Hi! I read your take on Five and Lila and I’m going to have to respectfully disagree. I’d like to offer a different perspective on Five and Lila’s dynamic, one that sees their relationship not as a sudden detour or narrative blunder, but a slow-burn that makes sense emotionally, thematically, and character-wise.
Let’s address the elephant in the subway: yes, Lila and Five spent seven years stuck together, and while, yes, trauma bonding is real, this wasn’t Stockholm Syndrome or whatever. These two already had tension, banter, mutual annoyance, reluctant respect. That subway didn't create chemistry; it marinated it until it was too strong to ignore.
The idea that Lila and Diego worked and talked through their issues feels… overly generous. They got together because of an accidental pregnancy, glossed over their problems because of the urgency of the kugelblitz, and never actually worked through the foundational cracks in their relationship. They had an idealized version of each other in their heads and went straight into playing house. And *shocker*: it didn’t work. Not because Lila didn’t care. But because she wanted more. Adventure. Freedom. Herself back. Lila did try to be what Diego needed. But in doing so, she lost pieces of herself. And when she voiced that he judges her, condemns her for needing space, for not wanting to be stuck in the carousel hell of suburban life and diaper changes, while he also longed for his vigilante days. Diego wanted the fantasy, wanted Lila to stay in the box labeled “wife and mother.” Lila was still trying to survive reality. Lila and Diego’s relationship didn’t fall apart because the writers stopped caring or wanted to throw an affair for the fun of it. It fell apart because they stayed true to who the characters are when the masks slip, when they’re forced to settle into a reality that doesn’t include their power, when they’re forced to be normal.
Lila’s return to her family is not a rejection of her relationship with Five but a reflection of her complexity. It is very clear that in Lila is a character that’s torn into who she is and who she believes she should be. When she decides to return to the greenhouse, she very clearly states she has children that need her, at no time does she mention Diego. In fact it's Five that brings up her broken marriage. Claiming that Lila realized she made a mistake is an interpretation, not a fact. What we saw was a woman torn, not regretful. She missed her children, chose her children, But choosing to return to them doesn’t mean what she shared with Five wasn’t real. These aren’t mutually exclusive truths. She can miss the life she built and still ache for the happiness she had with Five. This doesn’t make their relationship unrealistic, on the contrary, it is painfully realistic because of it. And this is not about depicting Lila’s choices as morally pristine because TUA isn’t a moralistic show. It’s a show about a group of dysfunctional characters trying to survive apocalypses, trauma, and themselves.
As for the alleged lack of resolution surrounding Lila’s feelings about Five murdering her birth parents- while the show doesn't focus on this plotline in Season 3, let alone discuss it in Season 4, that doesn’t mean it was swept under the rug. I’d argue Lila is an expert at emotional compartmentalization. She doesn’t confront things head-on, she lies, she masks, she redirects. Her initial rage in Season 2 against Five was visceral, but it’s clear she was struggling against more than just revenge. What’s fascinating is how her dynamic with Five changes after that! Yes, her grief, her rage, her need for vengeance was real. But so was the part of her that grew to see Five as more than the man who pulled the trigger. She didn’t fall in love with her parents’ killer– she fell in love with someone just as broken as her, who knew what it meant to carry the weight of working at the Commision, and who knew what it was like to have blood on their hands. That doesn’t erase the past, it complicates it. What could have been a simple revenge arc evolved into a wary truce, then grudging respect, and, dare I say mutual fascination. It’s the kind of storytelling that relies on playing the long game, and it’s intentionally messy. The type of messy that comes with loving the wrong person and realizing too late who the right one was. The type of messy TUA is.
That’s not bad writing, it’s brutally, beautifully human.
I'm glad we agree that this wasn’t out of character for Five. If anyone was bound to end up in a love story-and one that felt like a ticking time bomb at that-it was him. Five’s entire life has been about control, precision, and isolation. Lila blows all of that up. She challenges him, infuriates him, keeps him on his toes, and most importantly, she understands him. Not many people do. Dolores? That wasn’t a joke (as much as it is treated like it is). That was a boy, a man so starved of connection he built one out of fantasy. Lila? She’s the reality of what it means to actually feel something, of bringing that need for connection to life.
Your concern about the real-world age gap between actors is valid but here we’re talking about Five and Lila, who are fictional and are equals. In-universe, these are two adults who’ve been through hell, back, and several apocalypses. Five might look young, but emotionally? He’s older than his siblings, he’s lived a lifetime and then some. 45 years of isolation, war, and survival have shaped him into someone far more guarded and emotionally complex than his appearance depicts. He is not someone who connects with others easily, let alone romantically. That’s why his bond with Lila is so significant.
Lila, with her own history of manipulation, betrayal, and survival, meets him on that same emotional minefield. Mentally and emotionally, he matches Lila’s cunning, her exhaustion, her survival instinct. They’re two chessmasters circling each other, with a chemistry more akin to wildfire than sparks. Uncontrollable, reckless, but somehow inevitable. Their connection is built on mutual understanding, moral ambiguity, unspoken trust, and the rare relief of not having to explain the weight they carry.
Reducing their connection to just “cheating” ignores the deeper, more human truth the show wanted to convey, that love doesn’t always arrive at the “right” time or in a socially acceptable manner. It was meant to be complicated. Because that’s what real love is sometimes. It doesn’t wait for the perfect moment. It sneaks up on you when you least expect it, when it's inconvenient, when you’re tired and angry and vulnerable and stuck in a subway with someone who sees you, or in Five’s case it resurfaces under layers of concrete.
I also want to point out a bit of a contradiction in your argument. You mention that Five and Lila’s romance “came entirely out of left field” and felt forced, but earlier, you also acknowledge that the tension between them has been building since season 2. If that’s the case (and I’d agree that it is) then their connection didn’t just appear in season 4 out of thin air. It was the culmination of seasons of buildup: the banter, the rivalry, the reluctant partnership, the mutual understanding born from shared trauma, then having each other’s back, trusting with eachothers lives in the subway. Season 4 didn’t conjure up their chemistry…it simply provided something that was already there very limited room for it to unfold. Although it might have seemed abrupt, the story was actually revealing something that had been building across two and a half seasons. So maybe they’re messy, but to dismiss their connection as convenient is to overlook just how much groundwork the show laid for these two- from their rivalry in Season 2 to their partnership in Season 3 to their undeniable bond in Season 4. Five and Lila aren’t an accident.
So no, I don’t think Five was just “a thrill” for Lila. I think she saw someone who understood her. Someone who didn’t flinch at the blood on her hands. And Five? He finally let himself want something that wasn’t survival. That wasn’t duty or responsibility to his family. That was just her.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
