the malady of death @silversoulmp3 - Tumblr Blog

I hope my piece of shit father dies soon

#i'm a little scared of saying it though because what if it happens tomorrow and then i'll feel like i caused it #.

I solved on exercise. good night. everything will go in my favor from tomorrow

I feel like we have less sex now and it's mostly me who initiates

#he might be holding back because for a few weeks in may i didn't want to at all but that was a while ago...#i don't get it #i want to feel desired like before #i've been feeling more insecure too because i gained weight :/#.

I have to get away

#.

I wish they would admit that their life would be better without me so I could finally kill myself

#.

I wish someone would help me but asking for help is so humiliating because I'm deeply ashamed of the way I am and my existence. I don't want to be perceived at all

#.

dogpuppy

#LOL #text

I'm so close to purging again just to harm myself and feel something

#i've been feeling very apathetic #.

365filmsbyauroranocte

Mirrored Mind (Sogo Ishii, 2004)

#film

not to mention that the atmosphere at home is really bad these days & I'm getting very tired of life

#i've been tired of life for a long time and i'm still young!#.

every single time after hanging out I can't even be fully happy that we spent time together because of the feeling the our relationship is doomed

#he insists we can make it work despite wanting incompatible things #i feel like this will just lead to a messier break up than it we broke up now or earlier #if*#.

dogpuppy

#want #img

installed a game I used to play again and I've been playing it all day instead of studying for my next exam. I feel like it's pointless because I'm too stupid and my brain doesn't work anymore

#.#it's theoretical computer science so it's a difficult exam to begin with #i just can't do it

exam in less than one hour i feel so bad

#not even revising what's even the point anymore #.

I really don't have much time left, I either fix my life or kill myself this autumn

#.

daughterofnature

L'Histoire d'Adèle H.

#</3 #there's not much time left #film

making myself sad and crying </3

#i was thinking about what it will be like when i finally kill myself #.

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the malady of death