lil big tra$h

you everf eated dirt? its kinda cool.. but it burns too... yeah.

[sincerelyscrewtape]

eat the pain pepper, tummy hurt

we, as a species, are evolutionarily flawed

[assignedfaggatbirth]

pffft who needs "engineers"? If it fall down it fall down

[sincerelyscrewtape]

such is the way of the world

[afknows]

THEY DID IT! THOSE CRAZY SONS OF BITCHES DID IT!!!!

[sincerelyscrewtape]

if I pet a frog I have to wear gloves and if I'm walking in the garden I'm looking out for slugs

if it is sunny out when I'm going for a walk you'd better believe I'm not wearing sunblock

because

there's dirt all over the place so I'll take some of that dirt and I'll put it on my face

put it on my skin and rub it all in

because that's how you fight

melanoma

[sincerelyscrewtape]

black walnut is too strong for me but naychur good capitalism bad so i eat my yard nuts

[sincerelyscrewtape]

Time to feed the boys!

the babies, the gorls, the birds, the fellas, the crew, the gang, the e

c row s 

they musts  eatlkd = ciios consume

[sincerelyscrewtape]

a very chunky cat

perched upon the chimney, silhouetted against the sunrise. small world.

[sincerelyscrewtape]

Our bones! They hurt! 

[sincerelyscrewtape]

i just think that we need more songs about eating leaves

[sincerelyscrewtape]

OH! I get it now! Hozier has taken David Bowie's seat on the throne as goblin king! this makes much sense.

[sincerelyscrewtape]

at this point I'm wonderin if I really m goblin or if I just play Skyrim too often

[sincerelyscrewtape]

i wanna make a dirt cake and feed it to my friends

are my friends earthworms or am i mean? it's up for interpretation.

[sincerelyscrewtape]

It is chew a clock again

you know what that means! it is time for-

*carefully opens all 16 pockets on my cargo pants and starts gently scooping out hundreds of tiny crabs*

this.

[sincerelyscrewtape]

this whole time we were looking for shinies, cool rocks, and bugs when the REAL shinies, cool rocks, and bugs were the friends we found along the way..

and also the broken glass and dead caterpillar that I found. his name is goyle.

[sincerelyscrewtape]

what if

now hear me out

we fell? in love? and lived on the homestead where we grow and forage everything?? and we can go on little picnic adventures so see froggz and collect shinies?

please RSVP

[sincerelyscrewtape]

There is...

A cricket in my air vents... just... sitting... listening... waiting... PLOTTING...

Oh yeah, and screaming with her legs every time I let my guard down.

So evil. Putrid. Nasty. Loud. Mean. Ugly.

She's perfect WHAT DO I DO