SILVER_DAGGER IX

A poet, sometimes. A litterateur. A fan-girl. Lost in the Lakes

[silverdaggerix]

Asgardian Chronicle Interstice (Teaser)

“Tell me what you remember. Tell me who you are.” Wanda says, Zel closes her eyes and gasps. Are memories supposed to be this vivid? Voices bounced on her head, some that she could recognize and some that she cannot.

"So you're Zel? You're the one who casted this curse on me?”

“Loki is a Jotun.”

“Seriously? Why do you hate me so much?”

“Hmm? Maybe because you’re Loki of Asgard?”

“We’re exiled? Where are we then?”

“Greetings, my fellow Asgardian Royalties. I am Hela, Odin’s first born. Grazel’s birth mother. I’ve reached you to let you see the work of art I have made for Vanaheim.”

“Sigyn, what have you done?”

“No. No!” Thor. This man is named Thor, he was.. He was..

“I will kill you, Hela. I will cut you to pieces until you are sorry for killing my aunt.” Zel says through gritted teeth. Emotions surging all throughout her body.

“I’m sorry to you and Thor. I… I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“I’m sorry Zel. I don’t have anything to offer to you.”

“You’re more than enough, Loki. You don’t need to offer anything to anyone just to make them love you. That’s not love. That is begging.”

"Loki, why do you let your darkest shadows and intentions get the best of you again? I thought we're making progress, my love?"

"Maybe my darkest shadows and intentions are parts of me and I cannot avoid them, Zel.”

“Ah huh, okay. This blueberry shit is delicious! Where did you get it from?”

“Will you do me a favour, Jane?” Jane, the midgardian.

“Gladly, Sweetheart. Tell me what it is.”

“If I die in the war, take this ring and bring it back to Nari.”

She gasps and opens her eyes in a rush. “I am Grazel, Freyr’s daughter, Queen of Vanaheim.”

author's note:

hello there! I see you liked Tom, well maybe you can give Loki some love, too! This is my Loki ff, marvel ff, thor ff in wattpad. If ever it did caught your fancy, here's the link to it. Have a good day, love!

link to my profile --- https://www.wattpad.com/user/yggdrassillsmyth

link to the story ---

https://www.wattpad.com/story/298805768-asgardian-chronicle-interstice-hela%27s-daughter

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes (Chapter 6)

Awaken In London

The streets of London are busy and it doesn't take a half-asian half-german lady like Iris to know that this city is really different from the city she grew up in and the cities she had been in. People are busy with their own stuff but are still smiling. Flags of the United Kingdom could be seen anywhere and it screams affluence. Somehow, she knew that William actually fit in here.

So what brought her here? For one, it’s the second Friday since she madly threatened William in her home. He never came back. Well, she cannot blame him but she had been in a worse situation since then. She dreaded seeing him. She knew his address, for some reason, William told her that it’s only fair for her to know his address since he stays in hers in his rest days.

But she couldn’t bear to go to his address just yet. So she went into a street which seemed to be a local market selling goods and full of people exchanging pleasantries with their beautiful British accents. She was definitely in London, a train away from the Lakes she chose to live, if not, to die in.

"Latest, latest news for you to know your onions!" know your onions? She walks towards the man who sells tabloids and newspapers.

"What do you mean by knowing your onions?" she asks.

"Oh, you're not from here.. Are you? Buy a newspaper and you're gonna know everything in London today one-off!`` His accent was much thicker than William. Maybe because William is an actor and he flies everywhere so his accent changed a bit.

"Okay. I'll get one." she says.

"Great!" the man says, he hands her a newspaper and she pays for it.

She opened the neatly folded newspaper slowly and a face caught her attention almost too immediately. It was, of course, the reason why she went to London today, William.

Tom Hiddleston confirms engagement with actress girlfriend.

What the fuck did she just see? William is, engaged? So.. why.. Why did he.. What’s the reason he comes to her every Friday? What is the reason why he told her that.. He cares for her? Why the fuck did he told her that he loves her?

“Hypocrite.” she mumbles under her breath.

"Oh, you fancy Tom Hiddleston? Everyone in this city does. Well maybe not just in this city, maybe in the whole United Kingdom or even the whole world! Can't blame them, Hiddleston's a looker and he's bred with talent." The man shrugs. "His parents were–Lady, are you crying?"

She looks at the British man and her eyes widen as she feels tears stream down her face. She touched her cheeks and the warmth of unfamiliar liquid coming from her eyes surprised her system.

"I-I am crying?”

…

“Toxic shit.” Tom says as he throws his phone on the hotel room bed he was staying at for the night. It’s friday and he longed to go to the lakes where Iris was, but he doesn’t want to trouble her anymore. He touches the area of his neck where Iris threateningly placed her pen with blade and he chuckles bitterly.

“I bet that blade couldn’t even scratch me at one bit,” he says.

Three weeks. Three weeks that he hadn’t seen her and he’s already losing his mind. He loves her, he was certain about it and it was dangerous. He looks at the ring on the side of his bed and snickers. “Impulsiveness.”

He did not really propose to Georgina, but being the great artist she was.. She posted a snap of the ring using his instagram account. It wasn’t even an engagement ring. It was a promise ring, meant to be given to his precious Iris.

“Cairis Fliege, I see.”

He thought he was clever by not telling his first name, but one day, when she was preoccupied with cooking lunch for them, he curiously looked at the notebook she was carrying everywhere and there he saw her name. Cairis Fliege. Her coming up with Wisteria’s name was, however, brilliant. Whoever that was.

He also looked her name up on the web, it wasn’t hard to see her though. She was the top of her class until college and was famous for topping the National Exam in Germany when she was a highschooler. Her father was a magnate, owning the largest manufacturing company of scented candles in Germany, The Fliege Candle Works. That makes sense since her home actually doesn’t have many things but is full of lavender scented candles. However, her mother doesn't have any available information on the internet.

Why did she leave the life she had in Germany? She was a heiress. Well, he could tell that she was from a very rich family since her things at home are not for those who cannot afford it.

He heaves a deep sigh and stares at the ceiling of his hotel room and asks himself, “Now what?”

He wants to see her. No. He doesn’t want to see her, his heart longs to see her but his mind knows what she needs, she needs space and his heart just won’t let him give her that. He has a girlfriend, sure. But it was a publicity stunt. They were brought together by their managers and sure again, he fell in love with her. But that was long before she became a jealous and insecure woman that meddles with everything he does. He doesn't even have a personal space anymore. The place he considers his home was occupied by her things, her friends, her staff. And oddly enough, when he met Iris.. He felt home.

He turned his Television on and a live news was on. It was from a prison near his residence.

“Lady from the famous Lake District allegedly kills an American lady and does not deny it.” Tom reads the headline of the news. Lake District? That is where Iris lives. Is she fine?

“Good day, The Lake District psychopath lent us an exclusive interview. Let’s all watch.”

The screen flashes a woman in a green prison jumpsuit.Black hair tied in a bun in a messy way. Eyes staring cold in the camera and Tom’s eyes widened, he sat on his bed and his heart started beating faster.

“Miss Cairis Fliege, thank you for letting us interview you exclusively.” the reporter says. It is Iris. It is really her. What are they doing with her?

“Exclusively my ass.” Cairis says, mouth gaping open with a low laugh. “I would probably be told to do this once or twice more for other stations because you need people to be hooked in my case, don’t you think?”

“We are helping you to get a lawyer. This is an act of charity.”

Cairis folds her arms and Tom sees a bandage on her left wrist. What is that?

“Huh.”

"Did you really kill her?"

"Does what I say still matter?" she says. "When everyone of you already has an opinion of your own. You don't even have proof that I did it, yet you keep me here.." she looks away from the reporter, "this shitty place."

Tom had enough, he reached for his phone and dialed Luke’s phone number.

“Luke, I need your help.”

…

“What is your name?” The woman with brown curly hair asks Iris. She rolls her eyes. She had been like the 15th person that came to talk to her today and she is getting tired of everything. Her leap of faith happened to be inside this cell. The woman that saved her from suicide was dead and now she’s here, drowning by the urges to write on the gray walls caging her in.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know me when you’re here to write stories about me.”

“Well, darling. I’m afraid I went there because someone paid me too. I am not a reporter, just to tell you. I’m a lawyer. Charlie Gwyneth is the name.”

“Someone paid you to.. What?” Iris asks. “Who?”

“Sir Tom Hiddleston.” she shrugs. “I don’t know the story, but the next thing I knew was him calling me.. And asking me to take on your case. Which I will gladly do.”

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes (Chapter 5)

Dangerous Game

“Damn, I was so drunk Luke smacked the back of my head just to make me sober. You remember Luke, right? My publicist.”

“Yeah? The one who catches you when you’re too hard to handle even for yourself?” Iris mocks.

Another Friday of the week. As expected, Tom came again. Except for now that he’s not an unexpected guest anymore.

Tom plays on the door of the shower, closing it and opening it again out of boredom. “Yes and no. I am not that hard to handle! You make it sound like I was a child that needed a nanny.”

“To me you are. Look at you playing at that sliding door. Isn’t that an act of a child?” she asks.

“Well, I am bored.” Tom huffs. “But anyways I danced so much last night that my legs felt like if they could speak, they would curse on me to stop.” Tom laughs. “But it was worth it, it was all worth it! The people are great. Aren’t parties really exciting though?”

“Congratulations on your award, William.” Iris says. “But could you move away? I’m gonna clean my bathroom.” Tom laughs. Iris was cleaning her house when he came without warning. She was cleaning the sink so he entered the shower just to tell her the things that happened in the after party of an awarding ceremony he attended last night. He did have a lot of stories to tell and he's good company and all, but Iris couldn’t sympathize with his liking for dancing.

“You don’t look like you’re listening to me and my stories don’t catch your interest at all, Wisteria.” Tom comments with her lack of empathy with his stories.

“Well.. parties and dancing are definitely not my thing. My type of residence says it all, doesn’t it?” Iris shrugs. “I don’t even like booming sounds and music to begin with. I thought you’re starting to know me.”

“I do but Come on, don’t tell me you haven’t been to a party!” Tom says unbelievably

“I’ve been to a lot of parties, just to tell you and they weren’t the best of my experiences.” she says. “And those were the reasons why I refuse to go to parties anymore.”

“A bad date?” Tom asks curiously at her.

“A bad man.” she answers. “And my bad attitude towards him.”

“I could relate.” Tom shrugs. “There’s just a lot of them that I could tell you names.”

“Thanks. You mean you dated bad men, too.. Right?” Iris grins at Tom and the lad’s eyes widen.

“Hey! I’m a man, you mean lady!” Tom says as he grabs her out of the bathroom she was cleaning.

“What the fuck! You just stepped on the tiles I was cleaning and now it’s all dirty again!” Iris complains. Tom just drags her into her living room and she realizes just now, “What are you doing, dragging me all the way here like this?”

“I’m gonna dance with you until you see that I am actually a man!” Tom grins. He gets a speaker from his bag and plays a song, a love song. “Wait there and you’ll see that a bad memory is only a memory and it should not interfere with the present.”

“I don’t have time for this, William. I have a whole house to clean.” she says and attempts to live but Tom blocks her way and grabs her hands, spinning her around and she giggles madly. What the hell.

“William, dancing is a dangerous game!” she says, Tom just laughs at her and places her hands on his broad shoulders, he then places his hands on her waist of her cardigan. They swayed softly with each other’s rhythm, with the song.

“Don’t we all live for the dangers of life?” Tom grins. “Being careful is no fun.”

…

“I promise to come back next Friday, Wisteria.” Tom says as he ties his shoes. It’s already six in the late afternoon and he has to go. These lakes' roads are a little bit foggy at night so he has to go as early as possible.

“You know you don’t have to.” Iris says as she looks at him. “I like being alone.”

“I know that but I want to go here and spend time with you so no more resisting, okay?” Tom says with a grin. “Oh tomorrow is gonna be a typical day again. I wish I could live here.”

“I better make you pay for making my home your rest house, William.” Iris jokingly says.

“I’ll pay if you want though. Your place feels like home.” Tom shrugs. He stands up from her couch and gives Iris a long tight hug. “Thank you for today, Iris.

“Thank you as well, William.” Should she tell him? No. It’s still so early and.. She doesn’t want to see his negative reaction about it. Perhaps, they were just hanging out and.. Damn this dangerous game.

“I’ll be back more than you think you’ll notice.” Tom says with a huge grin. He lets go of her and kisses the back of her hand. “See you on the next dangerous day, next week.” he laughs and leaves.

Iris looks away from the door as the familiar feeling of panic rushes over her. Her chest felt like being stabbed again and she walked towards her kitchen to get water. She feels like she's being choked.

"It's nothing. This is nothing."

…

She went to the lakes as usual, with her pen and notebook. Although today, just like any other days from this week, she cannot continue her elegy. Maybe because of William's company, she's losing her purpose here and he is becoming her distraction.

She notices a little change with the frozen lakes. It is slowly becoming liquid again as the sunrise a little bit higher today. The winter is coming to an end and the bright spring is coming to action.

But what about her?

Why is she thinking of leaving William every single time she thinks of dying? What is her problem? Is she starting to feel feelings for him? No. That's something that she cannot do. She can't even cry for her own parent's death. How foolish of her to expect that she is capable of developing feelings for someone she barely knows?

…

(the next friday)

“Wisteria, I know you’re in there. Can you please open the door?” She stares lifelessly at her mother’s photo. You guessed it right. Today is one dreadful day for Iris. It is her mother’s death anniversary and it unfortunately came on the day of Tom’s visit.

“Wisteria. Please. What is happening?” Tom asks. Iris let the front door open, at least she had the heart to let Tom inside on a freezing day. But it is just one of those many days that she refuses company. Maybe because she looked miserable and she does not owe William a sneak peak on how pathetic she could be.

It was too late, all too late. Her wrists were slightly cut, because she was still not ready to die. But the pain in her chest won’t stop and physical pain is one of the few things that could stop it. She has her wrists covered with a scarf to stop it from bleeding. With eyes full of emotions, she stands up from the floor that was awfully clean for a depressed person. She opens her door and meets Tom’s worried eyes.

“What happened to you? I came three hours ago. Why won’t you answer me?” Tom asks, shaking her shoulders carefully.

“I slept in. I took that evil medicine last night.” She lies. Looking away from Tom “You need to go, I will clean the house today.”

“What’s there to clean?” Tom asks. “Your house is clean, as if you’re waiting for someone to come. As if you’re preparing for this day.”

“Excuse me? Are you saying that I am lying?” she stares dead in his eyes.

“Yes and you’re not very good at it.”

“How dare you!” she says attempting to walk away from him but he grabs her wrist, her wounded wrist. She groans in pain but tries to endure it as much as she could. She could never drag Tom in this game. She doesn’t want to become a monster even to him.

“There’s something that you’re not telling me, Wisteria.” Tom says as he pulls her hand, letting go of her wrists, refraining her to leave. “Tell me why you decided to settle near these lakes.”

Wisteria annoyingly looks at the man and her eyebrows raise in an attempt to stay sane. “Who do you think you are, bulldozing your questions into me?”

“Because I care for you, Wisteria!” Her eyes widen as he blurts out those words. “Those elegies, those poems that you write, are they really for your death? You mean it? It was not figurative or meant for anyone, it was for you. Wasn’t it?”

“Why?” She laughs unbelievably. “Do you wish to read it at my funeral? Are you a good reader? Do you believe in your accent that much?”

“No.. Wisteria. This is not the place where you belong.” Tom says. “There’s still hope.”

“If this is not the place where I belong, it doesn’t matter anymore. This is the place I chose to die! You’re saying that you care for me? Funny! You don’t even know my name!” She says as she walks away from him but he immediately follows.

“I won’t let you die, Wisteria.”

“That’s not my name!” She hisses. “You believed in the fiction I’ve written for you. I needed to die, so bad. I’m so tired, Tom! Don’t bring your need to help people like me here!”

“I don’t even care if Wisteria is your name or not.” Tom says. “I love you, and I’m sorry if I cannot let you go like this. If this is selfishness, I apologize.”

Her eyes almost widened but she looked down, composing herself. No. She’s not going to be a monster to William. This Dangerous game has to end and she knows that more than anyone.

She looks back at him with a wide grin on her face, face turning darker as she says.

“Love is a luxury for the weak. I refuse to become a member of this stupid club you want me to be in.”

“Wisteria–”

“Look at me, William.” She laughs. “Do you think I am able.. To love? I can’t even cry. How could I fall in love?”

Tom just stares at her. She grabs his arms and she somehow shakes and then she smiles at him. “I am not who you think I am. I am a monster.”

Tom didn’t know what to say. This Wisteria was a whole new person. The next thing he knew is that she had her pen on his neck, and her pen had a blade on it’s edge. Why does she have that?

“If I kill you here, no one will know.”

“Stop.” Tom says.

“Huh?” Iris smiles darkly.

“Stop this act. I’ll leave now.” He says, picking his bag off the couch and leaving the door. He left the door open and the cold breeze entered her home. She looks at the blade and tries to slice her hands with it but it just slides down. “Kill bullshit, you aren’t even sharp.”

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes (Chapter 4)

Fridays

Time really does fly so fast. Even before Iris could process it, Friday came so fast and she was surprised that she was still alive. She needs to finish the elegy first, at least. So that people will know a monstrous woman once lived in these lakes before.

She laughs at the thought of making herself a monster to be told to children at night as scary folklore as she stands on her porch. Ready to leave and have her daily walk to the lakes. What she wasn’t aware of is that someone is there, staring at her beautiful face as she laughs.

“I don’t even know what you’re laughing at but I’m happy you’re smiling, Wisteria.” She shots the man a glare as she realizes who it was, standing in front of her door. He was smiling. He was there, with his huge black umbrella that covers him from the snow falling briskly everywhere and his smile makes her blush. But her response to her heart beating a lot faster was really peculiar. Well, she wasn’t normal so we all get that the way she speaks is not what we all expect a normal person to say, right?

“William? What the fuck are you doing in here?” Tom laughs.

“I missed you too, Wisteria. Off to somewhere?” he asks. She hates the way he looks at her. So she turns her back and opens her door to go inside again, but he laughs and she stops, “so the odds are you missed me too much that you are angry I went back later than you expect so you’re walking out on me or you’re too shy and flustered to see me again so you’ll push me away.”

She looks at him again. “What kind of unreasonable odds are those?” she barks at him.

“Come on, I know where you’re going with that pen and notebook in your hands. Maybe I could give you some company today.” Tom says, hands on his hips.

Iris contorts her face. "What are you on at?"

"Aren't we close enough to meet on Fridays, on my day-offs? Because I still remember how you slept on my chest that day. How I put you to bed–"

"Oh, shut the hell up.. William!" Iris sighs. "Fine! But no talking so much!"

"Alright, I prepared food for you and me!" He says, motioning on his huge bag pack.

"Don't tell me you're planning to sleep in my house again. I'm close for the day." she says as she walks closer to Tom. Tom laughs as he joins the lady on her walk.

"Don't worry, I have work early in London tomorrow. As much as I want to be with you for the night, I can't." He says.

"If you're a busy man why go here on your day off? Isn't it much more fancy to just sleep on your home's couch to rest?" she asks.

"Unfortunately home is not a place, but a feeling." he says then looks at the frozen lakes. "There are plenty of swans in the lake today."

Iris's grip on her notebook and pen tightens. She had killed one of them days ago. She couldn't forget it. She couldn't forget how she felt nothing about it. She's a monster.

"Hey, are you alright?" Tom asks, looking at her. Her face became even more pale and her steps got a little bit slower and Tom was quick to notice.

"I am fine." she says with a deep sigh. "So what do you do?" she asks once they have reached her favourite pile of huge stones where she usually lays down to rest and write.

"I.. I am actually in the business of filming and movies." he says.

She looked at him immediately and noticed how his ginger hair turned black today. He has a gray scarf underneath his black leather jacket. Tom gulps. The way her forehead contorts and how she looks at him with so much attention is something new to him, she never even talked to him more than 30 minutes before and this is how he always imagined their next meeting would be. That's the very reason why he came back, when he left, she left him haunted. He could not take her off his mind, as if her joke of being a witch was actually real and that she was able to put a spell on him.

"So do you act?" she asks. Tom sighs. He doesn't want her to know her yet, does she even not know about his career yet? He likes this mysterious like-hate relationship between them but the truth couldn't be helped but to be prevailed, doesn't it? "I hope you don't suck at it."

"Hey! You're mean!" Tom says and the lady laughs.

"I didn't mean it like what you think I do but suit yourself." Tom also giggles with the way she laughs. Her smile reached her eyes today.

"I am actually great at acting, you know." Tom pouts.

"What a great way to express your work, William." she says. "But I hope you're not lying because that's the thing I hate the most, lies."

Tom looks away. Right. Lies.

"You're not gonna write anymore, are you?" Tom asks.

"I can't write with you here."

"Then you will not be able to write on Fridays then." Tom grins. She looks at him and squints her eyes.

"What?"

"Because my Fridays will be here, in these lakes, with you." Tom says with a smile. Iris' eyes widened with what he just said and her cheeks flushed red. Before Tom could even see it she looked away.

"Bullshit." she mutters to herself.

"So.. We don't plan to eat my packed lunch in the freezing cold, don't we? Let's go home and eat!" he says.

"It is not your home." she says.

"I know, well. I hope it was."

"You can take it when I die." she says as she climbs up on the man made road again.

"You're not serious about dying, right?"

"Right?" she asks back at him and the two of them walk towards her home again.

"Don't you like, have a phone or mobile phone? I've never seen one in your place." Tom asks.

"What a good way to ask for my number, William." she says and puffs a breath. "But yes, I don't use them anymore."

"What, why?"

"I'm here to relax, to find another purpose in life.. to.. not look at the world anymore." she says. "So why would I need a device that would remind me of the cruel world out there? I have my perfect wonderland here."

Her bravery to start a new life and leave behind what she has in the city she lived in made Tom admire her even more. Not everyone could throw what they have for what she is settling in right now. A simple life.

"So what do you act on now? Black hair suits you but don't get giddy about the fact I told you that." she says.

"Well.." Tom's eyes smile as he looks at her with those blue eyes. "What do you think I portray now?"

"A mischievous vampire?" she asks and Tom laughs with a high pitch tone that she looked at him in awe. She never thought someone could laugh that carelessly.

"That was so close, darling but no." he says. "Do you have a laptop, or a Television? I think I could let you see what I play now."

"Is the movie done?" she asks.

"Not yet, but I have stolen clips."

"I want to see it when it's done, save it for now." she says.

"Alright then." Tom shrugs. "I can't wait to make you eat my food! It's the best!"

They reach Iris's door and she opens it with her key, Tom walks inside and he breathes out. Home. Why does this place feel so much like home more than his real house?

"I'll just get things we'll need." she says and walks towards her dining area.

"Are you vegetarian?" Tom asks when he takes a seat on her dining table.

"No, why would you assume that?" she asks as she gets some plates that she had kept on the cupboard more than she thought she had.

"Your fridge does not have meat products so.. " Tom says.

"Ah, that. I just forget to get them sometimes." She lies. Iris hardly eats. She doesn't have the appetite to do so. Does a monster like her even deserve to eat leisurely?

"I'll get them for you. I mean, if you want."

"You're not always going to be here so don't worry about things like that. Just breathe in here, don't leave anything that will make me drawn to you." she says with no emotions at all. "Memories could be a compelling enemy."

"I know." Tom says. "So let's eat! Look at these sandwiches, don't they remind me of you?"

She looks at Tom and back to the sandwiches he had made.

"William, are those witches?"

"Well, aren't you a witch? You told me you could be one."

"Fuck you, William."

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes (Chapter 3)

She Was Once Happy

O’er the freezing land of isolation;

I forced disastrous grief out.

My hands grasp solitude with a greeting,

Not knowing they are not to be let in.

Iris looks at her table with her fuzzy vision. She just woke up and the first thing her hands searched for was her pen. Then it occurred to her, the next stanzas that were the perfect fit for her elegy. Maybe she realized a few things with Williams’s stay here last night. That loneliness is not usual for normal people and they would react negatively to it. Talking about that light brown haired man, did he leave yet?

She left her room with weak and small steps. It was nothing new, every time she drinks that sleeping pill packet, she would feel like she had a hangover from last night even if that medicine is hardly a liquor.

And he wasn't there. A part of her was relieved because she didn't need to say goodbye to him anymore. I mean, who does like goodbyes? But a part of her wished he could give her a little more company. Although the latter part was shrugged off in a minute.

When she sat on the couch, she saw a chocolate bar and a note that said, 'Wisteria, sweetheart. I know you' re not much for sweet things but here's one for letting me stay the night. I hope to see you in the future. - William'

"In the future, hm." she hums to herself. But then in a blink of an eye, her smile was smudged off by a memory.

A memory that she had and the only living proof that she was a monster, a creature incapable of loving nor hating anyone. A sociopath.

"I'm sorry, William. I guess there's not gonna be a future for us." she looks away from the kitchen where her knives sit prettily in their cases. "Please don't hurt yourself, not yet." she begs to herself. She then grabs her winter coat, notebook and pen and heads outside, towards the lake.

E'en strong emotions are not present in thy heart,

Inside your chest, in't was pain and suffering weren't there?

Made yourself believe you were numb

When the truth is you’re just oblivion to expressions

Iris couldn't cry. She just couldn't. So when these sickening feelings emerge in her chest which she suspects were called anxiety attacks, she just punches her chest as strong as she can. Making her forget the suffocating pain inside, but not for long. Somehow when she feels these feelings on her chest, she feels content and happy. Because somehow she was able to feel something even after her mother’s death.

She finished her degree in college. She obsessed on being the top of the class and she made it, she graduated with honors and became an industrial engineer, but after that, she lost purpose. She tried working, but her attitude does not fit a work with a team. So she tried to take over her family’s business, her late mother’s fashion line in Japan.. But her mother’s relative kicked her out of the company. Calling her a monster, the reason for Wisteria's death and a child that shouldn’t have been born. They gave her a large amount of money at least, a lot that she could live a fancy life before she gets to die and they get to find her elegy, if they even cared about her.

But the thing that she hated among these events was that she never felt anything about it. Maybe it’s better if she could cry, so that all the made up feelings in her chest will be freed, but she guesses a much easier life was not for her.

She finds herself spaced out on the side of the lakes, feet on the frozen body of water. If it was Sundays or Saturdays, there should have been people here, families to be specific and she wouldn’t be alone. Maybe that’s what makes her different from introverted people, she likes company, she just doesn’t like talking and socializing with them.

Why did she decide to move in here? Beside the lakes where almost no one likes to reside?

Because the last time she felt happy was here. The last time she fell in the icy lakes, got wounded in her hands and cried.

She was once happy and that is what makes her more miserable. She was once here with her normal looking father and kind mother. Playing around the frozen lakes with smiles on their faces. She was in love with the thought of having a good, complete and happy family and when they left her, her world crashed down. -

A swan landed in front of her and she reached for it. Petting it softly, the swan seemed to like her warm touch so she took her gloves off to feel it’s now cold feathers.

“But they were selfish, weren't they?” she laughs, asking the innocent swan. “Don’t look at me innocently, bird. No one’s really innocent.” she says, her teeth gritting in anger. “They left me all alone. My kind mother killed herself, leaving me to an alcoholic and emotionally unstable father.” she says. “He looks at me and slaps me, hurts me whenever he can. All because I look like Wisteria. He died in the end, just like her. They both made me suffer.” She was lost in her thoughts, but was then stopped from daydreaming when the swan cries.

“Oh..” she had crushed it’s neck.. She basically killed the poor swan, choking it to death without even knowing. “I’m sorry. I know, I am a monster.”

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes (Chapter 2)

Bubbles

“So.. are you an introvert?” Tom asks as the two of them sit on the couch in front of the fireplace. The night is getting deeper and the temperature is getting lower.

“Introverts like quiet spaces. I like quiet people, Wilfred.” Iris said as she quietly sipped on her black coffee. Tom shots her a stare and sighs.

“It’s William.” He corrects her. He bet she doesn’t even care that she got his name all wrong. “Where are you from? You’re not English, are you?” He asks again.

“Nope.” She simply answers. Tom could sense that she’s not the type to talk but, he really couldn’t stand the silence in this house. It’s going to make him mad.

“Are you from Asia?” He asks again. He scans her. She has a pale yellowish complexion and it’s not normal for English people to look like that so she’s clearly not English. Her nose is not so tall or long, just right.. She does not look like she was born for the weather here in these lakes.

“I am half Asian, half German. If that answers your question.” She says again.

“So you lived in Germany?” He asks again, she looks at him and smiles at him that makes him nervous. Her smile is peculiar, it was almost scaring him. Or was it her intention? To scare him until he does not speak at all? But there’s something that freaks him out, he doesn’t know if it’s her midnight black eyes or her smile. She’s just different.

“So you’re English.” she says. “You’re quite an iss-ue in my silent living.” She says, mocking his accent. She laughs, God. Was it the fact that she was always scowling that made her smiles and laugh so beautiful or was it just him? This place is making him mad.

“S-sorry.. But do you not know me?”

“I don’t know people.” she says.

“You’re very hostile, do you know that? Did somebody tell you that already?” He tells her.

“And you’re very trusting. What if I am a witch and I could eat you or make you an offering” she says and looks at him again. “ You could have died and no one will ever know.”

“Everyone will look for me if I die.” Tom says proudly. She was not able to say anything but she smiled. She envies him. If she dies, no one will even bat an eye. “You’re smiling weirdly.”

“You’re staring at me.” she says. He blushes and she notices it. “Cute. What are you, a teenager?”

“Not every woman could look men in the eyes.” Tom says. “You’re weird.”

“Or maybe I just don’t have anything to fear.” she shrugs. “When you lose your fears, you become bold and aimless.

“So why did you choose to reside beside these lakes? It’s cold out here, freezing and.. Silent.” Tom says. Iris grins, her smile never leaving her face. Something about her tingles Tom. Curiosity, that’s what envelops him now. He was dying to know what makes her stay in this place, alone and vulnerable. It’s not a normal thing for a normal person to do.. So it’s tickling his mind, making him ask such questions to the lady even if the reason could be personal.

“To die.” She says, still smiling. Tom was taken aback. It could be a metaphor, right? She’s not serious about that, isn’t she?

“Tell me those words were allegorical.” Tom pleads.

“No!” She looks away, eyes shifting to the furnace.. “I mean yes, it could be figurative but not really. I came here to write an elegy.. Or some sort.” she says, chuckling to herself. “But isn’t it beautiful, poetic and extravagant? To die in the silent sides of a freezing lake in winter time. It would become a great novel for litterateurs.”

“Elegy? Were you dying?” Tom asks worriedly.

“I didn’t say it was for me!” She lies. “But.. when I was younger, I was asked to write an elegy for a parent of mine and that piece.. I might tell you it's crap so.. I wanted to do better next time. Let’s just say I’m practicing.”

“Who practices for writing an elegy?” Tom unbelievably asks. “Weren’t that meant to be written with your own feelings?”

“That’s.. That’s the point! I’m deranged.” she laughs to herself. “That moment when I was asked to write an elegy for.. That person.. I felt numb. I knew something was wrong with me when I saw her lying on the floor with.. Dumb shit and.. I didn't even cry.”

Tom’s eyes widened with her confession. So something was really wrong with her. “The ability of feeling strong emotions left my body a long time ago and I was just.. Instantly cruel and fearless.”

“You were traumatized!” Tom exclaims. “Did you try to reach out to doctors or psychologists?”

“I don’t like to talk to others, let alone to trust them.” She says, deep and quiet. Somehow, Tom’s heart clenched for the lady. She was wounded but no one came to her aid. She was alone for so long and she embraced the loneliness like a partner instead of trying to shoo it away.

“But you were talking to me about this, why?” Tom asks, she looks at him and smiles again.. And just like her smiles a while ago, it did not even bother reaching her eyes.

“Because I’ve been fascinated by bubbles and I like the imagery behind it’s structure.” she says.

“Huh?”

“To me you’re like a bubble.. I see you now.” she says, moving closer to him and poking his arms, “but when I poke you like this, you will disappear just like how you’ll leave tomorrow and never come back.”

Tom stares at her as her eyes blink a couple of times before her head hangs low and she collapses on his arms. He immediately catches her and sighs. She was fast asleep.

“The coffee you were drinking..” he huffs to himself and stares at the packet or sleeping pills that he thought she dissolved in her coffee. “..is it for your insomnia?”

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes (Chapter 1)

Unexpected Guest

The Lakes (An Elegy meant to be never found) Written by Cairis Fliege

Adamant, proud to be exiled;

What was this life really worth?

‘Twas really awful to have remembered

O’ your demise that never left my wits.

“Excuse me, are you from around here?” Iris looks at the man wearing winter attire from head to toe. It’s not even that cold in the lakes today. He must not be from here. Well, she was just like him when she moved in here a month ago but she’s used to the cold weather now.

“Yes.” she says and immediately turns her back at him as she picks her notebook up and stands up from the rock she was sitting on.

“Rude.” the light brown haired man mutters to himself. Iris could actually hear him but was too pissed to care. She was writing an elegy, An important piece of literature that’s going to stay even with her death yet here he was, destroying the beautiful view and weather where she decided to start her piece after a month of staying in these lakes.

“Ah, yes. I am lost. Can you help me?” The man was following her and she could feel her hand grip on her ballpoint pen harder inside her pockets.

“Cell Phones do work here, stranger. Call 911 for actual help because there’s nothing much I can do for you. I am not a superhero.”

The man snickers and Iris was well aware of it.

"Look, I.. I don't know how to convince you to help me but--" he touches her arm to stop her, that made her body react to him badly. She flipped him over, making the tall man fall on the deep snow beside the man-made road they were taking.

"Don't touch me." she scowls. The man does not respond. She looks at him and crouches down. "Don't tell me you lost consciousness because of that simple self-defense, stranger?"

...

Iris was just looking at him for hours as the snow poured outside heavily. She was not expecting to have someone over today, or for the next few days or maybe even on the day she died.

"What a nuisance." she mutters under her breath and sips on her hot coffee. "Hey, when will you wake up? You sure are taking your sweet time here, aren't you?"

And as if the man really heard her, he shifts on the couch and looks at her as consciousness arrives upon him.

"What did you do to me?" he mutters under his breath. He looks around and notices that it was dark in the female's house. It was nothing fancy, her house was made of wood but the structure and interior design screams money. She must be someone that's making money really well. Why is she here alone in the lakes, then?

It was also awfully dark, maybe saying something about her attitude. She has a few candle lights on the corners of the room, making it’s scent functional in every corner of the room. Her house was awfully aromatized by lavender and Tom bet he could not forget this scent for quite a long time.

"For the record, you touched me first and I just reacted--"

"Violently." He says, cutting him off. He had an accent and Iris wondered if he was English. The man notices that the lady's accent is pretty light, she must not be from here.

"I.. I don't have any words."

"I am William. Thanks for bringing me here and not leaving me out in the snow." The man says. Still Looking around. This house does not have a lot of stuff. As if she does not plan on staying here for long.

"Wisteria." she says, lying about her name. "You could have died and I'm not a murderer." yet.

"Do you have no electricity here?" The man asks.

"No. I have." she says. "I just don't turn on the lights so that you will leave as fast as you can." Iris says as if what she said was something to be proud of. Tom rolls his eyes and then he looks outside.

“Well I guess I’ll be staying for the night.” Tom grins as he stands up from the couch. “You won’t mind helping a lost man, don’t you?”

“For your information, I mind!” Iris hisses. “But do as you please. It’s not like I could throw you away in this cold weather.” she says and walks to light up the lights. It’s getting a little late in the afternoon and the light outside is already fading.

“Wow, you do have good lighting!” Tom laughs.

“I only eat salads and vegetables. I don’t usually eat meat. Go and make yourself dinner. The ingredients are in the fridge.” She says, walking away from the lounge.

“Where are you going?” Tom asks.

“Getting away from you as far as possible? What else?” she says “If you need some blankets or pillows I have spare in that cupboard. Don’t look for me.”

…

9:36 PM, Cairis rolls her eyes and slams her ball point pen on her table. She cannot write anything. One month of staying in this quiet residence near the lake and all she had written was a stanza. Good gracious.

“Uh, hello?” there was a knock on the door and she needed not to guess who it was. Ofcourse it was her unwanted, unexpected guest. “Wisteria, are you still awake?” she rolls her eyes with the name. Does he really believe that name was hers? I mean, does her tender-hearted mother’s name suit her?

“What do you need?” She asks, making sure he hears her annoyance in her tone.

“Company? It’s quite lonely and cold out here.” Iris groans, it’s gonna be a long, maddening night.

[silverdaggerix]

The Lakes Teaser

The Lakes (A Tom Hiddleston Fanfiction)

Teaser

Warning: suicidal attempts, trauma, anxiety, depression. If you feel the way the main character feels, please message me for help. You are not alone. Get help, I am help, everyone here is help. You are valued. You are loved

“There’s something that you’re not telling me, Wisteria.” Tom says as he pulls your hand, refraining you to leave. “Tell me why you decided to settle near these lakes.”

Wisteria annoyingly looks at the man and her eyebrows raise in an attempt to stay sane. “Who do you think you are, bulldozing your questions into me?”

“Because I care for you, Wisteria!” Her eyes widen as he blurts out those words. “Those elegies, those poems that you write, are they for your death?”

“Why?” She laughs unbelievably. “Do you wish to read it at my funeral?”

“No.. Wisteria. This is not the place where you belong.” Tom says. “There’s still hope.”

“If this is not the place where I belong, it doesn’t matter anymore. This is the place I chose to die! You’re saying that you care for me? Funny! You don’t even know my name!” She says as she walks away from him but he immediately follows.

“I won’t let you die, Wisteria.”

“That’s not my name!” She hisses. “You believed in the fiction I’ve written for you. I needed to die, so bad. I’m so tired, Tom! Don’t bring your need to help people like me here!”

“I don’t even care if Wisteria is your name or not.” Tom says. “I love you, and I’m sorry if I cannot let you go like this. If this is selfishness, I apologize.”