name: nixon steele
age: twenty-three
date of birth: 14 february
sexuality: heterosexual
profession: unemployed
relationship status: single
face claim: josh beech
i'm so sorry for the pain, sorry for the aches
"It's easy to look at someone like me and automatically assume that I had some kind of hard childhood right? You can't honestly tell me you're sat there and the first thing that went through your mind as I walked in the door was anything but something along the lines of 'poor kid', am I right? Sorry to disappoint you but I don't have any stories of 'Daddy didn't love me' or indeed 'Daddy loved me too much' to tell you. My dad left me and my mom when I was about eighteen months old but frankly I consider myself better off for the fact. If you ask me it's gotta be a metric fuck-tonne easier dealing with an absentee parent than one who stuck around but is a real shit-stick. Sure, money was tight around the house: my mom had me when she was real young so to say she was under-qualified for the general job market would be an understatement. Working nights at a bar down town, splitting tips on a good night and supplementing that meagre wage packet by working as a receptionist at the local dentist office, it goes without saying that we were hardly flashing the cash. There's poor though, and there's poor, I mean we still had a car and we could still afford groceries; there were plenty of kids in the neighbourhood who had it worse than me. It was only when I went up to high school that things started changing."
sorry for these moods i'm swinging, but i don't need your hand
"My mother and the rest of the family like to use the phrase 'fell in with a bad crowd' a lot when they think I can't hear them talking about me. You want the truth? I was the bad crowd. High school is when you finally start doing real work instead of pissing about all day and it turns out that the real work bored me to shit. I got called lazy and stupid by the teachers and it didn't take too long before I was out and out labelled a bad seed.After yet another admonishment in front of the whole class, one day I just lost it. Not in a 'grab a machete and slaughter fellow students' type of way, I just mean I grabbed my shit and got the fuck out of there. Walked all the way home before I realised my mom was still at work a few blocks away and I had no way of getting into the house. To this day I'll swear down that I intended to just wait for her to finish work and come home but the heavens opened and it started pissing it down. Having left my coat in my locker in my rush to leave, I had no protection until I reasoned that the car was as good a place to keep dry as any other non-option I had. In an effort to save money my mother only drove to her bar job and she walked the few blocks to the dentist's office, so there it sat, a hunk of barely held together scrap metal out front of the house.Getting in was a piece of piss; my mother is as scatterbrained as I am organised and had one of those magnetic key box things hidden in the wheel arch. A quick fumble above the driver's side tyre and I was in! Now, remember what I said earlier about being bored to death by the work at school? You may notice a pattern. So I'm sitting in the car, driver's seat, naturally, and I'm finally dry. The novelty of being out of the rain wore off pretty quick though and before I even realised it I was fucking around with the car, putting the key in the ignition, turning on the heating, screwing with the radio, trying out the blinkers: you name it, I probably fucked with it. Ten points if you guess what happened next. I mean, what would you have me do, be in a car, unsupervised, and not try to drive it? The thing about me is that I learn fast. Like really fucking fast. And once I've learned something I very rarely ever forget it. I'd watched my mother drive this hunk of junk for years so I figured I had it down, easy. I set up the car the way I'd seen it done a thousand times before and put it into drive. Getting it onto the street was a cake walk, as was driving to the end of my block. It was only as I approached the stop sign that I had the misfortune of realising that watching and memorising in theory is very different to practice. I had control of the car, but not of my surroundings and before I knew it, the people-carrier that I hadn't seen coming towards me was crunching into our car - the sick sound of twisting metal on metal echoing all around until the inertia ran out and the two cars stopped dead. No one was hurt; out of me and the soccer mom in the other car I came off worse with a slight whiplash but that was nothing to the tirade unleashed on me by my mother when she finally caught up with me at the hospital.You might think that I'd have learned my lesson but you'd be dead wrong. Out of everything that happened that day, the thing that is still the most vivid in my mind, even to this day, is the fact that I loved the thrill of taking the car, of doing what I knew could land me in serious trouble. The risk of getting caught was far outweighed by the thrill of the fact that I might get away with it. Okay so in that case I didn't get away with anything but it certainly taught me what not to do next time."
i don't need your heart. i don't need a parachute.
"By the end of high school I guess you could say I had established my identity. Take me or leave me, I certainly didn't give a fuck. Still don't. Over the years a few people gravitated towards me for whatever reasons. A few of them are still around now, but the majority just wanted to take a brief vacation from their own vanilla lives and test out a day or a month of mine. You know the ones, Daddy's Girl princess types who turn seventeen, get a nose ring and a tramp stamp and think they're suddenly some kind of force to be reckoned with. I can't complain too much, most of them are pretty eager to please in the back of their parents' Mercedes, but it's always short-lived: Sooner or later they get tired of being a 'rebel' and swap the Jäger for wine coolers, the leather for velour and me for whatever All American Asshat that came around first. Not gonna lie, there were a few feelings involved at the start until I got sick of being their vacation. After a while it became clear that something had to change and so I did. I stamped down my emotions and went from being the used to the user. It's not just the girls - everyone's out for himself so fuck it, so am I. You want dope but you can't pay for it? You can fuck me for it if you like, as long as you're a looker. It's not that I was ever sweetness and light, but I guess I embraced my darker side once I hit high school. I 'borrow' cars every now and again, I do a few recreationals, I sell said same few recreationals and I fuck around a lot. I don't lie to get women into bed and I don't sweet-talk them - what you see is what you get with me, I'm not going to pretend to be someone who wants to wake up with you tomorrow if I don't. I'm sarcastic, blunt, have a vicious temper and to be frank, most of the time I can be a real asshole but what do you expect? I'm an asshole surrounded by assholes, raised in the most fake city in world. Now we just have to sit back and watch it burn."