Simply Poems

[simplypoems]

Legacy

WHY CAN’T I WRITE HAPPY POETRY THIS MEDIUM NOT A REFLECTION OF MY TRUE EMOTIONAL STATE AT LEAST I HOPE IT ISN’T AT LEAST I KNOW IT ISN’T WHAT IF I AM UNHAPPY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IS IT POSSIBLE TO LIVE THIS WAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE HOW MANY SAD SHIT POEMS CAN I WRITE BEFORE MY FINGERS ATROPHY WILL I EMPLOY MY GRANDCHILDREN TO WRITE MORE SAD SHIT POEMS WILL THEY LAUGH AT MY SAD SHIT COMPILATION OF DECADES OF UNHAPPINESS AND UNFULFILLMENT AND CALL ME SAD SHIT BEHIND MY BACK OR TO MY FACE OR WILL THEY UNDERSTAND DO I UNDERSTAND

[simplypoems]

Ikagai pt ii

did I ever thank them properly for seeing my vision through and did I do things for the right reason and am I going in the right direction and will I ever feel satisfied is it okay to be this restless is it okay to feel this angry is it okay to not care

[simplypoems]

Comparisons

Loneliness vs Overburdened Hopelessness vs Listlessness Despair vs Apathy Clarity vs Ambivalence Purpose vs [REDACTED]

[simplypoems]

Salsa pt ii

1 2 3 5 6 7 one two three five six seven doing great let’s keep trying what a spin so much better don’t feel bad no more pressure keep it up I will follow

[simplypoems]

Salsa pt 1

1 2 3 5 6 7 one two three five six seven not like that hold your body keep on beat don’t you falter nevermind see you after wish you were more like me

[simplypoems]

ikagai pt i

welcome to the working american life nine to five six seven eight We find a way to remove the fluctuations say goodbye to the sweeping emotions who needs them, that was a college thing

your poems don’t suck, you suck your muse isn’t dead, you’re dead you career isn’t stagnant, you’re stagnant your hope isn’t hallow, you’re hallow for the rest of your life can we tap back into it using the portal of music let it wash over us hastily write down words as we watch the vigor dissipate for the rest of our life is this happiness and fulfillment can you relive the feeling again do you even want to do you even want to

[simplypoems]

What is your experience like?

'you can go can to ignoring us now' She explained, dismissing me And so I returned to my people On our side of the invisible walls I'm sorry

[simplypoems]

W 37th Drive

Sketchy parking Peeing mosque Noisy gate Backwards key Creaky closet Cold tile Thin pots and pans No counter space Deluge faucet Furry rug Sour and soapy bathroom Dirty shower Pink flip-flops Shitty toiletry holder Twangy magazine rack Dusty windows Chinese neighbor Unused tiny bunk bed Squeeky and thumpy futon Boxy other futon Automan storage box for towels Powdered carpet cleaner Unusable and drafty backdoor James Wheelchair homeless man

[simplypoems]

Immutable

You cannot defy

The wind as it blows through you

You hardly exist

[simplypoems]

Turn Away

Apathetically, I continue to share my thoughts You you you choose to read this this but maybe this is where you must truncate your efforts or face emotions you may not be ready to face face face me again I’ve been hurt before and now it’s being undone but I blame you too much perhaps perhaps no one is as fault I am at fault I am sorry

[simplypoems]

change

I’m generally undeserving of your generosity Or so it seems, and feels But you whisper, “On the contrary,” And defiantly stand up to my SELF-HATRED MY INCONSOLABLE SELF-LOATHING MY UNYIELDING SELF-DEPRECATION “Very good,” you whisper with a closed-eyed, calming smile and nod You champion the part of me that is good Because you are very good to me feeling poetic every now and then, my muse speaks in spite and hate despite there existing other lyrical forms to share you give me my good voice

[simplypoems]

Warmings

She Makes me feel warm inside and Warms the room with her presence and I haven't been warm in so long and so I am content As fleeting as these fervorous moments may or may not be, I hope to still cherish them all the same and not be left out to dry like every other every other every other time time time again, again let's hope for the the best please

[simplypoems]

inverse I

inverse me I hardly grasp I stare into the abyss and ask what it’s like and the answers make sense on the surface but bewilder and terrify me deep down inside in ways I cannot describe but only feel

I must ask What other purpose would I serve If not to empathize and love another being To lose sleep for purpose and worry To be consumed and consume nothing To hurt until it feels good

AND HERE I AM, ALIVE HEART BEATING AND BERATING HOW DARE I MAKE MYSELF VULNERABLE BUT I CAN’T STOP EITHER I HAVEN’T LEARNED MY LESSON LOOK AT ME

My name is regret and I lied I envy your apathy It’s not amazing to feel sad all the time There’s nothing good about this counterpoint to happiness It doesn’t help me appreciate the highs

This is suffering in it’s purest form A distilled pain that goes straight to the head and squeezes by the heart and laughs and taunts and cries and never leaves

What was it like to be happy How do you know when you’re depressed I’m not ready for tomorrow

[simplypoems]

trauma I

inflatable mattress and four words with four sad eyes to reflect upon the past and and weep for the present and fear for the future and close and open and close and open and close and open and close forever

[simplypoems]

Old Veteren

Old Veteren, How dutily you marched to formation Your innards have succumbed to black, from the lead you ingested and though you never used it, we mourn your severed hand We will disassemble and clean you, before you are stowed one final time, lest you be unceremoniously lost, like your breatheren of package Old Veteren, you served us well

[simplypoems]

My unscarred wrists are dishonest.

[simplypoems]

family pt iii

Oh how I exist mother of mine, role model all because of you