“Cry. Forgive. Learn. Move on. Let your tears water the seeds of your future happiness.” ― Steve Maraboli Quivering fingers on my report card, hot tears rolling down my face; I was just so close. I spew outbursts of profanity, rip up sheets of paper on my desk, and play Michael Jackson’s “Scream” until the windows shake. Michael Jackson always makes me feel better, but today, it’s not working. Great, just great. I have to go to Chinese school. Oh, I forgot, we’re taking a practice SAT test today. I walk into class, obviously distraught. I receive my test, and all those Chinese characters seem to float off the page, their serifed tails scratching my brain like a million ants. My heart leaps at the few arcane puzzles I can actually answer. I hand my test to the teacher, who doesn’t even bother to grade it. “You can’t take the actual test. I hope you haven’t registered yet. Your fundamentals of Chinese just...yeah, you can’t take it. Go sit back down and review your vocabulary.” “Okay. Thank you,” I mutter. I spend the rest of class time thinking of the most savage lyrics I can remember. When class is over, I go back home and lock myself up in my room. But this time, my tears slowly dry, and the shadows underneath my eyes seem to fade. I tried my best at an A, and that’s all I could ask for of myself. Perhaps I could have spent more time perfecting my homework, and studied more for the final, but ultimately I would have gotten the same grade. A little voice whispers, “Let your light shine.” I crank out my Chinese vocabulary list, repeating each word. Because next time, I’m going to show the teacher, and myself, that I can take the test.
