@simplythuy - Tumblr Blog

I can’t believe it’s been exactly 112 days since you passed away. I think I had dreamt about you 3 times now since you have been gone. I wish i had wrote down the days they happened.

But i remember briefly the first time I dreamt about you, I didn’t see your face but inside it felt like it was you. I followed you around, it felt like we were going in circles. It was endless. I don’t remember how i woke up.

The second time I dreamt about you, for some reason it was in a car. From afar it was a lady, but when I got closer I I saw your face. This was awhile ago though so I can’t fully remember all the details. But I remember screaming for you. Yelling Mom in Vietnamese over and over again. But I couldn’t get closer. I woke up in tears.

Third time. 11/25. I don’t know where we were. Or who else we were with. But I remember you. Your face. I remember us talking. About your illness. How we didn’t know how much longer you would have. I remember hugging you. Oh so tightly. I felt this warmth on my chest as I begin to cry. I remember waking up at around 1am with actual tears in my eyes and the warm feeling on my chest. It felt as if I really did hug you in my arms. I miss you mom.

cyberxbattalion

free-my-mindd

soulmvtes

it's about the small acts of intimacy... forehead kisses, putting jewelry on you, rubbing your hand with their thumb, putting a jacket on you, touching your necklace, running your hands through their hair, wiping away their tears, peeling them an orange, un/zipping their dress, tying their shoelaces, holding hands, removing an eyelash from their cheek, washing their hair, putting an anklet on them, tucking their hair behind their ear, sorting out their collar, untangling their necklaces, drinking out of a cup in their hands

It has now been a month since I have been laid off from my job. At first I was really devastated because of all the years of hard work I put into my jobs, and how I developed vertically up the ladder. Two months into a new position within the same company, and I got let go. All the hard work I put into it, the relationships I built while working there... honestly they were the reason I stayed there for so long. NGL I bawled my eyes out when I heard the news. It took a few days for me to settle in, and not be so emotional. I had to think positive, and believe that something bigger and better is going to be out there for me. Plus, this allowed me to move out of my home state sooner. Although not on the terms that I wanted, but hey sometimes life happens and you just gotta yolo right?

I can't believe that a month has passed though... time feels like it is going by so slow but somehow it's already been one month. I applied to numerous jobs, but have yet to hear back from any. I'm stuck between the dilemma of, should I just take any job at this point, or can I afford to hold out for a little while and hope that something good will come my way. Sometimes I even have the thought of, should I change career paths? Should I learn something new? What could I excel at? TBH.. I don't really know the answer to those questions. I don't know what to do, or where to begin. Today I think I am just feeling a little bit down because of this uncertainty in my life. Most days I am fine, but for some reason today is just one of those down days.

#03.20.23