all i ever wanted was someone who knows that i've been hurt before
and would rather die
than to ever hurt me like that again.

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@silverwritesstuff
all i ever wanted was someone who knows that i've been hurt before
and would rather die
than to ever hurt me like that again.
you don't cross my mind as frequently anymore.
i still wonder how you're doing but i'm no longer dwelling on the fact that i won't know,
i also stopped thinking if you cared to think about me anymore,
i'm accepting that you and i are strangers again.
there has been so much i could update you on, but now that's what this tumblr account is for.
being an introvert is realizing that your love with being alone stems from the idea that if you are alone then no one is around to disturb you, or to alter any of your emotions.
everything is up to you.
no one is there to misunderstand you or even judge you.
you can finally feel at peace.
if the process of loving someone is draining you, you're probably not loving them.
you're needing them to be something other than who they are and you're using the performance of love as a tool to get them to change into who you need them to be.
hey...
don't you dare accept the sick idea that just because you're good right now, something bad has to happen next.
the other shoe does not have to fall.
you do not have to crash.
evaluate and eliminate the self sabotage.
you are doing amazing already!
don't look down!
📢 huge shoutout to the friends who stay up all night just to talk to their friends through things; friends who answer immediately when things get serious, who will drop everything to help out.
you dont get enough credit 99% of the time, but you are so important. i hope you know that.
you've got to move on.
you're someone else's everything.
you're someone else's answered prayers.
and you can't meet the right person if you keep on going back to the wrong one.
remember, you can't start a new chapter if you keep rereading the last one.
you know, moving on from something or someone is not easy because it's hard to flip to the next page knowing that that something or someone won't be in it,
but the story must go on—
our story must go on.
always remember that.
if you can see a future without me in it, and it doesn't break your heart into tiny little pieces then we're not doing what i thought we were doing here.
how the fuck do we fight the sadness away? it's 2:32 in the morning and everything is blurry and hazy and confusing. i have no tears left to cry but the amount of sadness that is in my heart is overwhelming.
probably one of my relapses but i'm still hoping for healing these coming months! i hope you are well despite all the shitty things that's been happening lately.
one day my name won't appear on your notifications and chat heads anymore;
my name won't appear on your news feed anymore.
one day, you'll forget about my posts, my rants, my thoughts,
but do me a favor...
if that day comes, i want you to remember my name - i want you to remember me.
remember me as someone who tried their best to make you happy every single day; as somebody who is once the happiest out of every little thing that you do.
i might leave for good reasons
but i know that i'll treasure good memories.
how do we let things go?
letting go is a hard thing to do, but it's worth it.
and most of the time we can only move on once we realize that there is no other way but to move on; there are no other options than that.
because if we don't do that, the pain that we are feeling will only cause us more damage and the only person that can feel that is ourselves.
so let's remind our hearts that there are no other ways but to move on and to move forward.
sometimes, we only know how strong we are until that's the only option that we have.
it's been a while since i checked my messages but i have a bunch of anon TAs asking who i am, and here's the answer:
:)
falling out of love is okay.
breaking up is okay.
moving on is okay.
being alone is okay.
changing is okay.
what's not okay is you staying somewhere where you don't feel appreciated, valued, and happy,
that is not okay.
you'll never just get over it. it'll always be there just a little bit, tucked away somewhere.
you'll continue to live and not notice it much. but maybe every so often it'll hurt again, and that's alright.
our traumas and pain don't just magically go away when we heal, they just stop taking so much space.
hey, it's okay.
it's okay if you thought you had it all under control and then you break down. it's okay if you thought that you had it all figured out and then you freak out.
it's okay if you thought that you've already moved on and then one song, one movie, one place, one picture will bring back the memories that brought you pain before.
it's okay.
healing is messy,
but always remember,
sometimes our hearts and our bodies need more time understanding what the mind already knows.
be kinder to yourself.
you know where i fucked up?
i started being the boyfriend before i was ever the boyfriend, and i started being the husband while i was only the boyfriend.
and i allowed us to play house in a home that wasn't ours.
and i gave everything, without them ever needing to commit to anything.