🌘🥀🌒

“I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me." "How happy the lover, How easie his Chain, How pleasing his Pain! How sweet to discover, He sighs not in vain."

[mademoiselleclipon]

Nyaueth

[iloveamelia-deactivated20190212]

i deserve unrestricted access to old churches and castles i want to know all the secrets

[southdownswitch]

i work in a castle and have unrestricted access and let me tell you sometimes knowing all the secrets……is worse

[hummingbird-hooligan]

please share with us the secrets

[hawkate]

employer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness?

me: probably just like who I am as a person

[egg-in-the-basket-deactivated20]

me: I should shower! it will energize me me, after showering: so…sof and cleen .. .. must na p

[beeshibe]

my mom just came to me and ranted about how everyone is making this facebook status that says, “raising teenagers is like nailing jello to a tree”. she was so baffled by this because she said, “you were pretty easy to raise as teenagers. all you did was sleep and eat.” 

so to prove some point she’s going to nail a small cup of jello to a tree. 

[beeshibe]

she’s so pleased with her self

incredible

parents are weird 

[voidbat]

yeah but this is about as accurate as it gets.

you say “nail jello to a tree” and most people think jello all by itself.

but if you put any actual thought into what you’re doing and then give it just a little support

well gosh. look what happens.

please tell your mom good job.

[mother-teresa-with-a-dick-deact]

a shitpost became a teachable moment

[myitsy-bitsysweettooth-deactiva]

[somecutething]

[thrusticus]

[tastefullyoffensive]

(via teejus)

[ahvei]

in case y'all wanna follow these playlists

Heady bros

white dudes who look like they like rap

basic 20-30s

30+

quiet ppl

POC

fucking hipsters

WM early 20s

early 20s fem

there are many other gems on this dude’s account

[lets-talk-about-sects]

[horrorfixxx]

[softfrnk]

me, rubbing my bloodshot eyes as i run my other hand through my greasy jet black hair: i love my chemical romance

[disaster-punk-deactivated202112]

@nevergenders

[classical-carp]

ok, i don’t think i’ve ever related to a tweet more in my life

[i-hate-life-so-so-much]

[blackfairypresident]

what do you mean theres soviet union fanfiction

[ubernoir]

by Adrien Amilha

[swarnpert]

my boys zachariah and ezekiel going the fuck off