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Eating Disorder Rant

You know whats fucked up?

It took almost dying to finally be happy with my weight. Like 92 lbs hospitalized for organ failure. Dying fucking hurts. Like a lot. And trust me when I tell you dying isnt pretty. my face was pale, grey, and sucken in. I looked like a corpse. But after getting dressed for the first time (out of hospital gowns) sliding on size 0 skinny jeans with ease room to spare. A shirt that once was too tight now draping off my collarbones. I was fucking happy. Standing in the bathroom grinning ear to ear. Suddenly the pain didnt matter nothing did I was small. Tiny in fact. And I pranced around that hospital like a weightless little fairy and enjoyed my brief moment of bliss… And now that im “recovered” im willing accept all the side effects. All of it. The headaches. The hair loss. The fainting. The lack of body heat. The organ failure. The pain. Because to me nothing could ever compare to the happiness I felt when I saw how small I was…

inritum

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

ghostdog07

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

deathklaue

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

doryishness

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS.

victoriaringsinyourears

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT

lenshade

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

themixedbagofwhat

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

wodkat

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

acstiel

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

juststrokemyglabella

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

adweeb-deactivated20160228

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

redandbrunette

i want you to stay for one day and one nigh with me and give me sp much love i dont have to cry of lonliness tonight, every night

swiftaylrs

no bUT THE LAST TIME I DID THIS SHIT I WISHED MEETING MY IDOL AND IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE I FCKING GOT THE FCKING EMAIL SAYING I WAS GOING TO MEET TAYLOR OH MY GOD

da-vincis-protege

liKE THIS SHIT ACTUALLY WORKS PPL

thatgirlwithadhd

So much of managing your mental health is just…learning to parent yourself like you’re a toddler

Like, “Honey, it’s 10 pm and you’ve been up since four in the morning, no wonder you’re emotional. Plus all you’ve had to eat today was three chocolate truffles and a half a protein drink. Make yourself some scrambled eggs and peas, you can even put them in separate bowls so they don’t touch. Then go to bed. You can do more fun things tomorrow, but first you need to sleep. Okay?”

ituckyouinmypocket

.

In the old days we didn’t call this managing mental health, we called this managing being an adult.

.

thatgirlwithadhd

Interesting, that.

See, I’m five years into adulthood. I have a college degree (a few in fact), a car, insurance payments, a job, yada yada. I ostensibly joined the Grown Up Club a few years back.

But, having grown up with a number of undiagnosed disorders and mental illnesses, I never learned a healthy style of self-talk.

If I’m honest, between depression and anxiety, the way I grew up talking to myself was abusive. I’m not kidding; if the things I thought to and about myself were said aloud to someone else, it would be considered verbal and emotional abuse.

So this idea of treating myself like a small child? With the same loving firmness and compassion?

This is a radical idea for me.

This is me learning to stop those abusive thought patterns, and talk to myself in a kinder, healthier way.

And it doesn’t have much to do with adulthood. I know adults who have treated themselves unkindly this way for many years. A healthy relationship with yourself doesn’t just sprout once you’re an adult; you have to develop it.

Those are my thoughts anyway. I hope they make sense.

carmen-hates-carbs

Meanspo

All I ever hear from you is excuses! “They made me eat” “I was with family” “People were noticing” As long as you’re this fat no one actually gives a fuck if you eat. You know you’re just making yourself think that so you can stuff your pig face. You’re such a wanna-be-rexie honestly. It is pathetic that it has taken you THIS long to lose so little. Yeah yeah yeah “slow progress is still progress” and FAT is still FAT. You could be 10, 15, 20 POUNDS lighter than you were last time you came crying with all your excuses. But no… you’re still fat, sad, and pathetic. If you go 1 week without making an excuse to eat you will see how much better off you are. I bet you would drop 5-10 lbs depending on how fat you are right now. Think about that for a moment… all you have to do is stop making your silly little excuses. Literally nothing is stopping you. The only one forcing food down your throat is you.

forever-delicate

fate

via weheartit

eastafrician-deactivated2018041

im that friend that gives u lectures about life but does everything wrong

lohver

sometimes people don’t come back.

and sometimes that’s okay.

hipstered

date the person who says, “have fun, be safe, and call if you need anything” not the person who gets mad at you for going out w/o them

itsthedepressedgirlagain

freckledthin

Supersize vs superskinny: weighing in at only 6 stone

Me: …..how??

S vs S: she only eats 1500 a day!!!!1!!!¡

My disordered ass:

itsthedepressedgirlagain

skinnyykiddo

when my body dysmorphia hits

starvingskeletonz

I can’t wait for sweater weather so I can get insanely skinny and no one will ever know until it warms up again and I’ve gone through this crazy transformation beneath my oversized clothes right in front of them and they never had a clue