.” 

Well. She’d never left a daughter. But Azra didn’t seem too pleased with the decision, and Sienna didn’t think saying anything judgmental would help right now. “I don’t think coming back was a bad idea, Azra.” She took a deep breath, thinking of what to say next. A child. An entire human life that she’d brought into the world, a whole host of responsibilities she hadn’t anticipated. 

Sienna hadn’t even been able to think about marriage properly when she was thirty-three, Azra’s panic was valid, even if her choices weren’t. “But why did you come back? Was it for the baby? Is she here?” Did Nadia know? 

[siennadaniels]

lexacartwright​:

“Um who told ya you were in insufferable? We should probably get one of our many brothers to punch them in the face. I mean what are brothers for?” Lexa reasoned with a shrug because truth be told she had no issue using that to her advantage. “I feel like its where Thomas would want me to be,” Lexa admitted shrugging her shoulders. “If I’m being honest my life there didn’t feel real. I mean I spent all this time there and I always just felt like a little kid playing dress up, playing make believe. Coming home was kind of the wake up call I needed to realize I’d lost who I was. Losing Thomas, made it clear that other stuff just doesn’t matter. As painful as they can be, my relationships and my life here are real and genuine. I don’t regret it. I mean the dating scene is awful and I’m going to die alone but its fine.” A casual shrug from a girl who clearly did not think that was fine. “Ya thinking about going back?”  

She didn’t have to use as many words with Lexa, didn’t have to figure out how to make her messy thoughts all into one coherent thing. They knew how the other worked. They knew each other. 

Being home meant being surrounded by people who knew her. “I said it myself.” 

Thomas had been pretty excited for her when she’d left. A big whole life ahead of her. He was supposed to have that, too. “You’re not going to die alone, Lexa, what?!” Sienna’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “Look at everything you just told me about wanting to be around people who are genuine and who really love you. How could every guy in town not want you? You’re not just a pretty blonde who had a moment on TV, you’re a real person with real feelings and wants and needs and you deserve everything good.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t know, I might have to stick around to make sure you don’t throw yourself a pity party, don’t I?”

[siennadaniels]

azrapls​:

If Azra knew one thing well, it was the concept of not looking great in the story. The being antagonist. “I don’t think that makes you look terrible,” she stated quietly, “I mean I could see why someone else might, or why you might see yourself as that, but I don’t think you are. People have all sorts of reasons for doing what they do. Just like your reasonings for leaving are valid, whatever they were.” She paused before adding, “Trust me, I get looking terrible to other people. it’s not fun.” 

“I’ve done it before,” Sienna told her. It wasn’t just about doing something, it was about not learning from it. Getting in too deep when she could have prevented that from happening. “Why do you think you look terrible, babe? I don’t think I’ve heard of you running away from two proposals. What’s wrong? Why’re you asking?”

[siennadaniels]

natzelimartinez​:

“I suppose it’s a good thing that your company is absolutely priceless to me, huh?” 

“If you think for one  second that sweet talking is going to work on me, Zeli, you’re absolutely correct.” 

[siennadaniels]

morgan-callaway​:

“It all sounds like so much fun.” Morgan was filled with a bit of wanderlust in that moment, nodding her head as Sienna talked about it, and made a note to check out her instagram more in depth later. Morgan dismissed her notion and took a sip of her drink, before her shoulders rose and fell. “I highly doubt that. I be there’s been interestin’ moments since you’ve been back. I mean, it’s Frostford. Lots of interestin’ things happen on the daily here.” She said with a little chuckle. “I mean, I don’t think there’s been anythin’ super excitin’. I mean the basket auction was fun. You bid, right? Did you have a good time? Gonna be one of the few couples that last even after the auction is over?”

“It was.” It really had been. But all good things came to an end, and maybe she’d get back to it someday. It wasn’t completely out of the realm of possibility. Maybe she was becoming too comfortable back home. Maybe things were just easier here, where she had no one to answer to, no one to attach herself to. No expectations. 

“I think there’s some stuff you can talk about, there has to be. Because any date is more interesting than me spending a few hours with Will Heine being his own very charming, very kind self.” 

[siennadaniels]

rayleighsheps​:

“I’m not sayin’ this town is dry, but.” And Rayleigh stopped, because she thought she sounded like her mother. “I am sayin’ my mom’s finally run outta people to set me up with. That must be a good thing.” 

@frostfordstart​

“You should count your blessings, there’s nothing worse than blind dates in a town where everyone knows everyone. Trust me, I’ve tried to make them happen, and they just don’t.”

[siennadaniels]

argentcl​:

“Steelie’s got enough on me from a whole lifetime, she don’t need that. S’least of my worries,” she said, which was true. “Not that she’d dare try’n cross me again. Plenty worse you could do with that.”

“I’m just joking,” Sienna laughed, “I think it’s nice I have something permanent to show me what your smile looks like. It’s a very pretty one. “

[siennadaniels]

mxfreddie​:

“Linen? Gee, I’m not sure I can quite pull off linen. I’m more of a poly-cotton blend kind of guy.”

“Not for this weather, you’re not. It’s really better for you, your health, your wardrobe,” she said. 

[siennadaniels]

zach-delgado​:

He sighed as she inspected his face, scrunching his nose, causing the gemstones to pinch. “I bribed an old man with cheese sticks and ended up at a gay bar in Montgomery. I feel like it was a good night? There was a feather boa involved if the feathers in my shirt this morning were any indication.”

“In that case,” she said, dropping her hand from his face. “I’m very offended you didn’t take me with you. I thought I could count on you for that.” 

[siennadaniels]

willow-mayfield​:

“Both! Definitely both!” Willow steers their cart toward the check out lane, trying to make the impossible decision of what she’ll get into first once they get back to her place.

“Nooo! And all his friends — oh my god. It’s perfect.” She can’t even remember the last time she watched that movie, but watching it a second time while drunk with Sienna sounds way too good to pass up. “If we need an encore, I’ve been dying to watch The Mummy with you while we’re both drunk. It’ll probably make me cry.”

How had she even made time for everyone when she’d come back for weekends and one week at a time? How had she even gotten to have nights like this with Willow? 

“You ever think about the love Rick and Evie had? I know it’s not a romantic movie, but I’ve been thinking about it.” 

[siennadaniels]

 austin-lockhart​:

“Quality of life?” Austin asked with wide eyes trying to picture what this could mean for him. “Sweetheart, you might have to, I really can’t be having a negative reaction to food, I just love it too damn much for that,” He said with hearty laugh as he pictured the whole thing. “I mean I can be a good sport, don’t get me wrong but I can’t have that kind of negative relationship with food.” 

Listening as Sienna basically ripped the whole Rothschild thing to shreds he had to purse his lips to keep from laughing and allow her to finish. “Oh no, no, no, don’t stop on my account. I am really just here for the show, you got to get something off your chest by all means.” He said waving his hands out in front of him as if to present her a stage to do. For what its worth your hair looks great. You look as kept up as I would expect a Rothschild to be but then again I don’t know I really understood what that meant, exactly.” Sure he’d let her get him all dolled up like a pageant girl to go visit her grand parents he’d always been on his best behavior but he’d never really experienced it the way Sienna had and he had no idea what it was like today. “Look at that, finding your manners in public and everything, that’s got to be a proud moment right?” He looked around, no one was really paying them any mind. “You feel better after that?”

She’d almost laughed. Almost. And then he’d said the word sweetheart and her laughter had caught in her throat. Without even wanting it to happen, all the memories came flooding back. Football games, her in her cheerleading outfit, his winks to her from the field; lying on her childhood bed, legs tangled, playing with each other’s hands for no reason; him kneeling down on one knee with a ring in his hand. 

That last one stopped her heart, again. The past fifteen years almost felt like they hadn’t passed at all; but they had. 

Sweetheart. “Yeah,” Sienna said, trying to keep her voice steady. “No, you and food? Can’t imagine that ever going South.” 

All of this and she’d just vented about her grandmother right here, in the middle of the street. She’d gotten too comfortable. And so had he. “I do, I do,” she said, nodding. “Sometimes my manners disappear, but they always come back. They never stay gone for long. Thank you, for that. For listening. You didn’t have to do that.” 

[siennadaniels]

joscasti​:

@siennadaniels​

“Okay, so, after a month and a few days I can officially say the moving in is over and… I’ve become part of Frostford.” Clapping her hands together she sat on the chair and smiled at her friend. “Should we celebrate with wine or margaritas?” She asked. “By the ay, how did your auction date go?” 

“I’m so relieved for you,” Sienna said, turning around the room. It felt lived in, finally, without any of the boxes and the bags everywhere. Like Jo could finally feel at home. Her own heart felt lighter looking around the rbight room. “Welcome back, babe,” she said, laughing at the memory of her auction date. “I got Hannah’s baby brother; apparently even Kat has nice things to say about him. He was very charming, perfectly a gentleman. It’s weird, though, Kat doesn’t usually bring up nice things about people.”