THEY’RE CREEPY AND THEY’RE KOOKY.
↳ a collection of lines from the first season of netflix’s wednesday. these are in no particular order and will contain spoilers for the show. some lines have been edited for clarity or to give options.
“those are all traits of great writers. and serial killers.”
“the first boy/girl/person i kiss would turn out to be a psychotic, serial-killing monster.”
“how do you feel about scary movies?”
“we work. we shouldn’t, but we do.”
“hummers stick together.”
“being your friend should come with a warning label.”
“you giggle when you text, which is a 24/7 addiction.”
“[name], the mark you have left on me is indelible.”
“i act as if i don’t care if people dislike me. deep down… i enjoy it.”
“are you really going to make me ask?”
“i want to assure you i remain as cold and heartless as the first day we met.”
“i’ll survive alone. i always do.”
“as soon as the dirt hits the coffin, i’m out.”
“[name] always looks half dead.”
“i actually fillet the bodies of my victims, then feed them to my menagerie of pets.”
“if you need me for anything, anything at all, i’m only a crystal ball away.”
“everyone would know i failed to get the job done.”
“not hugging is kind of our thing.”
“the only person who gets to torture my sibling is me.”
“you guys are making me nauseous. not in a good way.”
“my personal philosophy is kill or be killed.”
“you growl in your sleep.”
“i don’t know who etsy is, but i doubt she was an outcast settler.”
“if i am the monster, then why haven’t i killed you?”
“for some reason i cannot fathom or indulge, you seem to like me.”
“seriously, you could cut the tension with an executioner’s axe.”
“i’m not friend material, let alone more-than-friend material.”
“i will never fall in love, or be a housewife, or have a family.”
“i swear on my late scorpion’s soul, my hands are clean.”
“they couldn’t even spring for real pig’s blood. it’s only paint.”
“you know the old saying: never bring a knife to a swordfight. unless it’s concealed.”
“they want to turn me into a version of herself.”
“i find social media to be a soul-sucking void of meaningless affirmation.”
“it takes a special kind of stupid to devote an entire theme park to zealots responsible for mass genocide.”
“emotions are a gateway trait. they lead to feelings, which trigger tears. i don’t do tears.”
“you’re really bad at cheering people up.”
“this reminds me of when you got your first grave-digging kit. you were so happy you nearly smiled.”
“there’s that biting sense of humor that i always adored.”
“if he breaks your heart, i’ll nail-gun his.”
“why would i share information about an ongoing investigation with a high school kid?”
“don’t you want eyes and ears behind those ivy-covered walls?”
“did you think i was going to judge you over some lousy prank?”
“i consistently stalk my parents.”
“i brought my pocket mace. the medieval kind.”
“it’s not my fault i can’t interpret your emotional morse code.”
“there’s nothing quite like the feeling of being proven right.”
“i’d rather stick needles in my eyes. i’ll probably do that anyway.”
“if you hear me screaming bloody murder, there’s a good chance i’m just enjoying myself.”
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