bring out the dancing lobsters

I don't use this account anymore

[xavierinstitute]

When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city to see a marching band.

Melania Trump (via xavierinstitute)

[connswambo-deactivated20231204]

OK WHICH ONE OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS SOLD YOUR SOUL TO SATAN FOR THIS SHIT

[zechv]

why get thinner when you can get more dinner

[nico-di-angelato]

when ur friend is watching one of ur fav tv shows but u dont wanna give away any spoilers 

[singitforthecal]

I'm gonna marry GirlsTalkBoys

[singitforthecal]

Michael: do you talk about me?

Me *talks about him 24/7*: ...shit

[singitforthecal]

Michael: who YOU gonna call?

Me: I'm gonna call 911 because I feel fucking attacked

[calumsboyfriend]

me: you know what i think i’m finally getting over 5sos. like, i still love their music but there’s so much drama and the fandom can be so toxic so i don’t know if they’re still my favourite ba-

girls talk boys:

[nomurra-deactivated20181229]

I’m my own woman. First, last, and always!

[pajamaben]

Rules for meeting a dog:

1) be cool

2) pet it

3) do not steal it

4) stop running from the owner

5) put it down

6) this isn’t worth jail time

[fuckabledarkunicorn]

[clemhoe]

okay but how broad is he?

[michaelssos]

Michael: ‘I like your eyes, I like your biceps and I like your hair.’

[hovseofcards]

he is adorable 😍

[hotdamn5sos]

mitchycollins: I feel so at home in your arms @calumhood

mitchycollins: Here’s another one because we are lyke suh cute 😘💅🏼 @calumhood

[vampiregerards]

sir this is your great grandmother’s funeral can you please stop saying mmm whatcha say after every pause

[gay4irwin-blog]

x