I Don’t Want The Void To Shout Back

they/them | dxed bipolar 2 | gay/nb | nyc baybee

[overheard-in-the-dungeon]

Odette: What is Donut to you?

Carl: The reason I get up every morning.

Audience: *oooohs and awwws*

Donut, at 5am bouncing around and pawing at Carl’s face: WAKE UP! WAKE UP! RISE AND SHINE CARL! WAKE UP!

[silver-esq]

“If you keep making puns we’re going to kick you out of our Vietnamese restaurant.”

“Do you mean you’re going to banh-“

*hits me in the head with a wok*

[silver-esq]

There's a fundamental difference between attic ghosts, house ghosts, and basement ghosts

Attic ghosts are friendly and well meaning but a little bit annoying with footsteps and stuff. They're always a small child or an old woman attached like an old doll house or something

House ghosts are people that died, usually violently. They can be a pain in the ass and keep you up at night and shit, or opening doors and turning lights on and can be scary but they're not usually harmful.

Basement ghosts are assholes. They're the ones that are like the old caretaker that murdered three dozen people or literal beelzebub himself. Always attached to some old furnace or a portal to hell or some shit. This may be a hot take but I don't fucc with basement ghosts like at all.

[silver-esq]

To anyone else that was ever described as an “old soul,” don’t forget to take your antidepressant tonight.

[silver-esq]

[silver-esq]

Well it's officially "Burn your bare ass on the 200º exposed pipe in your bathroom" season.

[scoutingthetrooper]

[silver-esq]

But I wear glasses this is awful I can’t see shit

[silver-esq]

[silver-esq]

[silver-esq]

THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT: “We have retrieved intelligent, non-human bodies from a downed aircraft of extra-terrestrial origin.”

Me, internally screaming but I have to get this motion done by EOD: Woah. *formats word document*

[silver-esq]

Wait I’m on tumblr now. Does that mean I can say “shitlord” unironically?

[heathertrash10-blog]

Reblog if

It’s 104% okay to come to your DM and just say, “Hi, can we be friends?” And then start asking you random questions.

[silver-esq]

This also applies to dungeon masters which is how I initially read this post.

[silver-esq]

[ay-gent-p]

You can confiscate photoshop from me now

[beacandy]

I’m laughing way harder than I should be.

Just…their faces.

[adachimerica]

when you’re diggin through ppls blogs and find stuff like this wow

[mamafriesmeal]

the internet is over

we can all go home now

[phineas-and-ferb-heritage-posts]

phineas and ferb heritage post

[silver-esq]

[silver-esq]

Bottomless brunch is the most cost effective way to get litty titty on the cheap. Plus the food is better.

[duckdotcom]

would you put a discarded fruit sticker on my forehead in whimsical jest yes or no

[the-dandy-liar]

Of course but id give it a kiss first

[silver-esq]

The forehead or the sticker?

[the-dandy-liar]

How would you like to find out?

[silver-esq]

Don’t threaten me with a good time

[the-dandy-liar]

Would you like to be threatened with a bad time?

[silver-esq]

I’m an attorney. I get threatened with a bad time for a living.

[the-dandy-liar]

Oh, well if thats the case a good time it is. Meet you at the local Wendys 😘