An open letter to aspiring sugar babies.
(Multiple trigger warnings) What the fuck is that you are aspiring to be? Do you find it fun having to be secretive in front of everyone you know? Do you find it trilling having to hide any gift that is obviously above you and your parents mean to buy for you? Do you like having to always be jumpy whenever you get a notification from your phone because it might be your sugar daddy and you don’t want to be exposed in front of your friends?
What is it about this lifestyle that entices you? It’s not the fucking around with men twice, three times your age now is it? Be honest with yourself for once in your life? Take away the glamour and romanticism that tumblr displays on a daily basis of what this life is about and just imagine for a second how your life will be altered after you decide to be a sugar baby. Regular 9-5 jobs will never be enough. Too much money ain’t enough money. These shoes are nice but the next season has already came out. Yes you went to the Caribbean but now you want to go to Europe. You got a decent sedan but now you want a luxury two door.
It’s exhausting. Everything has a price. Think about your hierarchy of needs pyramid. What’s at the top? You mental health? (hopefully) After that your family. Next, school? The next tier…lets say friends? When you add a sugar daddy to the mix 2 of the four on that list will be bumped down to make space for the new benefactor in your life. You can try to juggle it, shit we all try, but it never works. You will become distant with your friends and family, there is only so much you can fake until you just stop contacting them in general. All those gorgeous trips you went on, how will you explain that when people ask? Oh and people will ask. Your friends will ask, your extended family will pry, even acquaintances believe that they have the right to know what is going on in your life.
Money. Money honey. That’s what’s driving you, right babygirl? It’s all about the cash! Mula! Green. Bread. Dough. Cash money will make shit alright. You’ll wipe your tears away with a one hundred dollar bill. Wow. You’re so strong. You really told them! Go you! A real bad bitch. But after the tears have dried up and your false sense of confidence finally went away you realize that instead of going out on a friday night with all your friends you find yourself ready for a date with an older man. Something that is way above your pay grade, mental health and emotional stability.
Red lips, check. Smokey eyes, check. Little black dress, check. High thigh stockings, check. Black louboutins, check. In the mirror you stand, check yourself out! A real, live fantasy. Any old man’s dream. The stereotypical mistress, straight from the books. From your perfect frizz free hair, to the red color of your nails. One thing about yourself that you never noticed before to be different are your eyes. No longer do you possess that youthful sparkle. Which is strange you know, since you are young, but there you are, looking at yourself dead in the eyes and they are foreign to you. Bland. Colorless even. Two holes.
You start to ponder when did you become like this but then you turn around to the stacks lying on your bed. Oh. No one ever takes about the dark side of sugaring. Now the moment you believe you have found a sense of security and then your sugar daddy just dangles it above your head and makes you dance for your meal ticket. How from that moment on you see yourself doing the degrading shit you promised yourself you would never do.
No one ever talks about the rape that happens. Pushed on the bed, fully clothed, underwear ripped off, no condom. You cant push him off because he’s successfully put all this weight on you. Going out in public places where any one of your friends or family could be hanging out in. How will you explain to your cousin who that older man is that you’re walking with? Or what about when your sugar daddy is done playing with your body and blackmails you for the allowance he gifted you? What happens when your sugar daddy reviels to you that he video taped you two having sex and will release the video to all your friends and family yo enjoy if you don’t do exactly what he says. What if he threatens to kill himself, or you? Mind games. Manipulation tactics. Begging. Pleading. Black mail. Suicidal thoughts.
Every other man that you decide to become romantically involved with will become affected by your choice to become a sugar baby. You can never tell him of course of your secret life. You’re so ashamed yet you are still drawn to it. You still do it. Every relationship from this point on will have a barrier between it. It will never be normal. You have no one to talk to. No one will understand you, just pity you. You can make other sugar baby friends, but they are just the same liars, schemers and manipulators at you. You will truly be all alone in this world, but shit, at least you got that cash money, car, and birkin to keep you warm at night.
Don’t think you’re different, or that it wont happen to you. Don’t think your special or revolutionary. The only advice I can give aspiring sugar babies is never think you’re smarter than these men, always have an escape plan, and understand that you will never be the same after this experience.
-Signed a seasoned veteran whore,
P.S. if any veterans reblog this stating that it’s not always like that, you’re getting BLOCKT for your elitism, exclusion, privilege, willful ignorance, trivialization, and classism.
