âł lines taken from lydia night's debut album, parody of pleasure. some edited for clarity and flow. trigger warnings for discussions of mental health, eating disorders, self harm, and sexual content.
"i love the way i really hate myself."
"i profit off a lack of mental health."
"my mood shows up on a conveyor belt."
"it's crushin', my guts are on the floor."
"i said i wanted to get a normal job."
"i romanticize a life I think i want, until i'm handin' you the bill."
"you say you used to like my band."
"am i a name that you'll remember?"
"it's all just a pity party, oh, what a joy, what a crowd."
"i'll tell you i'm oh so sorry, 'cause it's embarrassing now."
"it's a parody of pleasure, lips big and red like a clown."
"it's all just a pity party, so cry for me or gĐľt out."
"it's crazy how i almost died this year and now i'm shotgunnin' my very first beer."
"and dad keeps telling me that his end is near. am i dying, waiting for him to die?"
"i'll starve my body for the seventeenth time, said i ate my lunch, what's another lie?"
"i'm over being mediocre."
"i wanna be smaller and smarter, or just okay."
"i hate that i keep pushing friends away."
"i'm all or nothing 'til i'm alone and gray."
"am i missing something? are you scared to stay?"
"can you come over and make me feel like shit?"
"i promise that i won't cut my arms, 'cause I'm so sick of having long sleeves on my body."
"i'll throw a pity party, so leave your problems at the door, 'cause it's about me until it's over."
"welcome to my pity party, gear up, it's gonna get loud."
"you see i'm getting angry, said it's okay to cry."
"thank you for your permission to let me use my eyes."
"you like healthy agression, so you feel comfortable."
"you've got a sick obsession, policing vulnerable."
"got too vulnerable, i'm out of control."
"i'm delectable, when i play the role."
"i'm not what you wanted, i'm not a prototype."
"i'm not saying sorry, never said i wouldn't bite."
"oh, i bet you wanted something that you could tame."
"what happens when i win at your bloody game?"
"i'm in the open and you're on thĐľ hunt."
"she's so outspoken, that stupid cunt."
"you found me hĐľre in the dark, feeling so big in your fancy car."
"i'm frozen in your headlights, run me over, what a sight."
"where you gonna hide from a little deer?"
"i told you that i wouldn't ever be some piece of meat, so i'm not sorry now that you're here, begging on your knees."
"you're obsessing, don't really care."
"kind of average, i'll play it fair."
"i'm not invested, but i'll see where this ends."
"can't hurt to try it, we could always be friends."
"watch out baby, record shows, i set a time and that's how it goes."
"i got bored, take off my clothes."
"fine, i like youâwait, where'd you go?"
"oh, baby, that kinda hurt. i was supposed to pull up the hearse."
"wow, baby, i'm in the dirt, i was supposed to break your heart first."
"i didn't like you... okay, a little."
"but just enough to meet you in the middle."
"i wasn't gonna be the one to get screwed."
"i was supposed to be the one to ditch you."
"path set, pedestal, everything's clear."
"guard down, blink once, you disappear."
"how'd we switch up? you were so weird."
"should let it go but my ego's in my ear... him? really?"
"i'm just pissed you get to say that you're the one that walked away."
"i should have laughed when you said hey, but i compromised, that's my mistake."
"am i the sun, your moon and your stars?"
"call me the muse that you need for your art."
"you're not possessive, do you like me enough?"
"a sick obsession, if you're calling it love, where's the bomb?"
"where's the sweet talk, heart drop, cleaning up the aftershock, do you love me, love me not?"
"do you love me, love me not?"
"my therapist likes you, but what does she know?"
"we seem so healthy, so I don't feel well."
"i want the kind of love that takes me to hell."
"i want some roses on the bed."
"i want a puppy at the door."
"i want a text you've never sent."
"i want you begging on the floor."
"i want love letters, analog."
"i want the U-Haul with your stuff."
"i want you crying to your mom."
"you can't believe you're so in love."
"i can't seem to get my mind out of the gutter."
"i'm likin' your shirt, but i wonder whatâs under."
"you're stepping real close and i'm feeling the thunder."
"where should we go to rip the clothes off each other?"
"your lips look like cherries, your touch feels like butter."
"i'm feeling like prince, i wanna be your lover."
"we could be spies, we could go under covers."
"i'm watching while you talk, but i can't even listen."
"i think i need a walk, or just an intermission."
"i'm here at thĐľ gate and i'm pressing your buzzer."
"where do we start? there's so much to discover."
"i think about you in the worst ways."
Oh, baby, you would never guess
"my mind is busy tracing places from your back up to your neck."
"it's kinda like you're talking dirty, even when you say hello."
"sorry if i'm being flirty, i can't help it i suppose."
"let's make a girl to run the world. she'll sing on stage with graceful rage."
"put her on a tour bus, then teach her how to yell "thank you, new york"
"thenâputâherâon a TV,âhave her sellingâpills, the skinny cure... they told me i'm the one."
"take my body, take all the air i breathe, can't help myself, but be a player on the team."
"i'm a lion you want, but only in a cage."
"can't help myself but be a puppet on your stage."
"what kind of hair? "what kind of starĐľ? should she be nice or cold as icĐľ?"
"build me like a barbie, then take me to a lobby in new york."
"i'm gonna be the perfect star, they're sure, it's better if you're dumb."
"take the things you want and burn the rest."
"what do i know? i'm a pretty mess."
"move my mouth and swing me with a string. dancing, laughing, smiling while i sing."
"will you save me? 'cause I'm breaking."
"one step closer to the edge, don't test me.
"dug the dirt up in my head, it's messy."
"temper tantrum in my chest is the cherry on top, it's getting scary."
"you say one wrong thing and i'm locking up my doors."
"i don't wanna talk about it, i don't like you anymore."
"you do one dumb thing and i'm biting off your hand."
"i'm so over understanding, rest in peace the bigger man."
"so, can a girl just have a meltdown?"
"i just wanna do some shit that's petty."
"burn my image 'til i quit, i'm ready."
"block the ones that care the most, i think they hate me."
"call me, baby, whĐľre'd you go?"
"you say one good thing, and i'm running from the house."
"i don't wanna let you in, i just wanna let you down."
"you've got something in your eyes, i think it's my demise, but i'm crazy for ya."
"got that feeling in my gut, the one i never trust, keep it quiet for ya."
"you're at it again, talking shit about a friend, but i'll keep on playing pretend that i'm different, that we're different."
"you wouldn't catch me in a trust fall."
"you'd bring a gun to a fist fight."
"i hear my name behind a thin wall, you'd sell my secrets for the right price."
"you wouldn't catch me in a trust fall, but i still hold you on your bad nights."
"i always pick up on your first call, you take my picture in the worst light."
"how's it feel to hear me out, then twist it all about, got me questioning myself."
"you like to kick me when i'm down."
"you got too drunk at the bar and now you're slurring up your words, at least now I know the truth, guess it's better."
"but it hurts when I lie to myself, i'm playing with my mental health."
"i wish i didn't wish you well, 'cause you didn't, and you don't, yeah, you wouldn't."
"even when i said i wouldn't, i don't walk away, i couldn't."
"even though i said i shouldn't, i would catch you in a trust fall."
"don't wanna be with someone seriously, i wanna flirt, i wanna dance, i wanna make out with my friends."
"but when you look at me like that, i can't help but wonder if i even want the things i just said i wanted."
"you've got me down bad, you've got me picturing a life with you."
"you've got a smile that i wake up to, just wanna be close to you."
"come pour the water onto my head, 'cause i'm too addicted, i'm too obsessed."
"i'm drunk at a party, pissed off my friends, 'cause your name just fell off my tongue again."
"i'm sorry, it's the summĐľr, i promised I'd be running around."
"i'm sorry, i'm such a bummer, thĐľ party isn't fun right now."
"i'm sorry, it's the summer, but i'm busy thinking this is the one."
"i'm sorry, i'm such a bummer, i promised i would be more fun, can't help it that i'm love dumb."
"i think i'm pretty smart until i have to read your texts. i'm on my eighty-second time, i'm still not getting what you said."
"some guy is tryna talk to me, i bet he thinks we're gonna fuck, but i just wanna text you back, so you don't think i suck."
"i really thought that was the one, but now it's fall, and now we're done."
"all my friends are making fun, can't help it that i'm love dumb."
"i'm a loaded gun when i have my fun."
"i'm aâ
love matador, i'll leave you shaking onâ
the floor."
"i wrote down that shit you said, you know, theâthingsâyouâfear alone inâbed."
"you won't seeâit if you play nice, i'm like sugar, until i'm spice."
"a crowd pleaser, they need a show, a love song's just a seat on death row."
"wake up, you'll wanna hear this mess."
"i dance with demons in my head."
"you've never seen me seeing red, come a little closer now."
"you better hide out, 'cause now you'rĐľ found out, you're gonna cry like a bitch."
"you know, i wasn't born this way, shit changĐľd at the first heart break."
"he called it off, i sang his name, i was fifteen when i learned this game."
"when a lover turns to stone, you can use the dust to make 'em choke."
"they pray to burn the words i wrote, too bad, too late, you all already know."
"i got a bullet in my pen, the page is full of blood again."
"i saw your pictures from a photo booth and freaked out, 'cause all the promises when we broke up are over now."
"a new girl on your arm, you didn't hesitate."
"i tried to break my phone, go on a cleanse and meditate, but, can't even blame you though, she's fucking beautiful."
"she's on a billboard on my street, it's pretty comical."
"they're saying "get up, girl!", heartbreak should never show."
"they called my feelings on the Internet a clown show."
"see, what they don't know is [insert secret]."
"you're addictĐľd to the commitment, i just played a part in your mission."
"you find joy and purposĐľ in women, should have seen it from the beginning."
"you like a bad love, a good love, an old love, until a new love, you're never alone, love."
"you like distraction, you're drunk on attraction, a chameleon for love."
"you used to say you wanted me to be your baby's mother, but if you're coming from behind, i guess it doesn't matter."
"does she like sleeping in the bed i put our sheets on?
"does she like eating at the table that we fucked on?"
"can't even blame you though, she's fucking beautiful
"she's on the website where i'm buying all my favorite clothes
"thought I liked all your music, thought i wished you the best
"thought you were memorable, but now i'm starting to forget... wait, who are you?"
"i know i'm twenty-three, but i've heard about a time when a gentleman existed, but something happened to that kind."
"now we're handed lesser evils. we're saying shit like, "yeah, he's fine."."
"talk about a man like a mcmuffin, i really like him when i'm high."
"where'd they go? the ones holding doors open, it's on the nose."
"where'd they run? i'm sick of all the ones using my time just for thĐľir fun."
"i'd rather lose a limb beforĐľ i kiss another loser and i can tell you're just another spit after you chew her."
"i'm done throwing my heart around, i'm cruising for a bruising."
"i'd rather die alone than ever with someone like you, sir."
"i had a type, but i burned it to the ground."
"went for the ones that kept me guessing."
"they'd pour a drop and i would drown."
"i can't believe that i've invested so many hours into men who should probably be arrested. i'd never do that shit again."
"where'd they go? to tell another victim that she's young, but she seems older."
"where'd they run? hopefully to some deserted island with no one."
"i'd rather hold my pillow than you hogging up the middle."
"i'd rather break my back than solve another stupid riddle."
"lying boys will catch you like a paper in a fire."
"i'd rather die alone than with another nice trier, like you, sir."
"i'm so done. if you ask me on a date, i'll say i'd rather eat a gun."
"i'm like a river in the winter, with one touch you'll see me cracking."
"i'm like aâ
poet,â
who doesn't knowâ
it."
"i'm just an artist with aâ
star wish and a bitten tongue."
"you like my songs, but you're never singing along."
"used to be a natural, now i'm petrified."
"guess what? art sucks, but it's the only thing that's keeping me alive."
"let's get freaky, let's burn it to the ground."
"a complicated feeling, i'll turn it into sound."
"let's get freaky, i wanna get down."
"i won't play easy, addicted to it loud."
"i'm like a puppet, but not a muppet, i've got some pretty little feathers, but no tv show."
"i think I'm funny, yeah, i'm making money, but i get dreadful and revengeful, and i'm still depressed."
"you'll hear this song, and maybe now you're singing along."