I understand being an eldest child comes with a responsibility to be a role model to the younger siblings and to be a child to be proud of for the parents. I guess this responsibility isn’t so difficult to fulfill given I have had enough accomplishments in my life so far which serves as proof. I made it into the best university in this country and I have been able to make myself available for my siblings as a support. I don’t see why I am still limited with what I can do for myself when I am obviously able to deliver?
My parents are so strict and are very conservative. I feel like I am always living behind a false image they wish me to portray. After getting a sliver of freedom from my parents’ grasp when I traveled to the capital, I admit I adopted vices my parents certainly disapproves. To make things clear, I like drinking. Smoking is also a form of escape for me. Why do they have to condemn all of my progress just because I drink and smoke? Is it because it isn’t so ladylike? Bitch this doesn’t define what I can do and what I will reach. I am so sick of lying all the time just to dodge my parents’ scrutiny and scolding.
I am writing this out of spite and I know it still sounds like my fault. And I admit it is. But for once just let me live my life!
