Sincerely SanRenee

Journey to BE...

[sincerelysanrenee]

When I graduated from high school I remember reading “Oh the places you will go!” And with bright eyes…dreaming of ways to change the world….i would start college with my dream on my sleeve and realized the same world that I was attempting to change was actually constructed to change me…I would share my dream and people would discourage it or tell me maybe I had it all wrong…the God given gifts and talents that were given to me to make this dream a reality were slowly but surely traded out to have a seat at the table of life….among those who were once dreamers but groomed to live in “reality” and do what you can but with out over extending yourself….a place of disappointed people avoiding disappointment and fear of failure…and eventually those same people who laughed at me…i became just like them and laughed at those who wore their dreams on their sleeves…i became apart of the cycle…this weekend i went back to where it all began for me…and at one point I rounded one of those corners in a building I used to spend a lot of time in while in undergrad and it was as though I seen my younger self sitting there on her laptop typing away…finding ways to stay afloat on my dream…and it all came back…there is purpose…there is something greater…my dream may seem impossible in “reality” but nothing is impossible with God…over time i have settled for what i can do instead of trusting God to do what he can do…I share this story with you becsuse it’s time to get up from the table…its time to go retrieve what you have traded to be among the “realist”…dream again…conquer this world…dont allow it to conquer you…i dont know how large of an impact ill have on the world as a whole before leaving this earth…but i can say i plan to impact as many as I can in my process and journey to be who God has called me to be…allow my process to light a fire and rediscover your dream…and i can be sure that in doing so…”kid you’ll move mountains

"

Journey to be a dreamer Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

I decided to leave him and go my own way…He had done enough to me…and it would take me years to rediscover myself…but he couldn’t just let me go…just walk away…nope he had to hit me with one last blow…only this one was different because I embraced these words…I allowed them to dictate my movements and for the next 7 years I would spend my life trying to prove that I was worth being loved…searching and running from place to place and situation to situation….trading myself to prove that I wouldn’t be the one thing I feared…alone. You see my focus was off…it became about what I lacked instead of all that I had…I had embraced that I was damaged…and in many instances found myself withholding what God had brought me through…but I am not damaged and YOU are not either…In fact you have survived! :) God has brought you through so you can show the world His strength….and I am not alone :)…I may still be very much single BUT I havent been alone in a long time.

God has been with me and will always be…so as I reflect back on that day…If i had the opportunity I would go back and tell myself that YOU are beautifully and wonderfully made…and live your life to please God not to prove a point…His thoughts concerning you are always good….walk forward with your head high because you are better…and in the end those words will have no power over who you are and what you will do…someone out there is in a situation or has gone through a situation in which they feel unlovable or damaged….you are searching for something in places that it will never be found….search for it in God and may you take the kind words seriously and the unkind ones with a grain of salt… Journey to be loved….by God :) Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

I never thought I would be working in the field I am in...my plan was to be a lawyer in NY somewhere living in a high-rise lol...but Gods plan was for me to advocate for this group of Amazing people :). My very first day in this field about 6yrs ago a kid smacked me in the face lol...the average person wouldnt have probably come back but I did...and since then I have seen some amazing things and have learned great things from some amazing leaders in the field...but most importantly I have enjoyed the lessons that each of these children have taught me not only about myself but about God...these kids will love you even on your worst days :)...and its a love we dont have to work for or earn...they are just happy that you are there and there is beauty in that...so today I applaud all the servants in this field who have dedicated their lives to serving these children and making a difference...and I most definitely love these kids with all my heart...#autismawarenessmonth #dedicatedtoserve #loveGod #sincerelysanrenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

This post is dedicated to a dear friend of mine who has inspired me to think beyond the realms of my mind. :)

When I was little you couldn't tell me things were impossible! If I tried hard enough, I felt like I could do anything! I could fly, I could go to the moon, be the president, be the queen, be a ballerina  and the list goes on and on! My imagination would go to places only seen in dreams but they were real to me, I could reach out and touch that flying pig! But then I got older, and the world told me that a lot of these things were impossible. For example, I remember sitting in my fifth grade class and telling my teacher I wanted to be the President one day! She looked at me and told me that would be impossible and that I could never be president because I wasn't born on US soil. I went home that day and told my mom what she said and my mother indeed confirmed that I would have to be born on US soil to be a President but she looked at me and said "Through God all things are possible." As cliche as that sounds, it is actually a very deep statement. You see, man has made many rules and dictated many outcomes and as a result, it has placed limitations on our minds. We start to weigh the possible with the impossible and find ourselves pushing the impossible away more and more each day to spare ourselves the disappointment. But my friend looked at me the other day and she said "I am choosing to live in the impossible with God!" And in that moment I was reminded of the time I came home and asked my mother if I could be president, or the time I was told I would never receive a full ride to college because my grades were not high enough, or the time I was told I should switch my major in college because maybe I would do better at something else, or the time I was told I would NEVER be a teacher in my own classroom. All of those things seemed impossible, but I have been president (maybe not of the US but of several clubs and groups lol), I received a full ride to college, I graduate in the major that turned out to be great for me because I have been working in this field for 6 years, and I definitely have taught in my own classroom.

So as some of us have dreamed of impossible things, things that the world told us would never happen, I am here to tell you just like my friend told me "I am choosing to live in the impossible with God!" and I invite you too as well. It may not happen the way you think its going to happen or even in the time you think its going to happen, but have faith because God is a God of possible impossibilities.

Journey to be in the impossible

Sincerely SanRenee 

[sincerelysanrenee]

There are places we once knew to be beautiful...places we would dream of being....and then one day for some reason we left those places behind... maybe it was because we forgot how to dream and the less we revisited them the less appealing they became....or maybe it was because dreaming became a burden laced with "it will never happen for me"...and "I don't deserve"... and as a result of neglect our dreams began to decay taking on the likeness of this picture....but when I look at this picture I can't help but see the beautiful window.. and despite its "damaged" and "decayed" surroundings it still has maintained its beauty and allows light to shine through....as though it's waiting for you to come and sit in that chair and dream again....im here to tell you that your dreams are waiting on you....revive those forgotten places....find your way back to being YOU...after all whats life if we dont have dreams... This picture represents many dreams for me....dreams of a Godly marriage....children....a ministry that thrives and changes the lives of many...dreams that were beautiful that I would visit everyday and then one day my visits became few and far between...and then I eventually just stop visiting those dreams all together....my dreams became forgotten places...but just like that window....there are pieces of those dreams still alive and thriving and I'd like to think those thriving areas are just like that window....calling me to come back and dream again...making those places less forgotten... Journey to be...a dreamer Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

Makeup and Rainy Days

I started to hate rainy days when I was 22 because I feared water washing away my makeup. I would get up super early in the morning and dress covering majority of my body from head to toe and put makeup on my face to hide scaring and wounds healing from previous physical disputes with my (at the time) boyfriend. I could go on and on about the insanity of that relationship, but we will save that for another time. 

Today I was driving home and a happened to catch a look at myself in the mirror and noticed all the scars that I spent so much time hiding in the mirror are no longer even noticeable to the human eye. I am really the only one that can see them but ever time I look at them, it serves as a reminder of where I have been. On a normal day, I would have coward back and started to feel sad and depressed about what I have been through or obsess think about how since then I have not been in a relationship. I would have ran several scenarios from the past that went wrong with a man over and over and belittle myself about my faults and wrongs and how things would have been better if?...Or he would of been more interested if?...but today I looked at my scar and I smiled because outside my window is pouring down and I not only don't have on make up trying to hide my scars, but the reminder it serves has shifted in my mind.

I see what God sees, I see that he has made nothing (me) into something remarkable and when statistics and the world would normally count someone who has gone through what I have gone through out...I stand here with my right mind and loving God. Not only that, but my scar reminds me that I am consistently growing and my love for myself has increased leaps and bounds. According to the world, I should be broken...crazy and single for the rest of my life. And I would carry that around with me every time I looked at those scars in the mirror. So I would wear tons and tons of make up to hide it from everybody else because I spent enough time reminding myself   how "messed up" I was, I didn't need anybody else to remind me too.

I write this post today because someone out here has scars from something...and any time you see them, you are automatically set back and reminded of what has happened to you...that someone hurt you...that you messed up...that you once were a person who made decisions that may have hurt others or set yourself back. BUT I want to encourage you...I want to let you know that your scar is not a negative thing, but something that is a testament to what God has brought you through...people will always have their opinions about "who you are" and "who you should be" based off of your history, but God knows you better than you know yourself. 

I would never take back anything I have gone through, because it has helped me to connect to YOU (whoever you are) :)! And if what I have gone through up until this point will bring you closer to God then it was worth it. Love yourself! Embrace your scar and allow God to heal it and change your perspective so that the next time you look at it you see it as a means to love again, to try again..to be who God has called you to be. 

And on that day, my prayer is that you embrace life the way I have today...with the rain falling all over my face :)

Journey to be Healed 

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

How we are all MARY JANE

I know that at the beginning of the season, women everywhere complained and protested about Gabriel Union playing the infamous "side chick" role. BUT as the season came to a close today, I found myself proud of Mary Jane and her ability to bounce back in spite of what she had gone through during the season. One common theme that stood out to me was how we are ALL (men included) like Mary Jane. Mary Jane has dreams and goals just like any other person...she has issues and life problems just like any other person and she wants the life she dreamed of..just like any other person...but what makes us all like Mary Jane is our ability to trade the most valuable thing to obtain these dreams...ourselves. What does that mean? Well...first it starts will small things like "well I don't really agree with ______but I think its okay for this person to do it to me this one time." or "Well I have never really been a believer in ________ but I will do it for this because I really want ________." We start to trade things....pieces of ourselves to obtain this dream we have become fixated on because in our minds that dream equates happiness. We pass over the fact that we should never place our happiness in things or that we are loosing parts of ourselves in the process...because all we can see is the dream. The dream we worked so hard for....the dream that WE DESERVE...and just like Mary Jane we come to a place in the road where we look around and we see all that we have laid to waste in the process of trying to run for our dream...and we look at ourselves in the mirror and that person that you once knew..is no longer there...parts of them were traded for the next stepping stone to achieve the dream. Growth is necessary and in life you should never stop learning and striving to grow and be the best YOU you can be...but never submit or trade the core of who you are in for anything...you shouldn't have to bargain for your dreams...you can work hard to achieve them...but not at the cost of who you are...I feel like we were a bit hard on Mary Jane...yeah she was a "side chick" or she did some things that we didn't agree with...but at the end of the day how many times have we done things that we know were wrong and went against our character to obtain a dream or a glimpse of happiness...If there is one thing I learned from Mary Jane, it is that we all have a dream...but who you are should never fall victim to achieving it...hats of to you Mary Jane!  

[sincerelysanrenee]

#motivationforyourday no matter what the worlds standards judge you by...we were all created to be great in something....you may not have the next answer to the worlds biggest problem but you have been given the ability to be the best at what God has chosen you to do...and no world standard can take that away... #loveyourself #beyourself #journeytobe #great #youreagenius #embracelife

[sincerelysanrenee]

"Cause they don't seem to want you back and its got you askin...cause all you see is what you lack and not not what you packin.."-#jcole I seen this today...don't get caught up in the black and white....be who youre called to be...#loveyourself #perfectlyyou #messageoftheday #journeytobe #beinspired #youarebeautiful #youreastar

[sincerelysanrenee]

This can be applied to almost any situation in life....relationships....careers...personal goals....we all have things we want....things we are working towards....continue to work toward that thing and don't settle for anything less than that because YOU deserve the best of what life has to offer... #journeytobe #great #dreamcatching #reflectionsoftheheart #neversettleforless

[sincerelysanrenee]

C.S. LEWIS To love at all

This has made my day :)

[sincerelysanrenee]

Because it can exist :). My song of the day! Have faith!

Journey to Be....Loved

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

My song of the day! Slowly Surely by Jill Scottt

Sometimes you just have to walk away. 

Journey to Be....Free

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

"The Waiting Place…. …for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite or waiting around for Friday night or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil, or a Better Break or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants or a wig with curls, or Another Chance. Everyone is just waiting." -Dr. Seuss

Move Forward :) The waiting place is not a place to live in! 

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

Moving Forward

We spend a lot of our time thinking about that past seconds, the past hours, the past days...it goes on and on. We some times lay awake a night recounting what we should have done. "Maybe things would have been different if.." or " I would have been in a different place if..." We live in these places in our minds that never existed because of paths that we did not chose to take. We beat ourselves up for places that we missed out on seeing and going because we believe that we would be in better positions. In some cases this is true, we have all made some decisions that have set us back in many different ways. BUT we are still here to go the way we chose to go.

It starts with moving forward. Moving forward requires you to drop the "should haves" and the "could haves" and go forward and partake in all that God has for you. 

I remember this story I heard about a woman growing a garden. Every morning she would get up and she would come out and water this dirt patch. She would make sure the dirt was soft, on days it rained she would bring out a sun lamp, she would water it if it had not rained in a while and some times watch it for the entire day because she wanted to see a flower grow. At the end of each of these days, she would walk back to her house in disappointment because she didn't see any results in her hard work on this patch of dirt. For weeks she would tend to this dirt, the seasons would change and still no growth. Then one day, she was on her way out of her house to tend to her patch of dirt and she noticed something that she had never noticed before. There were flowers all around the patch of dirt that she was so focused on. The flowers were beautiful! She thought to herself "How could I have missed this?!" and so she decided to stop tending to her dirt patch and enjoy all that she had.

Life is like this from time to time. We get so caught up in trying to fix this or prevent that or do this or tend to that...that we miss all that is around us. God wants us to move forward. To take our hands off things and let him do what he does best :)..BE GOD. 

I encourage you all to let that "dirt patch" go! That "dirt patch" could be a person, a job, a past failure, a past hurt, pain, regret...anything! Let it go! Don't end this day in disappointment because your "dirt patch" isn't doing what you want it to do. Instead, chose to change you perspective and look at all that is around you. Enjoy what God has given you :) He will take care of the rest!

I challenge you to be healthy and to move forward today.

Journey to Be healthy and happy

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

To the start of my second year of Seminary :). My song of the day! Be Blessed yall!!!

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

I really feel like this...siiiiggghh here is to the long walk to class! lol :) Good Morning!