#journeytobe

[sincerelysanrenee]

When I graduated from high school I remember reading “Oh the places you will go!” And with bright eyes…dreaming of ways to change the world….i would start college with my dream on my sleeve and realized the same world that I was attempting to change was actually constructed to change me…I would share my dream and people would discourage it or tell me maybe I had it all wrong…the God given gifts and talents that were given to me to make this dream a reality were slowly but surely traded out to have a seat at the table of life….among those who were once dreamers but groomed to live in “reality” and do what you can but with out over extending yourself….a place of disappointed people avoiding disappointment and fear of failure…and eventually those same people who laughed at me…i became just like them and laughed at those who wore their dreams on their sleeves…i became apart of the cycle…this weekend i went back to where it all began for me…and at one point I rounded one of those corners in a building I used to spend a lot of time in while in undergrad and it was as though I seen my younger self sitting there on her laptop typing away…finding ways to stay afloat on my dream…and it all came back…there is purpose…there is something greater…my dream may seem impossible in “reality” but nothing is impossible with God…over time i have settled for what i can do instead of trusting God to do what he can do…I share this story with you becsuse it’s time to get up from the table…its time to go retrieve what you have traded to be among the “realist”…dream again…conquer this world…dont allow it to conquer you…i dont know how large of an impact ill have on the world as a whole before leaving this earth…but i can say i plan to impact as many as I can in my process and journey to be who God has called me to be…allow my process to light a fire and rediscover your dream…and i can be sure that in doing so…”kid you’ll move mountains

"

Journey to be a dreamer Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

I decided to leave him and go my own way…He had done enough to me…and it would take me years to rediscover myself…but he couldn’t just let me go…just walk away…nope he had to hit me with one last blow…only this one was different because I embraced these words…I allowed them to dictate my movements and for the next 7 years I would spend my life trying to prove that I was worth being loved…searching and running from place to place and situation to situation….trading myself to prove that I wouldn’t be the one thing I feared…alone. You see my focus was off…it became about what I lacked instead of all that I had…I had embraced that I was damaged…and in many instances found myself withholding what God had brought me through…but I am not damaged and YOU are not either…In fact you have survived! :) God has brought you through so you can show the world His strength….and I am not alone :)…I may still be very much single BUT I havent been alone in a long time.

God has been with me and will always be…so as I reflect back on that day…If i had the opportunity I would go back and tell myself that YOU are beautifully and wonderfully made…and live your life to please God not to prove a point…His thoughts concerning you are always good….walk forward with your head high because you are better…and in the end those words will have no power over who you are and what you will do…someone out there is in a situation or has gone through a situation in which they feel unlovable or damaged….you are searching for something in places that it will never be found….search for it in God and may you take the kind words seriously and the unkind ones with a grain of salt… Journey to be loved….by God :) Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

How we are all MARY JANE

I know that at the beginning of the season, women everywhere complained and protested about Gabriel Union playing the infamous "side chick" role. BUT as the season came to a close today, I found myself proud of Mary Jane and her ability to bounce back in spite of what she had gone through during the season. One common theme that stood out to me was how we are ALL (men included) like Mary Jane. Mary Jane has dreams and goals just like any other person...she has issues and life problems just like any other person and she wants the life she dreamed of..just like any other person...but what makes us all like Mary Jane is our ability to trade the most valuable thing to obtain these dreams...ourselves. What does that mean? Well...first it starts will small things like "well I don't really agree with ______but I think its okay for this person to do it to me this one time." or "Well I have never really been a believer in ________ but I will do it for this because I really want ________." We start to trade things....pieces of ourselves to obtain this dream we have become fixated on because in our minds that dream equates happiness. We pass over the fact that we should never place our happiness in things or that we are loosing parts of ourselves in the process...because all we can see is the dream. The dream we worked so hard for....the dream that WE DESERVE...and just like Mary Jane we come to a place in the road where we look around and we see all that we have laid to waste in the process of trying to run for our dream...and we look at ourselves in the mirror and that person that you once knew..is no longer there...parts of them were traded for the next stepping stone to achieve the dream. Growth is necessary and in life you should never stop learning and striving to grow and be the best YOU you can be...but never submit or trade the core of who you are in for anything...you shouldn't have to bargain for your dreams...you can work hard to achieve them...but not at the cost of who you are...I feel like we were a bit hard on Mary Jane...yeah she was a "side chick" or she did some things that we didn't agree with...but at the end of the day how many times have we done things that we know were wrong and went against our character to obtain a dream or a glimpse of happiness...If there is one thing I learned from Mary Jane, it is that we all have a dream...but who you are should never fall victim to achieving it...hats of to you Mary Jane!  

[sincerelysanrenee]

Because it can exist :). My song of the day! Have faith!

Journey to Be....Loved

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

My song of the day! Slowly Surely by Jill Scottt

Sometimes you just have to walk away. 

Journey to Be....Free

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

Moving Forward

We spend a lot of our time thinking about that past seconds, the past hours, the past days...it goes on and on. We some times lay awake a night recounting what we should have done. "Maybe things would have been different if.." or " I would have been in a different place if..." We live in these places in our minds that never existed because of paths that we did not chose to take. We beat ourselves up for places that we missed out on seeing and going because we believe that we would be in better positions. In some cases this is true, we have all made some decisions that have set us back in many different ways. BUT we are still here to go the way we chose to go.

It starts with moving forward. Moving forward requires you to drop the "should haves" and the "could haves" and go forward and partake in all that God has for you. 

I remember this story I heard about a woman growing a garden. Every morning she would get up and she would come out and water this dirt patch. She would make sure the dirt was soft, on days it rained she would bring out a sun lamp, she would water it if it had not rained in a while and some times watch it for the entire day because she wanted to see a flower grow. At the end of each of these days, she would walk back to her house in disappointment because she didn't see any results in her hard work on this patch of dirt. For weeks she would tend to this dirt, the seasons would change and still no growth. Then one day, she was on her way out of her house to tend to her patch of dirt and she noticed something that she had never noticed before. There were flowers all around the patch of dirt that she was so focused on. The flowers were beautiful! She thought to herself "How could I have missed this?!" and so she decided to stop tending to her dirt patch and enjoy all that she had.

Life is like this from time to time. We get so caught up in trying to fix this or prevent that or do this or tend to that...that we miss all that is around us. God wants us to move forward. To take our hands off things and let him do what he does best :)..BE GOD. 

I encourage you all to let that "dirt patch" go! That "dirt patch" could be a person, a job, a past failure, a past hurt, pain, regret...anything! Let it go! Don't end this day in disappointment because your "dirt patch" isn't doing what you want it to do. Instead, chose to change you perspective and look at all that is around you. Enjoy what God has given you :) He will take care of the rest!

I challenge you to be healthy and to move forward today.

Journey to Be healthy and happy

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

To the start of my second year of Seminary :). My song of the day! Be Blessed yall!!!

Sincerely SanRenee

[sincerelysanrenee]

It's alright :) My song for the day! Afternoon yal!