märCHiNG band

walk or proceed quickly and with determination

[saying]

[weirdnessisgood]

[dudettte]

The math books warned us about you

[hancarolyn]

goin home to be ugly in peace is one of my fav things to do

[z-ndjenja]

One day you’ll wake up at 11:30 AM on a Sunday with the love of your life and you’ll make some coffee and pancakes and it’ll all be alright.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

due to personal reasons I love to stay in bed for long, long hours and simply…stay in that bed. and honor it. and highkey just remain there.

[onlytwitterpics]

[gamechangershow]

[whyy0umadth0ugh]

Hey, I actually think we were meant to live in groups. The idea of permanent independence is a sham.

[eruditorumpress]

I really identify with the guy whose adult skill is having a Netflix login.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[tricktster]

boss asked me if i knew what a brony was today but he pronounced it like “brownie” then started explaining, but somehow I’M THE WEIRD ONE FOR INTERRUPTING WITH “Oh, you mean BRONYS, yeah, they do want to fuck horses!”

[tricktster]

boss today asked me if I knew what a bear was and it took the incredible effort of forcing every bone in my body to solidify into one giant Super Bone and in the process fusing my jaw shut for me to stop myself from saying “uh, yeah dude, you but gay.”

[tricktster]

boss texted me today about all the business we’ve been getting and i texted back “haha yup our dance card is getting pretty full!” followed immediately by two minutes of debilitating panic about whether that was an actual saying or just some nonsense I’d made up.

[tricktster]

boss came to my office today strictly to tell me he got hamilton tickets and had the nerve to be insulted when i referred to him as “the biggest copycat there ever was.”

[tricktster]

boss today texted me the most unorthodox elipsis i’ve ever seen

[tricktster]

my boss’s parents and my parents each have vacation homes in the same retirement community, which is widely rumored to be a hotbed of sexual depravity, so sometimes i deliberately antagonize him by implying - very innocently and with plausible deniability - that our parents swing with each other

[tricktster]

boss just came into my office to ask me a question, paused and said “what the FUCK are you listening to?” and when i sheepishly admitted it was a remix of the wii shop channel music, he just left.

[its-spelt-like-k-a-i-t]

op what is your occupation

[tricktster]

Rascal. 

[stimman3000]

we’re really at that point in the year where no one cares about anything huh

[krishnadewme]

[lionkins]

[wallpatterns-deactivated2019120]

My psych professor mentioned swaddling in lecture so I emailed him a picture of me being swaddled in my dorm room and asked if I could get extra credit because it was really hot in there and I got really sweaty and he was like “fabulous, sure”

[metaru-lee]

[sexanax]

dont catch feelings you’ll die

[sexanax]

no offense but why am i a dumb bitch who doesnt take her own advice

[dankmemeuniversity]

[melonmemes]

[exceptionals]

me, every day: i just dont have the energy for this today

[frawgs]

and then god was like let’s not give this bitch a break

[thebootydiaries]

me: *buys something online*

me:

me: where is it