Paradise;

We're speeding through red lights into paradise 'Cause we've no time for getting old Mortal bodies, timeless souls Cross your fingers, here we go | Fawna Simmons |

[simxfawna]

In Town Fair

Fawna rubbed her eyes as she started to wake up from the long drive. They had set out on a hunt around seven hours ago, and it finally seemed they were nearing the town. The blonde sat up from out out stretched position to glance out the window. A soft yawn left her lips as she gazed at the window watching the trees rush by as soft classic rock drifted through the air.  She recognized the song from how many times Dean played it but it only made her smile. She enjoyed learning Dean’s favorite songs. 

As they drove along Fawna noticed something far ahead of them. Bright strobe spotlights shone into the air flashing quickly. Moving quickly, she moved to the middle seat so that she could look ahead through the windshield. It didn’t take them too long to find out where these lights were coming from. There was a county fair being held in the town that they were heading into. Fawna hide her excitement by covering her mouth. She knew that kind of stuff weren’t really the boys forte, and she didn’t want to make them feel like they had to take her to the fair. 

Ever since she was a child she always dreamed of going to a fair, but it was never a luxury she could have. She always heard stories from the other kids at school about all the prizes they won and the rides they rode at the fair and all Fawna ever wanted was to experience that. She never got lucky enough to stumble upon one until now. Her eyes followed the fair as is rushed by, there looked to be so many colors to flash by in a blur. She could only imagine the fun that everyone there was having. 

Maybe there was a way she could sneak off later to just pop in. She didn’t have to play any games or ride rides but just take in the experience. As the pulled into the motel, Fawna’s face dropped a little she could hear the boys talking about how this case could be a hard one seeing that there were so many people in town. It sounded like she wasn’t going to be able to sneak off after all. Fighting a pout, the blonde ducked out of the car as she brought her things with her. It could be seen as childish, but Fawna did really long to attend a fair once in her life. A soft sigh left her lips as she slung her bag onto her shoulder so she could bring it into the motel room. The blonde began to set her things onto the little table inside the room so that she could get her potions and her spells out. It was easier to set them all up before than be in a frenzy when something bad happened. The fair would have be pushed away as another silly little childish fantasy. 

[simxfawna]

Friend or Foe?

[simxfawna]

deanxxwinchesters:

Dean hated small towns. There wasn’t anything to do after they were done with a hunt and most of them were too small to even have a burger shop. The only upside to smaller towns was little hole in the wall mom and pop diners that sold pie that was good enough to make everything okay. Of course Sam didn’t complain because rabbit food was rabbit food no matter where you ordered it, or so he said.

But this little town also seemed to have a witch problem, and that was supposed to be their main concern while in the small town. But after a second, failed, interview where everyone seemed so far in denial both Winchesters were starting to doubt the witches were real. So Sam had gone off to do his research and Dean had parked the Impala somewhere and decided to poke his head around the little shops littering the main road.

One of them looked to be a flower shop, and the only reason he’d gone in was because Sam had been pestering him lately about buying more lavender for one of the spells he’d found in the bunker. If any place was going to have it, it’d be a plant shop, or at least that’s what Dean told himself as he glanced around at all the flowers decorating the place.

“Uh, no,” he chuckled light, not jumping at all when someone suddenly appeared from the back. “Giving a girl flowers isn’t my thing but if it were you’d be my first place to stop.” He paused, glancing around the shop again, trying to find out where she’d suddenly appeared from without making it seem like he was searching for it. “My kid brother is obsessed with lavender all of a sudden and I figured a plant shop was the best place to find some. Got any?”

A soft smile was on her lips as the stranger responded. Fawna got all sorts of visitors in her shops, some coming from far away to request her healings. It had been awhile since someone had caught Fawna’s eye. This stranger was beyond handsome and she actively had to keep herself from staring.

People like this man never stuck around though. So Fawna wouldn’t even think about getting attached. Her life was quiet and it was best that way. “That’s a shame... but I’m flattered you come here. I specialize in making date bouquets. Between you and me the roses are overrated.” She giggles softly, setting the broom against the front counter. 

“I do indeed. Do you know what type he’s interested in? I’ve got, French, English, or even Multifida.” Fawna lead him over to the large vases filled with different types of lavender. “The important lavenders are a little more expensive since they can’t be grown here. But it shouldn’t break the bank too much.” She always mentioned that, quietly hoping that customers would go with the cheaper lavender, like english or french. She liked to keep the Multifida to herself, it always owned best in spells over the US grown lavenders. It seemed purer. Thankfully in all her years no one had ever bought her imported Multifida so she was able to create spells easily. 

[deanxxwinchesters]

live with ghosts

[simxfawna]

deanxxwinchesters:

The sounds of Fawna moving around his room soon filled Dean’s ears and part of him had wished that his angry huff would have been enough to stop her from coming in. He didn’t want her to see him this way, not ruined over things that should have been in the past or over something as stupid as a hunt. But Fawna was stubborn, especially when it came to emotions and anything concerning him. Which made sense that she’d stick around, if Sam had told her he wasn’t doing too hot after after a hunt.

But a larger part of him wasn’t mind her presence there, it was comforting that she cared enough to not be scared off by the angry huff or that he couldn’t deal with emotions the “right” way. But no matter what Dean threw at her, Fawna always seemed to have the right answer for everything. The sudden darkness that fell in his room was a small comfort. The harsh overhead lights weren’t doing any favors for his headache, because of course she would have thought of that. He also made a noise to stop her from lighting candles, but the sight of her moving around in the candlelight stopped him. 

The candlelight was bouncing off her blonde hair in a way that almost made it look like the light was coming from it, and Fawna had never looked more beautiful to him. The small voice in his head, the one that kinda sounded like his dad and always came out when he fucked up, was telling him that he didn’t deserve someone like her. That his life wasn’t allowed to have anything beautiful because all he did was ruin everything he touched.

The sudden smell of peppermint didn’t help, it reminded him of his mom and that was the last thing he needed right now. Because a little girl had lost her mother today because of him. Everything in him was screaming to get rid of the scent, but the four year in him that had also lost his mother was being comforted by the familiar scent. So he didn’t say a word about the peppermint smell.

The feeling of soft fingertips against his cheek brought him out of his thoughts, Fawna coming into focus clearly for the first time since she’d stepped into his room. He could tell she was getting ready to leave, there wasn’t else she tended to do when he didn’t want to talk about thing. But Dean didn’t want her to leave, he was tired of being alone because that wasn’t doing anything for him right now. But before he could say anything Fawna was gone from his line of sight and he could hear her by the door. “A little girl’s mom was killed today,” he whispered, voice rough from lack of use. “She coudn’t have been more than four and I’m the reason she’s gonna grow up without a mom…”

Her eyes remained soft as she met Dean’s opening ones. Just his eyes spoke to her about how terrible things had gone on the hunt. Her heart broke feeling helpless just looking at Dean’s quiet torment. Her fingers feel from his face as she turned away from him. She moved quietly through the room, her hand reaching out to the door knob to slip out but the man’s gruff voice stopped her. 

His works made her chest clench and she closed her eyes for a moment. “Dean..” Her voice was light and quiet almost a silent whisper. Her turned to look at him, nothing but love in her eyes. “It is not your fault.. It has never been your fault.” She shook her head softly as she slowly made her way to the bed. She wanted to give him enough time to tell her to go, change his mind. 

Fawna gently sat on the edge of the bed, her fingers returning to cup his scruffy cheek. “She did not die at your hands.. you did not kill her. That little girl is not going to hate you either.” Fawna kept her voice soft, not to hurt the mood. In her heart she knew that Dean did everything he could, that was why he was taking it so hard. “I want to tell you something.. hopefully something that would help you.”

Taking a deep breath she took a moment to prepare herself. “I know what you are feeling.. I’ve gotten people into my shop that... died. They died in my arms, I was the last thing they saw, my words telling them that I would save them were the last things they heard. -- That hurts. It still does, I do this so that no one ever has to go through mourning and sometimes I fail. And at first, when I started doing this failing destroyed me. In fact lead me to do some terrible things to myself for it.” Fawna could feel the tears in her own eyes as she spoke. She could remember how when everyone left her for the night Fawna would hurt herself in anger. She be so angry with her self that she’d purposely hurt herself out of punishment. “But as I grew older I realized that... my torment can’t bring them back. Believe me... I tried.. I tried giving my life for strangers to make myself feel better because I was angry. I was sad and lonely.. and I thought Ii was my fault. All I could ever think about is how I could have done more and how I could have been better.. that only made things worse. I know that this isn’t really want you want to hear.. but its true.” A sad smile was on her cheeks as she spoke.

“But I began to realize that that isn’t way to live. You miss out on so much good, you miss the silver linings. There are good things in this life, miracles happen. Yes, that girl’s mother died, and that tears my heart out. But that little girl is alive.. you saved her. That little girl is going to live a life, it didn’t end tonight. She’s going to be able to learn how to ride a bike, go on dates, sneak out and get married. She’s going to have a life neither of us ever had... and that’s wonderful. Maybe it’s not the ideal situation but.. she’s going to one day thank you. When she’s thirty years old with a quiet family, she’ll think back and thank you for saving her life.” Leaning forward the blonde kissed Dean’s forehead. 

“You’re still my hero..” 

[deanxxwinchesters]

because of you

[simxfawna]

deanxxwinchesters:

After a, pretty successful, hunt, there was nothing more that Dean wanted than a hot shower and alone time with Fawna. Having her coming along on a hunt was nice, mostly because she was always hovering nearby, but the issue was that Sam was always around too. Which meant a strict rule of no “funny business” had been put into play and if Dean were a pouting man he would have started pouting a long time ago.

But they were finally back in the bunker and and as soon as they were unpacked and Sam had gone off for groceries or whatever else he needed to do, he could drag Fawna for a shower and finally be able to spend alone time with her. He’d almost been tempted to shove Sam right back out the door and leave the bags in the back of the Impala, but a quick glare from his younger brother told him that was a terrible idea. So he’d grabbed his bag, along with Fawna’s, and followed his giant of a brother to take the bags in.

Of course, Sam couldn’t stop him from carelessly tossing his duffel in the room he’d claimed as his own and gently placing Fawna’s bag on the dresser. Dean knew better than to throw her bag around, not with all the glass bottles and potions that could do anything when mixed together. Making his was quickly back to the Impala where Fawna was waiting.

Outside, a voice suddenly stopped him in his tracks. It was male, familiar and everything in Dean was suddenly screaming at him that something was very wrong. Slowly edging closer and one hand slip to the gun he always kept tucked into the waist of his jeans. “Who the fuck are you,” he practically spat at the lookalike, shifter, whatever, of his dead father, drawing its attention away from Fawna. “Nice meatsuit, John.”

The hunt wasn’t as bad that Fawna had expected. The blonde tended to expect the worst when it came to hunting with the Winchesters. When she did pack for the worst that’s when it happened so preparation was key. Thankfully only one potion had to be used to clean up  few minor scratches and cuts. 

It was nice not to stress over her boys and have a hunt feel pretty successful but as a reward she wanted alone time with Dean. Sadly with the youngest around there was very little that Fawna could do with Dean. The eldest Winchester wasn’t really into PDA around his little brother and Fawna respected that. While she did respect it that didn’t mean she wished she could sneak in a few deeper kisses. The last thing Fawna would do was complain about it. She could easily wait until they were alone together. 

However once they were finally outside the bunker she could see how antsy Dean was getting. A soft smile graced her lips, knowing what that meant. Normally after long hunts with Sam, her and Dean would spend some well deserved alone time together. He often rushed to get everything together and inside so that neither of them would have to worry about it later. 

Fawna let Dean rush inside as she gathered the last few things out of the impala before an unfamiliar voice startled her. Nearly bumping her head on the roof she ducked out of the car glancing behind her. An older man approached her slowly, a graying beard decorating his face, asking about the impala. He had said they he saw the car a few miles back and wanted to meet the owner. Before Fawna could even call for her boyfriend Dean was already there. A slightly relieved sigh escaped her lips, but she became aware that she was now much closer to whoever this was than Dean.

A slight anxious feeling filled her chest, Dean was definitely angry and with his gun pulled whoever this was could easily grab Fawna and she didn’t want that. Biting her lip, Fawna’s eyebrows raised at the name. The word John rang a bell, at the very few mentions of Dean’s father she still knew the name. “Dean..” She spoke then. Her voice was firm, as if to encourage him. 

[simxfawna]

AU: Dark Matter

Any shred of goodness that had found home in Fawna was now gone. The day people turned their backs on Fawna was the day that they'd soon regret. She was sure if they had know a crazy witch would show up on their door step they would have helped. They would have saved two innocent lives that day if they would have just saved Fawna's sister.

That is what got Fawna into magic in the first place. She had tried and failed so many times to bring Opal back to life. So many close calls that had a heartbeat but flatlined moments later. Every failed attempt at life had Fawna loosing hope and lost hope does dangerous things to a lonely child. The more she looked into resurrection spells the more dark magic she fell into. It began innocently enough, just using flowers. It soon became demented. The last straw, the last ounce of hope, was destroyed when she took her own mother's life. It wasn't like the drug coma her mother was in put up much of a fight when the child carved out her heart. The spell had required a blood relative's heart for the spell to work. It didn't work, no matter how many times and how many different variations of the ingredients Fawna got her sister wasn't coming back. She tried until her mother's heart become dust, she tried until her father's heart become dust.

Hope was gone, Opal was gone. That rage became everything, if her sister wasn't coming back then those who killed her would pay. Every single friend's parents who turned their noses up, every social worker who ignored the cries, every doctor who laughed in Fawna's face would pay for the torment that now consumed the child.

It had been a job, at first, to get revenge on those who turned their backs. Now? Now it was a game to the blonde. She liked thinking up new ways to torture the souls, make them feel as she did. She liked seeing them beg at her feet asking for forgiveness. Fawna liked seeing their face when laughter filled her mouth as she told them they were destined the same fate as her sister: death. It was a high for Fawna, it made her feel something. While that something wasn't good in any sense of the word it was still feelings.

Each victim helped kill the next. The spells and hex backs often required human parts to complete, a very dark magic. A dark magic that in fact Fawna had mastered. She had been warned by angels and demons alike that the magic she was using would cost her: her soul. That didn't matter to Fawna, not anymore. There was nothing worth saving. Apparently no one was worth saving.

Fawna's next hit was a doctor, the first one to ever turn down Opal. He was just a pediatrician when Fawna was a child, now he was the countries top surgeon. That's why it had taken Fawna so long to get her hands on the man, he was travelling never stayed in one place. Plus, with the amount of success he had over the years, Fawna guessed he was trying to out run the demon he promised his soul to. The ten years were so close to being up, and Fawna wanted to take this man down before a demon did.

This was it. It was so close to the end for this man. She had snuck into his hotel room days before placing hex bags that slowly made his health and mind deteriorate. The last thing Fawna wanted this man to remember was her face. Now here she was, preparing the last spell. Her things were across his counter, ready to be used when it was the man's time. However a door opening in the apartment made her jump. He was early... too early. She had watched this doctor's every move. Looking frantically around she caught a glimpse of a reflection in the china cabinet. This wasn't the doctor.

If Fawna had to guess, it had to be the demon coming to collect the doctor's soul. She wanted this for herself and she had to think quick. Her blood soaked hands reminded her something close to mashed cherries that’s when it hit her. She could play wife and hope that the demon didn't see the hex bags she left on the coffee table.

"Honey, you are home early." She spoke, her voice changing in pitch. Fawna made her voice soft and delicate but maybe just a little too familiar. If Fawna could make it, she could easily use the ingredients of the hex bags to make a quick spell and show the demon she could defend herself if the housewife approach didn't work. She did put on a good front. The soft pink dress and matching heels fooled anyone into thinking she was a good girl. "I made cherry pie as celebration!" Fawna rounded the corner and brought her bloodied hand up gasp at the intruder.

[simxfawna]

Shake it for me, girl

Fawna was the text book definition of lightweight. She had tried to explain that to the boys as well. The few times that Fawna had gotten drunk it ended with her being escorted out of bars. It wasn’t her being aggressive but just too much. She often tried to make friends with everyone and had no regard for personal space. Yet, the boys were very adamant about their new friend joining in on their traditions. It was so hard to say no to both puppy dog faces. 

It didn’t take too many beers for Fawna to be up on her feet making her rounds around everyone’s table. In Fawna’s foggy mind she was happily making friends but in other minds she was either obnoxious or flirty. That was until a song that Fawna knew came on over the static stereo. Normally in bars that the boys came to it was all the same music. It was all the classic rock that Dean knew every song too. It wasn’t that Fawna minded, she liked learning the songs from Dean but she was a country girl at heart.

Fawna was born and raised in Tennessee. All she ever heard was country music and that is what the blonde loved. Hearing the first beats and words of that song had something stirring in her that hadn’t been tapped into in a long long time. Her fuzzy brain decided she needed to dance, now. Fawna’s eyes glanced around there was really no place to dance in this place. So her next bright idea was the partly empty bar seemed like a good idea. 

Kicking off her shoes, Fawna was easily climbing up onto a bar stool and stepping onto the bar. Not missing a beat, the blonde’s hips easily picked up the rhythm, her short dress swishing around with her hips. Her hair had fallen from the pinned bun on her head, and since she was in a hurry she didn’t straighten her hair so now the curls that had fallen from her bun were bouncing around as she bopped to the music. 

A giggle escaped her lips as she heard a few cheers from the tables below her. She twirled around on her toes making her hair and dress spin in a circle around her. Catching her lip between her teeth she went back to swinging her hips trying to ‘shake it’ as the song was saying. 

[deanxxwinchesters]

live with ghosts

[simxfawna]

deanxxwinchesters:

The worst part about Dean’s job was when they couldn’t save someone on a hunt. It was practically the Winchester family mottoe to save people and hunt things, but there was always a hunt that both brothers knew wasn’t going to end well before they even got there. This one was supposed to have been a typical ghost, salt and burn the bones and everything would be fine, but neither Sam or Dean had counted on the ghost actually being smart for once. 

Before either of them could react, the ghost had killed the mother of the family they’d been trying to help. Which would have been awful enough without the family’s four year old in the room. The utter despair in the little girl’s eyes broke something in Dean and suddenly it wasn’t her losing her mother it was Dean. Sam had gotten rid of the ghost easily enough after that, the ghost focusing all her attention on the crying girl and both Winchesters were back in the Impala within the hour. The little girl had been left with her father and that was that.

Except it wasn’t, because one look at Dean’s face had Sam pulling the Impala keys out of his hands and for once Dean couldn’t find it in him to argue. The entire ride back to the bunker had been silent, save for the occasion attempts from Sam to get him to talk. Once at the bunker, Dean had slammed the door to the Impala shut and headed straight to his bedroom. The usual tradition of going out or staying in to clean off the mud off the Impala would have to wait until later.

That had been hours ago and Dean was still curled up under a blanket trying not to think too hard about what had happened. Cas and Sam had both tried once to get him to talk, asking if he was okay when it was pretty clear that he wasn’t, but they’d left as soon as they hadn’t gotten an answer. Dean figured he had a couple more hours of moping until they sent in Fawna, the only person who he actually wanted to see right now, taking advantage of the quiet around him.

When the door to his room slowly opened and the unmistakable scent of Fawna was steadily creeping closer, Dean couldn’t do anything more than huff in annoyance and roll onto his back. Everything in him was screaming at him to let her come closer but the small voice in his head, the one that always came out when he fucked up, was telling him to ignore her until she left. He didn’t deserve her comfort or for her to care about someone that couldn’t save a little girl from growing up without a mother.

Fawna kept busy as the boys were away. It was always easy to do that, there was always something to do around this bunker. A lot of the times it was cleaning, dusting mostly. There was so much to do and Fawna enjoyed doing it. She often had to keep herself busy so she wouldn’t stress. If she let herself, Fawna would sit and worry over Dean until she couldn’t see straight. She had seen what this life could do to people, what it had done to Dean. 

She could see that there was something hidden in his eyes at times, when he returned from a hunt. A pain he didn’t wish to talk about, but a pain she could see written in the scars that covered his back. They told the stories of what caused him the pain, stories that Fawna wished she could erase. Everything in her wanted to sooth that pain. She knew she couldn’t so Fawna had vowed to love it. It was all a part of Dean, and Fawna loved him no matter what. That didn’t mean she didn’t want to try and ease that pain for him. His smile was something rare, but an easy thing to adore.

A rare thing indeed, especially seeing his face when she finally saw the boys walk through the door. The keys were dangling from Sam’s hands instead of Dean’s nearly broke her heart and neither of them had said a word. She let the boys pass by not bothering to stop Dean. There was a distance in the way he carried himself that told her he needed time. So Fawna took a step out of the map room and headed to her own. She got out a few things for Sam so that he could heal what he needed. But for Dean she pulled out his favorite peppermint scent. She knew that it would help sooth him if she couldn’t. To make sure the scent wasn't too overwhelming, Fawna diluted the mixture with water. She wanted to try in help in anyway that Dean allowed her to.

Part of Fawna hoped he was asleep, just so she could tend to the wounds he had received. It would help further relax him but as she left her bedroom and found Sam the look on his face told her that Dean was most certainly having a hard time. She quietly handed over the potions to Sam before turning in her heel to go help her love.

Knocking gently on the door she waited for an answer she wouldn't receive but she did it anyways just to be polite. Fawna quietly slipping into the room greeted by an angry huff. She didn't take it to heart, things were tough for Dean she knew that. It seemed he didn't have an outlet to convey his emotions to and while she offered to listen he had trouble. She didn't blame him, but she always had an open door to it. Quietly setting her things on the bedside table, Fawna headed back to the door to flip off the lights. There was no way Dean could relax if the lights were on. She moved around seamlessly in the dark, easily lighting candles to give the room a soft glow instead of the harsh overhead lights. Her fingers found the bottle of diluted peppermint scent and slowly removed the lid to let the smell flow through the air. She didn't talk to Dean, knowing he wouldn't respond. She wanted to respect his wishes of that, if he was ready she'd be there to let him speak.

Looking around the room, there was little else Fawna could do that wouldn't disturb the oldest Winchester. She longed to stay, though. She wanted to comfort him and be there for him. However the last thing she wanted to do was push Dean into something he was uncomfortable with. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at the man with soft eyes. She couldn't help herself as she reached out to just gently brush her fingers across his cheek as a sad smile sat on her lips. Fawna wished she could just sit and hold him, help him through the pain he was in. It didn't have to involve talking, but just be in his presence taking care of him. But she'd be back ready to help when Dean was ready for her.

[simxfawna]

Yacht Club Party

To say that Fawna was excited was an understatement. She felt like she was on cloud nine, fulfilling a childhood dream. She had always wanted to dress up to the nines and attend a glamours party where they only served finger foods and sparkling champagne. Although this was all just for a hunt, that didn’t make it any less exciting. In fact maybe that is what made it more fun.

Dean had invited her out on this hunt, part of her wondered if he knew how excited she’d get at the chance to play dress up for a little while. He had told her they were on the look out for a cursed object, a locket that someone had bought from an antique shop. She always felt bad for people who innocently stumbled upon the objects. They caused so much unnecessary damage. So this hunt was literally a blessing and a curse in Fawna’s mind. 

Fawna had told the boys that she was going back to her shop to get potions just in case and spend a little time getting ready. That was a lie, she was spending every minute she had getting ready. She had bought the dress on a whim. It was an impulse buy but it was just beyond gorgeous there wasn’t anyway she couldn’t buy it. Originally it had just been the red satin dress, but Fawna had the idea to add the embellishments.  The beading was a deep red to stand out upon the lighter red of dress. It made her so excited so finally be able to slide on the soft dress. Her hair was already pinned up in a low messy twist. She didn’t want to do too much to her hair and take away from how pretty the dress was. An excited squeal escaped her lips when she saw how the beads danced with the light they reflected off of them.

She knew the boys would be here soon, so she headed downstairs to her little shop to slip on her beaded red heels and get her bag together. One last touch was sliding a red lipstick over her plumped lips. One last look in the mirror had her smiling at herself, nearly jumping around in excitement. 

Pulling out her phone from her little purse, Fawna texted Dean to tell him she was ready when he was. 

[simxfawna]

[simxfawna]

Take Me Home

[simxfawna]

deanxxwinchesters:

In the couple of weeks since he’d met Fawna, Dean had thought about calling her to check up on her. She’d stayed with them for a couple of weeks before she had to go to back to her shop and part of Dean had been hopeful that she’d come right back. But that had been weeks ago and Dean hadn’t heard anything from the witch. Sam had pointed out, on multiple occasions, that he should just stop pouting and call her but Dean didn’t want to disrupt her if she needed alone time. 

But when Cas had come around about a group of people kidnapping witches, Dean had gotten worried for Fawna and tired to call her. Getting nothing but her voicemail had frustrated him, and he’d gone straight to Cas to ask if he knew where she was. When the angel had said no, Dean had gotten into the Impala and driven to the store where they had first met. Finding the shop empty, and with signs that Fawna hadn’t been around for at least a couple of weeks, almost sent Dean into a panic. Fawna would never just abandon her shop, that much he was certain of.

He’d taken to going to asking about her in the small town near her shop, but none of them had seen or heard from her. Which was all adding up to Fawna being taken by someone or in some other sort of trouble. He had just taken out his phone to call Sam about what was going on, when an unknown number flashed on his screen. Part of him didn’t want to answer it, but this number wasn’t one he gave out to just anyone.

Answering the phone, but not saying anything a trick his dad had taught him. Never answer the phone unless you knew who was on the other end had been practically drilled into his head before the first time he’d been left alone with Sammy at the age of six. But it was Fawna’s voice spilling through the speaker, scared and just a little broken, not some random person who’d dialed the wrong number. “Fawna? Where are you?”

Hearing the phone ring for as long as it did felt like a lifetime, and the quiet on the other end of the phone nearly stopped her heart. She was so afraid that she dialed the wrong number, soon she could hear Dean’s gruff voice on the other end. She nearly broke down again right there, just knowing that Dean was on the other end of the phone.

“Yes, its me. -- I don’t really know where I am. A group of people took me, and I just woke up in a dirt lot. I don’t know how I got out of where I was...” Fawna felt useless as she spoke to Dean on the phone. She was no help to him at all and all Fawna wanted was something familiar. “Um-- I’m by this gas station. Its on the corner of two roads, Route 32 and.. Creek Road. I’m using a public phone.. That’s all I can really tell you. -- I don’t know if they are going to come back for me, Dean. I don’t think I can defend myself..” 

She was leaning heavily on the booth as she spoke. The adrenaline was really starting to wear off and her body was just starting to feel so heavy. She was trying not to get too worked up as well, the more tired she got the more emotional she tended to get. But she was going to try to stay level headed until Dean got to her. Once Dean was there Fawna could have her melt down.

“I want to be of more help.. I can try to find a highway, but I don’t have a cellphone or.. money. I was barely lucky enough for the guy in the gas station to let me have change for this call.” She was just spitting out ideas. Anything to just get her the hell out of here would do. Fawna closed her eyes taking in a deep breath just taking a moment to listen to Dean’s voice. It always relaxed her. He had become such a solid force in her life so easily and she was going to let him handle it. He was a brave man and Fawna trusted him to find her and save her.

[simxfawna]

Birthday Surprises

Fawna had been trying be as secretive as she possibly could when it came to what she had been doing the past couple of days. Behind closed doors and around corners Fawna had been trying to plan a nice birthday for Dean. When she had finally figured out the man’s birthday she went to ask Sam about their normal celebrations on his day. By the look on the youngest brother’s face it told her that celebration never seemed to happen. 

So she knew better than to make a huge deal about it all, but that didn’t mean she was going to ignore it flat out. Fawna loved to celebrate, but for the longest time she had been alone. The last time she had ever celebrated anything with anyone she was 13 years old. Ever since they Fawna had had fun with holidays all her own. 

She remembered how much she enjoyed the small festivities she did have. She remembered the birthdays she spent with her little sister hiding in the closet. Her parents were off buying drugs on the street, too addicted to their own issues to remember that they even had children. So the two children would sit in the closet and share a single cupcake they spent all day sneaking around to make. The birthday girl would get to blow out the candle and they would splint the unevenly cooked cupcake to have. If that made Fawna happy, just that one single thing, she hoped that her efforts wouldn’t be wasted on Dean.

The trouble was sneaking around Dean was so hard. She hated feeling like she was lying to Dean or not telling him the entire truth. She just wanted everything to be perfect for this. She wanted to make sure that he felt important and loved. She knew that out of everyone, he deserved so much more than he had. Dean deserved everything and Fawna would try her best to give that to him. 

So that’s why she had gotten up three hours earlier to keep working on all the festivities. She was preparing all of Dean’s favorite foods, some requiring a lot more perpetration and words than others. The blonde had gotten all the gifts she wanted to get for Dean, and wrapped them all as well. So these meals were the last thing she needed to finish up. But soon heavy footfalls had the girl scrambling to hide what she was cooking and wiping all the access baking ingredients onto her apron. 

[simxfawna]

Diary Entry One

Month 2 of Pregnancy 

Today was much harder than I expected it to be. It is the late evening now and I have closed up shop and I feel.. I can’t seem to find a word for what I feel. I feel so many things at once and I wonder if there is a word for all the emotions I have wrapped up in me. At times I am happy and excited to be having this little miracle but I am also angry and upset. I’m lonely but feel suffocated at the same time. Today was one of those days I woke up sad. I knew today was a doctor appointment day. Most people would be happy on these days, excited to see what is happening. While I am happy, beyond it. I just miss Dean. 

I have no idea where we stand anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. That scares me. I want to see Dean again, I want him to be able to happy with me. I want him to be at the appointments with me. I don’t want to be alone.. 

The only thing that seems to tide me over is knowing that he’s still okay. Castiel and Sam come by occasionally to check on me. They tell me everyone is well, I don’t ask about Dean. Part of me doesn’t want to know if he’s chosen to never see me again. I’m sure that they know his choice, but I would rather live in blind optimism. It’s sad, I know, but I just want to keep hoping. I want to believe that Dean will show up one day and have that smile on his face and the sweet look in his eyes.

I’ve started up more entries in this old book because of Dean. I want to be able to record everything that happens. I want to be able to tell him everything that happened so he feels like he didn’t miss anything, if he decides to return. Knowing Dean’s lifestyle, I would never hold his choice against him. It is his choice, he has no obligation to stay. I just want Dean happy and safe. If neither of those are with me, then that is how it works. Even if I don’t like that idea that is something I do have to live with it. 

I know I could learn to be happy. This baby does make me happy. I just love imagining how the baby is going to look. I’m not sure what gender I want the baby to be, but I know I want the little star to have Dean’s beautiful eyes. They always shine so bright and hold so much in them. 

Good news is, the baby is very healthy. They say the baby is growing a great rate and I already have a tiny little bump. Today was the first day I could hear the baby’s heartbeat, but I decided to decline the offer. I don’t want to experience it without Dean. He deserves to hear it as much as I do and I don’t want to take that away from him. So if it even turns out that I have to wait until the birth then I will. 

I’ve already started making a few little outfits for the baby. I’ve decided to nickname the little one star. So Dean can be My Moon and our little baby can be my Star. The first little outfit I made was a onesie that had little stars on it. I cannot wait until I see their little outfit on them.

I’m not sure when I should start shopping for new clothing myself. I have kidnapped a few of Dean’s shirts that I have been wearing. The smell is starting to wear off though, so hopefully Sam may be able to manage to get me a few.

Speaking of Sam, tomorrow is the normal day he shows up. I’ve planned on making him something to eat and having leftovers to give to Dean. I better start working on that before I get too tired.

Goodnight,

Fawna. 

[simxfawna]

Baby Blues

Fawna sat, nervously playing with her own fingers. She had been trying for a few days now to tell Dean the news. She just didn’t know how he was going to react and what would happen between them. At this point Fawna would have no idea what to do without Dean in her life, she was beyond in love with the man. And while she knew Dean did care for her.. she just sometimes worried. Before they had ever gotten together she saw that types of girls that Dean went for and sometimes when she was alone at night she wondered if he ever wished she was like those girls. She wasn’t very brash, didn’t really seem to as confident as those other girls so Fawna always worried. She worried that one day he’d wake up and grow tired of her, seeing that it seemed like she wasn’t the typical girl he went for.

And now, Fawna was terrifed that this could be the breaking point. She trusted Dean though, even if the worst happen Fawna knew that she could always depend on the man if she really needed it. She was going to have to be okay with any possible outcome that this would have. Maybe that is what took her so long to decide how to tell the man, she had to come to terms that this might not end the way she wants. 

She had been waiting for a lull in the hunts. Fawna didn’t want to tell Dean when he was on a hunt or before he was gearing up for  one. She didn’t want him to be distracted and seriously hurt himself so now, it was time. Fawna bit her lip nervously as she finally merged from the kitchen where she had been quietly nursing a cold coffee on her own. So now it was time to finally tell Dean.

She emerged into the main room of the bunker where Sam, Dean, and Cas sat. They all seemed fairly busy and she really was about lose her nerve until Castiel saw her. He had been the one who informed her. She had no idea until they had met in the kitchen days before and simply told her. He gave her a nod and it really did give her a little more encouragement. 

The blonde took a deep breath and made her way over to the eldest Winchester. She gently draped her arms around his neck happily bent down to kiss at the soft skin behind his ear. “Can we speak when you have a spare moment?” She asked him lightly. 

[simxfawna]

Plaid Shirt Days

After the accident Fawna spend a lot more time at the Bunker. She was afraid to be anywhere without one of the brothers with her. She just felt so much safer with them around. They made her so much more comfortable and actually really made her happy. When she had left in the past, she always ached to see her boys again. So having them both want her to stay around afterwards, Fawna wasn’t going to argue. 

But the only problem she had at this point was all her clothing was dirty. She really didn’t think ahead and started washing her clothing ahead of time, no she just had to wash it all together. The blonde quietly snuck into the eldest Winchester’s room while he was still asleep. She needed something to wear while her clothing was in the machine. So she slipped into his room with ease, something that she had done before. There were nights that she left her oils in his bedroom and had to get them in the morning. She hoped Dean wasn’t too upset that she would sneak into his room. But this time she was stealing. She just liked the way he.. smelled. There was something about that felt like home somehow. He was just warm and comforting and Fawna couldn’t get enough of that.

She quietly opened his closet door and took her time to grab the most worn shirt she could find. It would be the softest one he had. She smiled over at his sleeping form was she headed to the laundry room to stuff her clothing into the washer and undress to wash the clothing she was wearing before slipping on the comforting warm flannel. She left the few top buttons undone as she straightened the shirt out to her mid thigh. 

Once all her chores were done, she headed into the kitchen to start her daily rituals. She started on breakfast, a hearty one at that. She always started with bacon, making a pretty much mile high stack for the brothers to binge on. They both seemed to enjoy the bacon the most so she made a lot more of it. This morning was going to be waffles with fresh fruit and whipped cream for Dean. She went easy on the fruit with Dean’s plate, knowing Sam would prefer more the healthier food on his plate over anything else. Finally she made a few eggs, again giving more of those to Sam’s plate. She just focused on giving Dean the unhealthiest stack of waffles she could, even going as far as making homemade maple syrup. 

Fawna smiled softly as she swayed her hips to a song her in head as she started dipping things out on each of the plates before glancing over her shoulder hearing heavy footfalls of one of the brothers. 

[simxfawna]

Take Me Home

Fawna had no idea where she was.. and could hardly remember how she had gotten here. What the girl did remember was pain. Her body ached from the pain of the torture she received. All they kept asking was where the Winchesters hide out and what she was providing them with. Fawna was more than willing to give her life than ever give up her new little family. She refused to let them know what happened between her and the Winchester. The world needed the boys much more than her, so she was happy to protect them until her last breath.

That doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. Her body was sore with every step she took under the cover of darkness. She woke up in the middle of no where still covered in dirt and her own blood. Nothing she had never been though compared to the pain she was feeling now. But had no time to stop and worry about that. Fawna had to find a town or even rest stop. She needed to contact Dean, hoping he would be able to come and find her. 

The walk through the chilly night was long. But she was so happy to see a little town with one gas station with its lights on. She pushed through the door, dragging her hurt right leg along and shivered once she was in the warm heater. The man behind the counter looked very concerned upon seeing the messy girl. She shyly asked where the bathroom was and he wordless pointed to the back of the store. 

Once in the bathroom, she realized why he looked so concerned about her. The dirt that covered her face as caked on. Her normally blonde hair was brown with dirt and as if she wasn’t skinny enough already the food rations they gave her didn’t keep the meat on her bones. Frankly she didn’t even look like herself. Fawna looked like a shell of her former self. With shaking hands, Fawna turned the hot water on to try and was some of the dirt off her face and hands. Even with getting some of the dirt off, she still felt so dirty. 

It wasn’t until she was looking at the mirror again she realized she was crying. The tears were hot against her still cold cheeks as she finally broke down. She just hurt so much and she was terrified. Fawna didn’t want get taken again. She had just gone back to her shop to restock for the boys and ended up in some cold basement on the floor for weeks. She couldn’t remember if they had just dropped her off in the middle of no where or if she escaped, but she had to make sure they wouldn’t come back for her. 

Finally emerging from the bathroom, Fawna made her way back up front to the counter. “Do you have a phone I could borrow to make a quick phone call?” The man informed her of the payphone outside. Her face dropped realizing that she didn’t have any money to even pay for a call. But she guessed the man noticed and he ended up giving her a handful of change. With that act of kindness she nearly started crying again. She thanked the man and swore she paid him back but he just encouraged her to make her call. 

She made quick work of going outside and slipping into the phone booth. It took her a moment to recall Dean’s number but she had luckily memorized the eldest brother’s number. Her slim fingers quickly punched out the number and held the phone up to her ear. The line rung for a moment before it went silent. “D-Dean?” She asked gently into the reciver on the phone. “It’s Fawna... I-I need help, please.” The girl spoke quietly afraid that someone might hear her outside of the booth.

[taylorselfie]

moodboard.

[simxfawna]

Friend or Foe?

Fawna was humming a quiet tune as she cleaned her little shop. She owned a little plant shop in the front and a witch’s apothecary in the back. Fawna only did spells and potions by request, if one knew what she did. The blonde would do nothing but healing spells, seeing as they had little to no harm to the greater scheme of the universe. She loved healing people in fact, it made her feel whole again.

She had lost her little sister to an illness and that’s when Fawna got into witchcraft. She tried to bring her sister back from the dead and that ended in a huge disaster but Fawna then decided to use her new found powers for good. She wanted to save people from the heartache that she felt. It was an amazing feeling.

What wasn’t amazing now was hearing the chimes on her door right before closing. That was usually a late nighter begging her to save a nearly dead person. It hurt her when she saw things like that, it was hard to bring them back to life when they were that close to death. Fawna always tried, sometimes it worked but others time it didn’t. She hoped it wasn’t a late nighter.

The blonde came from the back of her store with her little broom, a small smile on her face. “Good evening, sir. What can I do for you? – Last minute date roses?”