Do It Like A Dude

Santana Lopez District Seven Former Lumberjack Rebel Soldier

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

[Quinn had never been one for following anyone, and even after the Games that hadn’t changed. Except for the fact that most of her walks now consisted of her being bound and shepherded through corridors. It was a mark of trust that Santana was actually willing to walk in front of her and an even greater one that she didn’t turn to look back at her. It could have been all for show, but Quinn appreciated the gesture nonetheless. It was the first time she’d felt human in awhile. Everybody else treated her like a monster.]

[As soon as Santana mentioned her abuela, Quinn felt her breath catch in her throat. There was still so much that she didn’t remember but her patchy memories and the look on Santana’s face was enough to make Quinn more than aware of how much the woman must have meant to Santana.]

…I’m sorry. It can’t be easy. 

[She thought of her own family and how her ‘rescue’ by the rebels now meant she had no way of knowing how they were. For all she knew they could be dead. For a moment she stared down at Santana, before joining her on the floor and extending a hand to slowly rest on Santana’s. Her words might’ve failed her, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t offer her ex ally any form of comfort.]

[sietana]

[Thinking about her abuela had always left Santana feeling a little sour and she swallowed the lump in her throat. She wasn't sure if Quinn would remember the conversation they had in the arena - after the jabberjays sent them all into a panic attack of sorts - but regardless, she kept her gaze straight ahead until she felt a hand on her own.]

[Staring down, she saw pale fingers intertwined with tan ones and she breathed a sigh of relief, missing this feeling of actually touching Quinn. They hadn't had any time where Santana could touch her, the last being when she put the necklace around the blonde's neck, and she was more than grateful that Quinn was the one that reached out. It meant that slowly, she was starting to trust her, and Santana turned to give her a small and sad smile.]

It's alright... The arena made me lose a lot of things and do a lot of horrible things but... it was also the place where I ended up doing one of the greatest things in my life.

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

[Quinn almost flinched in anticipation of the touch that never came. At the last second it seemed like Santana knew better than to push the progress that had been made. At this point Quinn didn’t know what to believe, but she no longer wanted to hurt Santana. Not on purpose anyways. There was no telling what her body would do on autopilot if provoked. But there was no need to worry about that. Not when it was just the two of them and Santana was leading her away from the crowd and to a quieter place where they could have some privacy. They had privacy before, but now there wasn’t a metal door in the way.]

O-okay. Now…tell me. What are you fighting for? And don’t say it doesn’t matter.

[sietana]

[Leading Quinn through the corridors, Santana had to keep herself from checking back over her shoulder to see if Quinn looked like she was about to attack or not. While she highly doubted that would happen, the two girls winding up being on civil terms despite the way that Quinn had been hardwired by the Capitol, she still couldn't be certain but she didn't want it to be too obvious that that was what she was doing. She had to admit, though, she was thankful that she and Quinn were going to get some unsupervised time to themselves... at least then maybe they could have a semblance of normalcy that they once had.

But, of course, Quinn brought up the question again and Santana sighed, running her hand through her hair.]

At first it was for you and for Sebastian and for everyone else we thought we lost but... now? My Abuela. She... She died. In Seven. My brother kept that away from me and I just... I just want to make sure it wasn't in vain. She wouldn't have wanted it to be in vain.

[Looking away, Santana swallowed the lump in her throat, moving to sit down on the ground next to the opened door. Talking about her grandmother was always hard on her, but she knew that it needed to be done. Especially since she wanted to be honest with Quinn.]

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

I wouldn’t have asked if it didn’t. 

[The last few words that came out of Quinn’s mouth were barely audible and considering how she’d said them to Santana’s back, she assumed the girl from Seven hadn’t heard her. As Santana walked off to talk to the guard, Quinn sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It was always one step forward and two steps back with them. One would open up and the other would withdraw and with her own doubts about Santana, it only made Quinn all the more confused.]

Where are we going? And don’t think I forgot about what we were talking about. It matters to me. 

[sietana]

[Chuckling as Quinn asked her where they were going, Santana was just about to grab the girl's shoulder when she remembered that being touched wasn't something that was going to help Quinn, and instead she nodded for the doors.]

We're going to head back to the cells. But don't worry. I talked them into letting us stay outside of the door for a little while, to give us a little more time to catch up.

[Pausing, Santana glanced at Quinn as she took a step forward, closer to the door than before.]

We can talk there, okay?

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

I would.

[Sometimes Quinn had to wonder if life would be simpler if she wasn’t as attractive as she was. For one she probably wouldn’t have been as popular in the arena and could have very easily died from her injuries. But then if she wasn’t pretty to begin with, she’d have been less likely trying to prove that she was more than a pretty face. One thing was for sure though and that was that Quinn didn’t completely buy Santana’s words.]

I’m a romantic but I never believed in it for me. But answer me something. If you don’t believe in this stuff…then why are you here? And what are you fighting for?

[She had to admit that she was intrigued to see whether or not Santana could work her magic and find a way for them to escape the wedding but still be able to talk without a steel door separating them. It was just nice to be out and be able to pretend that she wasn’t just a prisoner.]

Let’s do it then. Let’s see you find a way to get them to cut me some slack. 

[sietana]

[Santana was about to ask Quinn why she would trade things but was cut off guard when Quinn said that she was a romantic and never believed in it for herself. She had to wonder if that was something from before the arena, or if it was a result of the hijacking that the Capitol had done. Regardless, she couldn't think long on it as Quinn had asked her her own questions and Santana paused, not sure of how to say that.]

It doesn't matter.

[With that, Santana headed for the guards and spoke with them, urging them that Quinn was showing enough progress that they could loosen the reins a bit and, reluctantly, they agreed to give them a bit of leeway. With a smirk, Santana headed back towards Quinn and nodded for the doors.]

We're free to get out of here now.

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

You should know that pain too. 

[Santana was beautiful. Possibly the most beautiful woman that Quinn had ever seen and a part of her had to wonder what had happened to her to make her so jaded when it came to love.]

There’s always room for love and romance. If there wasn’t then what’s the point. What are you fighting for if not the freedom to have those things amongst others? It’s not pointless to want your closest friends and family there. It’s not pointless to want to share your happiness with them. 

[She hadn’t been expecting Santana to ask her to go anywhere with her, but the idea was certainly tempting. As sweet as the wedding was, Quinn didn’t have it in her to sit around for much more of the reception. Unfortunately for her, she knew it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.]

I would, but tweedledum and tweedledee behind me would have something to say about that. It’s either here or in my lovely new home. 

[sietana]

Oh, I definitely do. Though I can't say I'd trade it for anything.

[Getting the compliment back from Quinn was a huge step and Santana knew that it was progress, so she smiled lightly at the girl's words befre shruging her shoulder as she began to go on about romance.]

We're fighting for the freedom of having the choice to do stupid shit like that. As for me, well, I'm fighting for an entirely different reason, but that's neither here nor there. I never really pegged you for a romantic, but I guess looks can be deceiving.

[She could tell that Quinn was interested in the idea of getting out there, but she had to admit that she was right. There was no way they'd be able to get out of there and go somewhere else. It was either there, or with a door between them as Quinn waited in her prison cell. It was then that it dawned on Santana.]

True, but I could use some of my expertise to convince them to stay far away as possible so that we could have some privacy while we walked there. Maybe we could even get them to not put you in there right away, if you behave.

[Santana knew that the two of them had more luck talking to each other when they couldn't see each other, but, selfishly, Santana wanted more time to be able to talk to Quinn like this. Even if she knew that it could blow up in her face, she wanted to be able to have some sort of interaction with Quinn without having a door to talk through.]

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

[For a moment, Quinn couldn’t help but hesitate as her eyes searched Santana’s face for any hint of malice. Coming up empty, she smiled softly, attempting to see that compliment as just that. A compliment. But it was hard when all you knew were supposedly false.When your current home was a prison cell and the girl you’d once cared about made you feel sick from both caring too much and fear. All that went through her head as she shook her head gently and blushed.]

I can’t help it that I’ve always had the ability to turn heads. 

[While not ideal, joking seemed to be there way of dealing with the situation and it at least stopped things from getting too tense - something Quinn was eternally grateful for.]

I forgot you weren’t exactly a romantic. I don’t think wanting to pledge yourself to someone else for life is pointless. Everyone should be so lucky to find that person. 

[sietana]

Ah, the price of being beautiful, isn't it?

[Santana joked lightly, glad that her compliment hadn't deterred the girl and gotten a negative reaction from her. Instead, she joked, and Santana thought that she'd joke back as well. The two had bonded, before the Games had begun, over their beauty in the past, so she hoped that the words would only help jog her memory, instead of the alternative.]

In this world? It's not really right to be romantic, but I'm just saying that the ceremony is pointless. You don't need to get in front of a bunch of people and proclaim your love for someone to know that you'd be there for them no matter what.

[Pursing her lips, Santana reached for a glass of water, trying to act nonchalant and trying to get her mind off of the fact that she would do anything for Quinn, piece of paper or not. Regardless, she put the glass down and turned to Quinn.]

This party blows. You want to get out of here?

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

[Even though she hadn’t meant to shy away from Santana, Quinn couldn’t help but feel bad. Either she was the best actress in the world, or Santana really was hurt by her rejection.]

Doesn’t mean I still can’t be sorry. 

It’s a wedding. Doesn’t matter how I feel about you. I’d like to at least have some control over my own actions at a public event. But instead I continuously find a way to draw attention to myself.

[The guards had backed off, clearly seeing that the moment - whatever it was - had passed and that there was no imminent threat of Quinn flipping out and hurting anyone, herself included. She sighed and looked between the bread and Santana, before carefully reaching for the piece resting on the table. Picking it up, she ripped off a chunk and ate it slowly, savouring the flavour.]

It was…beautiful. They clearly love each other. 

[sietana]

[The look on Quinn's face as she spoke didn't help matters much, but all Santana could do was nod at the girl. She knew that an apology coming from Quinn was still progress itself, and she was glad that she was starting to see something coming from Quinn. Something human and something recognizable. But she dared not say that out loud and instead she listened to Quinn as she began to explain that she'd like to have some control over her actions.]

I get it, but you can't really blame them for constantly watching you. I mean, look at you, you draw attention just by breathing.

[Pausing, Santana realized that the compliment may have been too much so she quickly looked away and scolded herself for saying that. While it was the truth, she knew that it could have disastrous results and she hoped that Quinn wouldn't hate the compliment.]

You have to be hopelessly in love to even consider going through with such a pointless ceremony like a wedding.

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

[Santana really did have a beautiful smile, Quinn thought to herself before catching herself and shaking her head to clear the thought. Whether she could be trusted was still to be determined, but until then thoughts like that would only get Quinn in trouble. Her eyes followed Santana’s gaze and she let out a smile smile.]

Believe it or not, but I’ve seen worse. And after the games…this is more food than I could ever ask for.

[As the thought of the Games crossed her mind, Quinn visibly flinched and shrank back from Santana, unable to take the offering. It was all still so fresh in her mind. The guards behind her took a step towards her and Quinn let out a deep breath and tried to relax again.]

I’m sorry…I…I can’t. 

[sietana]

[Santana should've known that Quinn wouldn't have taken the offering of bread, and yet she tried it. Why didn't she realize that it was a risky move before doing it? Regardless, she withdrew her hand and looked at Quinn solemnly.]

You don't need to be sorry. I overstepped my boundaries.

[Glancing down, Santana tried to keep herself from looking hurt at Quinn's refusal. She knew why the girl refused, but she couldn't help but still feel a little sting at the rejection. Taking a deep breath, she glanced at the guards that were looking at their exchange carefully before placing half of the bread on the table, pulling off a piece from her own half and popping it into her mouth.

As she chewed on the piece of bread, she tried to think about something else she could do to try and rebuild the connection the two had shared before Quinn's stay in the Capitol.]

So... How did you like the ceremony?

[sietana]

F2F

[defiantfabray]

[Despite her initial reluctance to even leave her cell, Quinn found herself enjoying the wedding. They might’ve been living as efficiently as possible, but somehow the occasion still felt special and almost as if District 13 had pulled out all the stops for it. No longer dressed in the rags she’d been in since arriving from the Capitol, Quinn was wearing a nice dress that had obviously belonged to someone both a little shorter and less toned than her. It was a tight fit and it had obviously seen better days, but to Quinn it might as well have been a ballgown.

As the couple kissed, Quinn found herself looking over to Santana. While she’d been practically forced to attend - something about it jogging her memory and it being good for her to be out in a place with people she knew - she was still being supervised by an arm guard and for because of that, the rebels had decided to put her in the back so that she was less conspicuous. Still, what was the point in her being there if she couldn’t be around the very people that were supposed to be helping her. Even during the reception, she had to hang back and watch her old allies from afar. It definitely did nothing for her trust issues. But just when she was about to ask if she could return to her cell, Santana walked right up to her.]

I uhh…it’s definitely a change of scenery. Not my thing though. I’m just here for the free food.

[She was surprised to see Santana, but then of all the people that would have approached her, it was always going to be the girl from Seven. The one person Quinn trusted less than anyone and the only person that was consistently coming to see her. Either she was playing a very long game or there was truth to what everyone was saying about the Capitol. All Quinn knew in that moment though, was that Santana seemed to be the only person who was willing to talk to her at an otherwise boring reception and she wasn’t about to turn down company.] 

[sietana]

[Santana could tell that Quinn was wary about her presence there, but she was glad that her words didn't seem to bring about an undesired effect in the blonde. With a small smile, Santana looked at the table full of food and she chuckled.]

Then I guess you'e disappointed, 'cause I got to say, for a wedding, they could've done a lot better.

[Reaching down, Santana grabbed a piece of bread and tore it in half, offering one piece of it to Quinn while holding onto the other. She looked at the blonde carefully, wondering if she would end up hating the offer or not.]

But it's good to see you.

[sietana]

F2F

[It was the day of the wedding between Finnick and Annie and, despite Santana's protests and disapproval of the event, she had dressed up the best she could and headed for the wedding. Everyone was happy and excited about the nuptials and Santana merely just stood there, dissatisfaction on her face throughout the entirety of the event. Of course, by the time the ceremony finished and they moved to the reception, she got asked why she was there if she wasn't enjoying herself, and Santana had one reason and one reason alone for being there. Quinn.

The girl had had difficulty grasping what was real and what wasn't, and Santana was respecting the boundaries that the blonde had put up for her, but she'd be lying if she said it was easy. All she wanted to do was pull Quinn into a hug and tell her that everything would be okay, or knock some sense into her (sometimes both at the same time), but she knew that she couldn't. Thankfully, the wedding allowed the brainwashed tributes to attend in hopes that it would lighten up morale and, even though guards surrounded the blonde, after talking to Tina, Santana headed for the girl from District Two]

Enjoying your vacation from the barred windows?

[Keeping her tone light, Santana hoped that the joke wouldn't have set anything off within the blonde, and she kept her gaze from resting on the girl for too long. She knew that any thing the girl could do could set Quinn off and make her want to rip out her throat, so she tried to keep things easy and light, wanting to get as much time with the blonde, outside of her cell, while she could.]

[sietana]

So freaking charming.

[cuatroevans]

So you’d just like lose them instead of getting married? As long as I don’t trip on her dress or anything I think it could work out okay. 

[sietana]

If they can't deal with me or my beliefs, then they wouldn't have been worth the effort, anyway.

[sietana]

So freaking charming.

[cuatroevans]

Fair enough. I mean, I guess as long as they’re cool with it, that’s all that matters. I kinda feel like Rachel wants the big ceremony and stuff - or at least the old Rachel did. I’m still trying to get to know the new one.

[sietana]

Mm, that's right. And if they aren't cool with it, they can just deal with it. Trust me, that one doesn't surprise me. At all.

[thegirlwithwire]

F2F || Santina

[thegirlwithwire]

I don’t know what would be better, honestly; him feeling the same way, or him not. But I suppose I’ll cross that bridge only if I have to. Thanks for the luck. And for everything. You deserve to be happy, too.

[sietana]

Whatever happens, happens. You can't really change it, no matter what it is. I wouldn't say that, but it's not something I'm worrying about. At least not now.

[thegirlwithwire]

F2F || Santina

[thegirlwithwire]

It’s interesting, and above all, I like being fascinated. And, sister to sister, you helped me realize that things are fine the way they are. If I said anything to him, it’d probably just make things awkward since he probably doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t want to risk it. He’s one of the people that makes me the happiest, and like you said, you have to keep whatever happiness you can get in this world.

[sietana]

Mm, I always knew that you were a smart girl. But if you ever do decide to tell him how you might feel, good luck. You deserve to be happy, Tina, after everything you've been through.

[sietana]

So freaking charming.

[cuatroevans]

Guess you better hope they really love you, then.

[sietana]

Like I said, I don't need a piece of paper to say that I'm going to stick with someone for the rest of their life, no matter what. They'd know that before they even thought about falling 'cause I keep it real and they'd see that I've done that, without a pointless ceremony.

[thegirlwithwire]

F2F || Santina

[thegirlwithwire]

He just thinks about things differently is all; it’s actually quite fascinating, but I won’t bore you by going on about his good qualities. I want to thank you for keeping it real. It may have helped me reach a decision. Maybe.

Well, you succeed.

[sietana]

Well, the way he thinks about things is definitely questionable, but I definitely appreciate you not going on about his good qualities because I would definitely be bored by that. Oh? And what might that be? You know, sister to sister.

[sietana]

So freaking charming.

[cuatroevans]

Yeah, but I’m not the same person now that I was then. I just - I feel different. I don’t think I’d do the same things I did then now. So if you wanted someone and they wanted it you still wouldn’t do it?

[sietana]

Nope, not even then.