The worst part about Dean’s job was when they couldn’t save someone on a hunt. It was practically the Winchester family mottoe to save people and hunt things, but there was always a hunt that both brothers knew wasn’t going to end well before they even got there. This one was supposed to have been a typical ghost, salt and burn the bones and everything would be fine, but neither Sam or Dean had counted on the ghost actually being smart for once.
Before either of them could react, the ghost had killed the mother of the family they’d been trying to help. Which would have been awful enough without the family’s four year old in the room. The utter despair in the little girl’s eyes broke something in Dean and suddenly it wasn’t her losing her mother it was Dean. Sam had gotten rid of the ghost easily enough after that, the ghost focusing all her attention on the crying girl and both Winchesters were back in the Impala within the hour. The little girl had been left with her father and that was that.
Except it wasn’t, because one look at Dean’s face had Sam pulling the Impala keys out of his hands and for once Dean couldn’t find it in him to argue. The entire ride back to the bunker had been silent, save for the occasion attempts from Sam to get him to talk. Once at the bunker, Dean had slammed the door to the Impala shut and headed straight to his bedroom. The usual tradition of going out or staying in to clean off the mud off the Impala would have to wait until later.
That had been hours ago and Dean was still curled up under a blanket trying not to think too hard about what had happened. Cas and Sam had both tried once to get him to talk, asking if he was okay when it was pretty clear that he wasn’t, but they’d left as soon as they hadn’t gotten an answer. Dean figured he had a couple more hours of moping until they sent in Fawna, the only person who he actually wanted to see right now, taking advantage of the quiet around him.
When the door to his room slowly opened and the unmistakable scent of Fawna was steadily creeping closer, Dean couldn’t do anything more than huff in annoyance and roll onto his back. Everything in him was screaming at him to let her come closer but the small voice in his head, the one that always came out when he fucked up, was telling him to ignore her until she left. He didn’t deserve her comfort or for her to care about someone that couldn’t save a little girl from growing up without a mother.
Fawna kept busy as the boys were away. It was always easy to do that, there was always something to do around this bunker. A lot of the times it was cleaning, dusting mostly. There was so much to do and Fawna enjoyed doing it. She often had to keep herself busy so she wouldn’t stress. If she let herself, Fawna would sit and worry over Dean until she couldn’t see straight. She had seen what this life could do to people, what it had done to Dean.
She could see that there was something hidden in his eyes at times, when he returned from a hunt. A pain he didn’t wish to talk about, but a pain she could see written in the scars that covered his back. They told the stories of what caused him the pain, stories that Fawna wished she could erase. Everything in her wanted to sooth that pain. She knew she couldn’t so Fawna had vowed to love it. It was all a part of Dean, and Fawna loved him no matter what. That didn’t mean she didn’t want to try and ease that pain for him. His smile was something rare, but an easy thing to adore.
A rare thing indeed, especially seeing his face when she finally saw the boys walk through the door. The keys were dangling from Sam’s hands instead of Dean’s nearly broke her heart and neither of them had said a word. She let the boys pass by not bothering to stop Dean. There was a distance in the way he carried himself that told her he needed time. So Fawna took a step out of the map room and headed to her own. She got out a few things for Sam so that he could heal what he needed. But for Dean she pulled out his favorite peppermint scent. She knew that it would help sooth him if she couldn’t. To make sure the scent wasn't too overwhelming, Fawna diluted the mixture with water. She wanted to try in help in anyway that Dean allowed her to.
Part of Fawna hoped he was asleep, just so she could tend to the wounds he had received. It would help further relax him but as she left her bedroom and found Sam the look on his face told her that Dean was most certainly having a hard time. She quietly handed over the potions to Sam before turning in her heel to go help her love.
Knocking gently on the door she waited for an answer she wouldn't receive but she did it anyways just to be polite. Fawna quietly slipping into the room greeted by an angry huff. She didn't take it to heart, things were tough for Dean she knew that. It seemed he didn't have an outlet to convey his emotions to and while she offered to listen he had trouble. She didn't blame him, but she always had an open door to it. Quietly setting her things on the bedside table, Fawna headed back to the door to flip off the lights. There was no way Dean could relax if the lights were on. She moved around seamlessly in the dark, easily lighting candles to give the room a soft glow instead of the harsh overhead lights. Her fingers found the bottle of diluted peppermint scent and slowly removed the lid to let the smell flow through the air. She didn't talk to Dean, knowing he wouldn't respond. She wanted to respect his wishes of that, if he was ready she'd be there to let him speak.
Looking around the room, there was little else Fawna could do that wouldn't disturb the oldest Winchester. She longed to stay, though. She wanted to comfort him and be there for him. However the last thing she wanted to do was push Dean into something he was uncomfortable with. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at the man with soft eyes. She couldn't help herself as she reached out to just gently brush her fingers across his cheek as a sad smile sat on her lips. Fawna wished she could just sit and hold him, help him through the pain he was in. It didn't have to involve talking, but just be in his presence taking care of him. But she'd be back ready to help when Dean was ready for her.