Jar Father who Garf in Heaven

be normal to each other they/them 26

[jarfieid]

Was at a queer thrift store today and while my friend was trying on clothes I think the cashier noticed me looking a little too long at the collars but didn't say anything

[jarfieid]

It's so good that I can make up a kind of annoying guy and then discuss with friends how best to psychologically torture them. Yeah here's a guy who is so mortally terrified of being in debt/being poor that they're willing to run acquisitions for The Magnus Institute. What if they had to choose between fucking up a job and not getting paid or finishing the job and getting a coworker killed. What if they were also an annoying grindest dickhead.

[agentletragedy]

the furtive FUCKING pygmy

[jarfieid]

I'm usually at work right now but for whatever reason they didn't schedule me so I tried taking a nap cause y'know, tired. Instead what I got was a super vivid stress dream where I hopped on a bus that left me stranded in the middle of nowhere, no phone data, I had to be at work in an hour, no one would scratch my head, and all I had to eat was plain bread. yay.

[jarfieid]

Zestburster for pride month is this anythjg

[jarfieid]

I am a godless pervert who needs to be put down inhumanely (thinking about kissing rn)

[jarfieid]

I'm already unhappy that the next MtG set is Marvel for multiple reasons but the possibility of Literal Actual Nazi Red Skull getting a card is certainly up there

[jarfieid]

Fucking come on now

[jarfieid]

As we get more Universes Beyond stuff in Magic: the Gathering I become a little more uncomfortable with the number of children that are now in the game where I can melt your skin off and send you to hell, and then reanimate your corpse to fight for me

[jarfieid]

I woke up this morning with the ideal version of a dog me in my head. I have now had three beers. This is not quite what I envisioned but I love them

[jarfieid]

I should get a sweater that looks less sophisticated and more slutty. I've earned it.

[jarfieid]

Does anyone know if you can kinda like. Bite something that's hard and just kinda go crazy on it with braces on. Idk I just need to fucking bite something. But I don't wanna mess up my teeth

[jarfieid]

I'd hate to become a skeleton and then everyone would be all "oh shit a skeleton they've gotta know something about necromancy" but not me. I'd be forlornly making huge sub sandwiches and then watching them fall out of my ribcage and shit. Fuck I'd hate being a skeleton

[jarfieid]

Maybe I should get into hats

[jarfieid]

Like, when I worked at O'Reilly's like six years ago now I bought this god awful green plaid oreillys branded hat and I wore it everywhere and everyone hated it but me. I loved that hat. But baby rats got loose in my bedroom and ate it so I can't wear it I just keep its tatters on my shelf and look at it forlornly. Maybe a cooler hat than that tho I can do better

[jarfieid]

Maybe I should get into hats

[jarfieid]

Baboon chopped as fuck. Sorry for your loss but this baboon is super chopped

[jarfieid]

"Return to the bottom, Ironclad"

RETURN THEDE NUTS TO YOUR MOUTH, ARCHITECT! I JUST FUCKED UP YOUR CLOCK AND BROKE MY A9 LOSING STREAK!

[jarfieid]

Just saw the TADC Last Act and all I'm gonna say is