Fai_Ryy
Sweet Seals For You, Always
The Stonewall Inn
NASA
EXPECTATIONS
oozey mess
Origami Around
Cosimo Galluzzi
sheepfilms
RMH
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macklin celebrini has autism
bliss lane
YOU ARE THE REASON
official daine visual archive
Andulka
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Cosmic Funnies
Noah Kahan
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@simplyketa
Kym Johnson on Today’s Episode of Dirty Sexy Funny with Jenny McCarthy. I uploaded the entire 12 minute interview…it is all cute, but the Robert part begins at around 5:15. Enjoy
Be prepared for Jenny’s language…this is an uncensored show with an unedited audio track!
I listened to this earlier today and I just love this so much…
Thank you!
Female Awesome Meme: [1/10] lead characters → Eleanor Shellstrop (The Good Place) “Are you going to talk? Or just walk around like a nerd trying to get a personal best on his Fitbit?”
My mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like. Three sets of random teeth mixed around
Okay I’m so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like. Really funny. I’m so sorry
wtf dogs lose their teeth. also who the fuck keeps baby teeth that’s horrific
My mom kept my baby teeth. And then my second set fell out so I kept those in a little bag and now we both have a set of my baby teeth.
wait what. how many teeth do you have im so confused.
I had 3 sets of teeth. So did my older brother. It was weird cause I’d had them for a few years and then they all started coming out all at once. Had a full new set in like 2 weeks. My dentist said it was fine since nothing grew out of place so idk.
I’m sorry what you grew teeth like a shark? What?
When i was younger I watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing all her baby teeth and crushed them all into powder under the leg of a chair bc she was bored
Excuse me?
This post is like getting punched repeatidly, but from a different angle each time
*uses lol lmao and rip as punctuation*
in skyrim i married a homeless man and even though we are married and he lives in my huge fuckin house he still wears rags and asks me to give him 1 gold whenever i see him
that’s just what men are like
“People are naturally lazy and will never do any kind of work for free.”
Fanfiction Writers:
“Never have i ever used somebody else’s toothbrush.”
my flight was so colorful
Pilot over intercom: “welcome queers to the ride of your LIFE! This bitch about to yeet outta here so buckle up and hold onto your wigs!”
Jay Pharaoh’s John Mulaney impression
Holy shit
That wasn’t an impression John Mulaney possessed him
Water is wet
are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?
Damn by next month the tag for Charmed will no longer be just for the OG Charmed series
# oscar worthy
so many white people don’t get this
my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.
this passed the bechdel test
