Silver & Lieutenant

Indie multi-muse RP blog. Currently editing blog info and fixing links. Only rule is respect my blog, I'll respect yours. Main Muse: Luu Hai (Trigun)

[silverandlieutenant]

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Meme Tag: Feel free to send memes at anytime. Just state the muse. Open RP Tag: Open to mutual. Wall of Text - No reason for this but fun

M!A and asks are always open. 

[silverandlieutenant]

[Chapter 3 has been posted. 

There is so much going on...but I’m....trying? For now this is the best I’ve got.]

[silverandlieutenant]

[While I’m not ready for group chats or even much socialization, part of my therapy is to get back into writing since that has been my coping mechanism for much of my life. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47317408

Might need to stay out of Gin’s head for a while longer. He’s not exactly healthy. Luu though has been scratching at the walls of my mind lately. Perhaps some hurt/comfort with a touch of softness will be better. I blame a certain someone for that and it will be very obvious to that person what this story is about. >_>]

[silverandlieutenant]

Once again I know I vanished, left all my chats, fell off the face of the earth...ect. At least this time I’m going to therapy so I’m not totally isolating? Even if at group I’ve been silent and isolating a lot there...

Well like a lot of shit is going on and my mental state took a big nose dive. Trying to keep a roof over my head is the biggest thing. I have a few options? Kinda? It involves a lot of phone calls and filling out paperwork and partly that’s what has landed me where I am now to begin with. People that I trusted to help me haven’t and my case worker has done so much to make my anxiety and depression so much worst. Speaking up has just made me feel ignored so that made me tank even harder. 

It’s just every time I try to say if something bothers me it just pushed aside or seen as not a big deal, and I try to say to myself that’s not true but the evidence makes that hard. So my solution has been to just...leave... Not healthy, I know, and it’s a terrible habit I have that those that have known me for years have been dealing with. Something triggers me, I shut down for months. Not just one thing, it builds up for a while and reaches a point I can’t handle.

I’ve been in a very very not good place. Well like...I’ve always been in a not good place but sometimes it’s easier to silence the thoughts. Then my safe space became a place I didn’t feel safe in. So feeling like I can’t say something or feeling like a constant burden to people didn’t help. That I bitch and moan without doing anything about it so people shouldn’t need to deal with that. And then I’m a shitty friend who can’t be there for others since I’m always too warped up in myself. People do help me, in the last year friends have gone above and beyond for me, but then I get into the cycle of how much I don’t deserve that and I do jack shit to repay all of that. 

I am....trying....and I want to write, I want to be part of the found family I’ve found over the years. But I can’t get over how much I don’t deserve any of it no matter who says what. So I lock myself away only making it worst the more I isolate. At this point I’m pretty sure I spent more time isolated from the RP community then I’ve been apart of it. Then that just makes me feel like a terrible toxic person to have around and the cycle repeats. 

This time around I am going to therapy, 5 days a week. (Most of the time at least.) But I don’t talk much and certainly not about anything deep. And when the people who should be helping me aren’t listening to me it just makes it so much worst. My case worker is a terrible human being and I refuse to work with them ever again. I’ve said I don’t want to work with them but I was told ‘they are one of the best’ and got ignored when I say things that are done, or aren’t done, and what gets said sometimes. If they had listen to me *months* ago and started paperwork then for things, I wouldn’t be where I am now. But no, they just kept pushing for things that wouldn’t help then say ‘well this won’t do anything to help the issue but here we’ll do this, the other stuff takes too much time.’ Like wtf am I supposed to do with that? If I could do this shit myself, I wouldn’t be coming to them for help. 

I also get real sick of the pity when I am clearly not OK at group, and people offering to hug me and I said no so they fucking grab my shoulder. I said don’t fucking touch me so you touch me. And don’t give me the pity or ‘it will get better’ shit. The fuck it will. It just makes me not want to say anything. But then if I go to group and do talk/joke/smile, people go ‘oh you’re better’. Like...no? Either I get pity and generic phrases and people ‘comforting’ me or I just treated like everything is totally fine now because I made a few stupid puns. It’s literally mental health group therapy people. It makes it hard to go and want to deal with all of it. And once again the whole when I say something I don’t get listened to comes up so why the fuck should I even bother.

I’m trying to get help, I’m trying to get better, but everything is falling apart around me and the people that want to help can’t do anything and the people that should be helping aren’t doing shit. I’m not OK. At all. My head is a very dark place. It probably would help to talk to people but what was my safe space isn’t somewhere I want to be, I feel like a burden and toxic friend, I feel ignored when I do speak up..... So I....don’t know what to do. Even when people offer kindness and comfort and love, I get so wrapped in my own shit that I want to tell them to fuck off and never log back into discord/turn off my phone. 

So that’s....my rant.... I’m lost, in a very dark place, and don’t feel like I deserve to come out of it. Thanks...for reading...? Guess I feel like people deserve some kind of bullshit explanation to why I vanished again. 

I’m sorry. ]

[rpmemes-galore]

Go on anon and send my muse a nightmare! Could be about people they love, people they’ve lost, events in their lives, irrational fears they have, or anything you want! 

[girlscoutofrp]

Reblog if it is totally, 100% fine to send anonymous comments to your muse pertaining to the events in your RP

( originally by imlostinthesnow, archived here)

[silverandlieutenant]

[I promise to be here this weekend. Last weekend was a little rough but I talked in group and working on it. Progress though! I only hid for a week and not months and I didn’t run away. Let me tell you that is a huge step. I’m working on it.] 

[seedsmothership]

Conard was a simple man and Rem wasn't for flashy things either. So he simply handed her a flower. Granted those weren't common in this land so it made it just a little special. "You make everyone around you bloom."

(Late) Valentines things || (oops)

@silverandlieutenant : Conrad

| 🌺 | "Oh!" Rem looked up at Conrad, hand raised but not having taken the flower yet. "How sweet of you, William..."

She gave him a smile, with a touch of gladness and... sadness. If things in this world had just been different... Rem took the flower delicately in a slightly trembling hand. She touched the petals to her nose and breathed in the soft scent. Something so rare in this sandy world that it hurt as much as it gave her joy.

"Thank you. Its such a rare thing... And I hope I can continue to help people in anyway that I can... Even you, William."

[silverandlieutenant]

“Lieutenant. I will only tell you this once. Harm my brother, whatever dimension he is from, and I will maim you. I already know from observation that his brother would not hesitate. I would dread carefully.” It was not a request. @insilentruin

╞ ϟ ╡ The very last person the Lieutenant wanted to piss off. Luu swallowed down the nervousness of having Knives scolding him. A threat he knew perfectly well would be carried out. Needed a moment then was able to get his head back on to bow.

"Yes, Sir. I will ensure no harm comes to him. Merely having...a little fun with him."

@insilentruin

[silverandlieutenant]

@numericalassassin​

「 🐍 」Without even introducing himself, Gin leaned in real close to the assassin just to whisper into his ear. “Hey, tha’ suit looks pretty tight. I was wonderin’ how ya get inta tha’. Can I start with buyin’ ya a drink~?”

[silverandlieutenant]

︽🚀︾ “I am proud of you, Vash. Rem would be, too. Don’t let them take away your spirit.”

[orangetintedglasses]

If you'll let me... I wanna save you, too.

indie Vash the Stampede of 2023's Trigun Stampede, cared for by Sketti. est. Jan 2023 // about. rules. verses. carrd.

[glassesandswords]

shut up shut up shut up everyone omg i can't believe what im seeing rn omg

[silverandlieutenant]

finncomet​:

☄️ Finn can’t hold back the combination of snort and laughing that ensues at Luu’s slapstick-level of falling on his face.

Though he quickly shuts up when he sees a weapon pointed directly at him. Yeah, even Finn knows he can’t outrun a bullet, but he can certainly try and dodge one. So he dives downwards, directly towards Luu’s legs, intending to tackle him and knock the guy off his feet all over again. 🌼

╞ ϟ ╡Finn was going to pay for that.  Expect the damn kid went diving between his legs, so as the gun fired it went into the ground. Then the gun went flying as he was tackled sending him flying backwards this time.  “I WILL SHOW YOU SOMETHING TO LAUGH AT, FINN!”

[silverandlieutenant]

hcsuffered​:

{ @silverandlieutenant​ }

     the day had dragged on a lot longer for his comfort, but while the ACHES AND PAINS from a winded battle persisted, mark took them as a sign that he could FINALLY settle down. entering his room ( though forgetting to close it fully due to his exhaustion ), he discarded the torn jacket to the side then began to fully undress himself. it was only when he unbuttoned his pants did the door open. “W-Wait! I’m not   ———   ”     the pair locked eyes for a brief moment   ———   mark could feel heat filling at his cheeks and ears   ———   before tadashi disappeared from sight. all mark could hear were QUICK APOLOGIES and hurried footsteps.

     “I… Tadashi!” mark called out in a slight panic, now clutching at his shirt to cover his large chest that’s hidden behind a comfortable bra. “It’s okay..! Just…Just knock next time, alright?”

{♙} In his rush to advert his gaze from his friend being undressed, the sculpture dropped and shattered. Small bits of it on the ground outside Mark’s door. It had been one of Mark in a rather grand dress, some details of it being seen among the remains. Tadashi’s own face turning a dark blue with his embarrassment. 

Pausing a few feet down the hall as Mark called out. Not turning back around but he called back. “I-I will! Promise!” But after a small pause words came out before he thought about them. “That’s very fitting for you, Mark. Really shows your curves.”

About three seconds later realized he put his foot in his mouth.

“I-I MEAN! DRESS HOWEVER YOU LIKE! IT ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD ON YOU!”

[silverandlieutenant]

numericalassassin​:

@silverandlieutenant from here

“Same as you I think,” the assassin hums, cocking their head at the human on the floor before holding out a hand, an offer of assistance. Granted their head is soon not turned to the man at all but to the Plant, distracted by the waves of thought they can just about touch. Caution of the other person there prevents them from reaching back fully; they haven’t been bold enough to approach a Plant yet and don’t quite know what the effect on their mind will be.

“Checking on the Plant,” they clarify after probably a slightly too-long pause.

╞ ϟ ╡Luu wasn’t very intimidating while on the floor though he tried to be. Once he was able to get a better sense of what was around him, he gave the figure another look over. As Luu sat up he made sure to put a hand on his weapon just in case. Whoever, or rather whatever this was, wasn’t something he could trust. 

Even if it looked like some lost tech of some kind...

The offered hand was ignored as the man got himself to his feet. “Someone covered in lost tech just so happens to be checking on a Plant. Then I can assure you this Plant needs to assistance of yours and you will leave so I can do my job.”

Always great at making new friends.

[silverandlieutenant]

finncomet​:

☄️ “Don’t need it to - I can do tricks.” Though Finn didn’t know what was happening, exactly, he hastily raised his sword to try and block what looked like a beam of light shooting towards him.

It pushed him backwards a great distance, causing him to lose his footing and fall harshly onto his back. 🌼

「 🐍 」Gin wasn’t intending to bring too much harm to the kid, just making a point. What started as a short sword extended many times it’s own length to keep Finn down. Then Gin followed it as it shortened to lean over Finn on the ground. Shifting so the tip of the blade upwards to press it to Finn’s neck.

“Where’s those tricks ya say ya can do~?”