silly little Drabble, gn reader as always:
"would you love me if I was a worm." Not a question really. The answer is set in stone, but to ponder and to know and be told are different.
"No what brought this on?" he smoothens out the papers lining his desk, rearranging the piles of work to be tackled. The seat of Divine Foresight is empty today, everyone has gone home except for the two of you. His favorite healer and your beloved general.
You shrug, closing your book and resting it on the side of the desk. "Nothing. Just some silly musings." Everything. Walls and stone whisper, the cyclones chirp the annoying tune as every other day before How he deserves better, how he deserves more and you aren't enough for a man as decorated as him. Then if you're seen as lower already, then a worm surely is more deserving, incapable of doing evil. If you were one, maybe he would entertain your presence for a little while longer. But it is just gossip, and you've long grown used to the ramblings of the masses.
"Just some silly question the others asked their friends, nothing more."
He hums, slipping out of his seat, closing the abacuses and sealing away documents and making his way to your side. Regardless of what others say, you've been steadfast, honest with him (enough to bruise his ego sometimes, but its nothing when he recalls that once, you were too scared to even hear his name) but rarely this... is it jealousy? you stare at him as if a single second you glance away he'll vanish into thin air. Jing Yuan gets closer, closer and yet your eyes dont move from his face, unwavering as he swears he can feel your breath against his skin.
"it wouldn't be you, though would it? if you were a worm." Would you be capable of thought? Emotions? of recognizing him in that state?
"I suppose," those eyes of his are no longer tilted in mirth and his voice rather solemn, as if carrying out a sentence. "if I had a way to know it was you, I would love the worm you." But would fate be so kind? Can it?
you scoff, turning away slightly but not far enough, for he can see the way your lashes tremble. You still haven't gotten rid of that habit, have you? Incapable of looking at someone in the eye for too long before your eyes strain and you resist the closing of your lids. "that... does it matter? It's just yes or no." But only Jing Yuan can give you such an answer, leaving it up to the dice that rules the world.
"it matters to me. if I knew it was you, I'd adore you as I always have, and like we have always done I will do my best to make it known how I cherish you. If not, I trust somehow you'll find your way back." Everyone has made it back to him somehow. Whether you still feel the same in the end, it hardly matters. As long as you know his affections persist.
Reaching for his hand and holding it, you squeeze slightly. His palms are calloused, a little sweaty. "okay." okay.
You're led away, following him out of the seat, and making your way to aurum alley. The artificial sky is being painted with dark blue and soft pinks and oranges, and the cycranes no longer hum pathetic gossip, but instead run their ads, matchmaking services, divinations and new restaurants.
"auntie, good evening. can we get... warm puffergoat milk, two songlotus cakes, a plate of tuskpir rolls and berrypheasant skewers..." A smile, and a practiced order recited over centuries. It hasn't changed since his childhood, and you doubt it ever will.
"spicy noodles too. a mung bean soda as well, a-yi." You leave your hiding spot from behind him, and the aunt running the stall smiles knowingly as she scribbles a little something extra onto your order (always more food for the little sparrow at home, who will have no doubt eaten his fill already, but a growing child always needs more, and spoiling him isn't too bad. Neither you nor Jing Yuan can deny his whims).
Jing Yuan makes a face at the noodles, but doesn't comment. It will not be for him, anyway. But then how will he kiss you later if your mouth is filled with the flavor of that hellish spice?
you laugh, "that will be all." and you place your strales into the small tray, always a little more than necessary, and you settle into a table with your beloved.
"perhaps I should get a kiss now, an advance reward before you eat that." he pouts.
"fine." this is why you always grab the corner seat anyway, because of these antics.
A curtain of silver hair, and the gentle warmth of the sun settles on you.
ah. he already had some skewers before this, didn't he--
my warm up for today before I do some other work... I wanted to write something silly for a change. it's no good for me to just be serious all the time lmao. altho it got a lil more emo than I wanted it to be... whatever. jy has a mind of his own and I just let him take over bc thats my fave.
