M Ilya @sittelleverae - Tumblr Blog

historians say they were like father and son

#get out of the frame!! the young master is having his portrait taken!#history remembering seb for being a hopeless little freak is hilarious 2 me #just Entirely Enamoured with this evil little lad #emphasis on freak. i imagine that the nature (and Circumstances) of their relationship is something that people will argue over. A lot.#making people uncomfortable since the 19th century #sebastian being in All of ciel's photos.. lord phantomhive what do you mean by this #really very fond of this idea #sebaciel #ciel phantomhive #sebastian michaelis #black butler #kuroshitsuji #my art #maybe that can be a tag now #i've never done anything like this before. fuck it we ball #“eighth” is a random number

sittelleverae

vibe rn is Iceage in the background while I fumble my Guin jumps for the 91833773th time

sittelleverae

(not directed at me) video game btw

got a new phone; tried my hand at decorating.

#spent ages on this knowing full well that this is a shitty placeholder case I'll soon be replacing #hashtag bad decisions #only special interest unaccounted for is fountain pens lol #rlly just threw the whole brain onto there #I've never used a see-through case before #so sans shoving post-cards between my mac and its Speck case this is my first go wt this sort of thing :)#none of this is actually stickered on 😭 they're all just linked in the back with slivers of masking tape 😭#nice and silly activity (yelled at wall >5 times over the finicky shit)#ts radiates autism in waves i think #let it be known that my lock screen is sebaciel #(ano pa ba /j)#...my home screen is the lycée my ocs go to 🚬🚬#ilyaposting 🌻#ft. the scanner on my brother printer lmao

vibe rn is Iceage in the background while I fumble my Guin jumps for the 91833773th time

#why the fuck do i still play this game #:)#ilyaposting 🌻

misidentified one of the insect specimen scans i included in the literary collection i submitted to my humanities prof need to EXPLODE MYSELF posthaste

#it's even worse honestly because i've drawn this specific species before?? its fucking wing patterns??? I SHOULD KNOW THIS #im bloody mortified my prof cannot be into entomology.. do not catch my stupid mistake please #ilyaposting 🌻

transsexualgriffith

i make this post every couple of months but like at least i understand that sebastian is multifaceted in his approach to human relationships which causes alot of diverging opinions on the intend of eroticism within his interactions but with undertaker i really dont know how youre interpreting him as anything else than Weird and Offputting Pedophile thats like his whole thing

#no like that's literally humbert humbert #<- prev #the generationally pseudo(?)-incestuous humbertsian wretch is a phantomhive family heirloom im afraid #it's in the will. Or something.

krandelo

so this challenge has been going around! someone sent me it, and i decided to do it with my lovely illya...i dont even use 3d models for art but it was fun to try and see what its like!

#ILLYAAAA

Uni. topic-adjacent rant

[gameshow voice] Is It Pride or Is It The Money?

my parents make it sound like a money thing. Which is in some ways fair but in the larger sense, fucking rubbish. It's rather that they're that genre of middle class who think they're Poor, Actually, because their phone contacts run the range of Old-Money-Owning a Private Island <- and -> Spending One's Holidays on that Same fucking Island, and I am just endlessly frustrated, because I do know what The Income is, and I do know they could most certainly make it work, if they wanted to, which they don't. And im endlessly frustrated with these fucking people who so often deride the 'masses' of this fucking country, who do have the privilege of connections, who can afford to book a hotel over a taking an extra drive to not-even-daily work, fucking etcetera, while simultaneously dragging their feet over getting my fucking eyeglasses up-to-date, because of how expensive it is (rel. cheap over here, mind you; still haven't gone yet 😭), and how wasteful and expensive I am. Fucking shove it.

#Wack that the the island thing is literally an actual scenario jesus fucking christ #My commie friends getting blemished by association 😭#comically evil parents #too busy personifying reddit strawmen to be in any way sensible #New lenses are like. Sub 50 usd max. usually 25. And I'm blind as hell with fairly nice glasses #Lowballing income by a million or two isn't gonna get me that fin. aid lmfao. Who are you kidding here. Crazy work #Oh so you do know what you earn. Thought you forgot #Yung parang Privileged In-Theory Lang HAHAHA #ilyaposting 🌻

sittelleverae

my parents are Evil Horrendous for a profound panoply of reasons, but the current top-notcher is that they've outright denied me the opportunity to decide for myself which university I want to sell my soul to, which fucking sucks I think

there's a bit of existentialism in it since I've been raised to want to attend the same university both of my parents and most of their friends (and their siblings, even) did, and to dream of that university's sickass embroidered sash on me come graduation day, and etcetera etcetera such & such, all that fuzzy tosh; and now I'm turning away from all that to look onto other (blue-er, iykyk) pastures, which is—weird, a little bit? I don't know.

When I'd moved into a space closer to indifference about that either-or, more concerned with whether or not those Really Great Universities would even let my mediocre arse in at all (i.e. I'd be lucky to get into either of them, so Who Fucking Cares which of them's supposed to be better), I'd used to say in mostly-jest that if it came down to it, I'd have it by coin toss.¹ But now i actually quite like the Other University. But i dont know how much of that 'like' is a genuine admiration for the fact that the Other Uni.'s students get to go around doing things like Surveying for Insects!!! (!! beetles and beetles and species discoveries by-the-handfuls apiece)—and, for that matter, get to have such a bloody brilliant choice of electives—which would be far femoved from what I'd be doing at the Only Option with the course I'd been shunted off to; and how much of it is just wistful rose-lensed moping that the choice of it hadn't been up to me in the end. And now the stupid sodding coin-flip's gotten much too complicated, and I need a fucking break, yeah?

¹ they'd only let me apply to two universities to begin with, with the Other Uni. having been more of an afterthought even then

sittelleverae

my current decision tree for (1) ending up in the OO and (a) in my current admitted course is to lock in for a semestre or two to meet the OU's transfer requirements, and throw my applications at the gate until one of them sticks. With some sui-bait-mail flung in my parents' direction to encourage compliance via reminder of precedent (my thanks for the suggestion, o' wise IRL) (/j) (/?).

If I (b) get off the waitlist for my first-choice course at the OO? Would most certainly be different run than that same course at the OU, but I'd live with it happily enough I think! It would have been my ideal outcome not too long ago, and it still appeals to me just as much as it did (i.e. quite a lot! but still not as much as, if that makes any sense?)

However: a constant for (1) is the consolation of sorts that the logistics of having a snake would be more of a sure thing that it would have been at the Other Uni. And I do intend to finagle a snake out of the situation (whom I'll be calling the Incredibly Deadly Viper, Dr. Montgomery Montgomery; 'Uncle Monty' for short... wink!)

Silver linings.

#The pet-friendly angle had actually been a point made when an IRL had been deliberating that either-or for themselves lol #Pets being a sweet lovely cat and a Bitchy Bite-y Menace (affectionate)#Nipped my elbow our first meeting <3 #ilyaposting 🌻

my parents are Evil Horrendous for a profound panoply of reasons, but the current top-notcher is that they've outright denied me the opportunity to decide for myself which university I want to sell my soul to, which fucking sucks I think

there's a bit of existentialism in it since I've been raised to want to attend the same university both of my parents and most of their friends (and their siblings, even) did, and to dream of that university's sickass embroidered sash on me come graduation day, and etcetera etcetera such & such, all that fuzzy tosh; and now I'm turning away from all that to look onto other (blue-er, iykyk) pastures, which is—weird, a little bit? I don't know.

When I'd moved into a space closer to indifference about that either-or, more concerned with whether or not those Really Great Universities would even let my mediocre arse in at all (i.e. I'd be lucky to get into either of them, so Who Fucking Cares which of them's supposed to be better), I'd used to say in mostly-jest that if it came down to it, I'd have it by coin toss.¹ But now i actually quite like the Other University. But i dont know how much of that 'like' is a genuine admiration for the fact that the Other Uni.'s students get to go around doing things like Surveying for Insects!!! (!! beetles and beetles and species discoveries by-the-handfuls apiece)—and, for that matter, get to have such a bloody brilliant choice of electives—which would be far femoved from what I'd be doing at the Only Option with the course I'd been shunted off to; and how much of it is just wistful rose-lensed moping that the choice of it hadn't been up to me in the end. And now the stupid sodding coin-flip's gotten much too complicated, and I need a fucking break, yeah?

¹ they'd only let me apply to two universities to begin with, with the Other Uni. having been more of an afterthought even then

#I am easily swayed by entomology propaganda #Most susceptible guy ever #They were jangling those specimen vials around like shiny keys. Autism baiting. Should be illegal #They're also (supposedly) a more accommodating environment than the OO. Can't possibly imagine why my parents wouldn't like that... /s #ilyaposting 🌻

sittelleverae

Fuckass culminating research project. I'm in a group of three, and the other two have been going on and on and on to our adviser about how i don't do my share of the work, and it all went to shit, and I'm pretty sure the only reason im not Dead rn is former-student nepotism.

Uhh >looks inside, and ive consistently been at least 30% of the manuscript, not to mention the first fucking chapter being p much Copyright VeryObviously Ilya, and as of Right bloody Now i am 55 PERCENT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING, IN A TRIO PROJECT, and i am NINETY for the chapter that DISCUSSES OUR RESULTS, i.e. the POINT OF THE THING, very literally 12 pages out of 14, and our projected deadline for the finished paper is supposed to be TODAY, and i dont see any of you opening the docs, so can the both of you just shut the fuck up

i fear i'm on the verge of violence, my friend (talking to my dog, who doesn't know wtf im on about).

sittelleverae

'checking rn will u be adding anything else' i am single-manning 3 out of 6 chapters what if magsulat ka

#get ur bitch arse typing on a keyboard before i [redacted]#mf think they're a supervisor or what #ilyaposting 🌻

Fuckass culminating research project. I'm in a group of three, and the other two have been going on and on and on to our adviser about how i don't do my share of the work, and it all went to shit, and I'm pretty sure the only reason im not Dead rn is former-student nepotism.

Uhh >looks inside, and ive consistently been at least 30% of the manuscript, not to mention the first fucking chapter being p much Copyright VeryObviously Ilya, and as of Right bloody Now i am 55 PERCENT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING, IN A TRIO PROJECT, and i am NINETY for the chapter that DISCUSSES OUR RESULTS, i.e. the POINT OF THE THING, very literally 12 pages out of 14, and our projected deadline for the finished paper is supposed to be TODAY, and i dont see any of you opening the docs, so can the both of you just shut the fuck up

i fear i'm on the verge of violence, my friend (talking to my dog, who doesn't know wtf im on about).

#throwback to when i & one other guy got called out during a different paper project for not being done w our work close to the deadline #Fair in this case #But then the day of the deadline comes around and that fucking twit in my research project who im also grouped with here #Who was nodding along for the call-out #Shows up in my dms begging me to help finish their designated section of the paper #Because theyd barely even started :)#The shit i have to deal w #can you mfs free me from ts alr bro. the lads want me to watch heated rivalry 🙄#ilyaposting 🌻

sittelleverae

sometimes I think about how my irksome father of dubious political leanings finished That Gay Vampire Show interview with the vampire long before I and any of my friends did, and i move another inch closer to Exploding. Jumpscare of my life when I caught a glimpse of louis on his phone one day

sittelleverae

Dubious Dad is a Frodo/Sam shipper

#dms calling him 'Fudanshi Father' oblivion calls me i fear #OBLIVION'S LANGUID WING IS CALLING ME!!#Dm > Fudanshi Father who [horrible gov regime capitalist shit]#better to shoot me my friend #ilyaposting 🌻

ATTENTION

If you see this you are OBLIGATED to reblog w/ the song currently stuck in your head :)

#Fontaines D.C. – A Lucid Dreamer #<- live version of A Lucid Dream #&#Advent Call – Memories of Our Dreams #<- underground 2000s-ish filipino rock band

'Accidental acrostrich' is a horrible horrible joke and exactly the kind of pretentious tosh i visit thenabokovian.org for. I love that site so much

#context is a random forum post by dmitri nabokov on pushkin contemporary derzhavin's last poem lol #but really; genuinely fascinating discussions to be found on there #where else am i supposed to find Any talk abt my (terribly unknown) fave nabokov work (orache) </3 #ilyaposting 🌻

sittelleverae

admissions results season. my parents only let me apply to two (2) universities, and they're literally the fucking top 1 and 2 universities in the fucking country. my parents are fucking insane. i'm fucking terrified.

sittelleverae

interrupted my own Weeks of suicidal Wallowing with the silly mental image of my friends needing to work out how to divvy up the fancy bicycle I would have foisted upon them at expiry. my friends who do not know how to bike. honourable mention to the singular G1 monster high doll, my book collection, barong tagalog, and the Fucking Sword (& associated tailcoat)

#it's several thousand USD worth of fancy road bike though. they can work with that #because ilya has no other uhh items of worth beyond only literally the PHP equivalent of like 50 USD and two bottles of fountain pen ink #guy with kitted-out road AND mountain bikes but wears broken eyeglasses (his parents have the shitty priorities of fucking college students #^ to quote some friends #can't even get my glasses fixed myself because They Dont Let Me Leave The bloody House. do they think im FIVE??#on a more serious note: my mother's called me retarded before. Mfs just don't think their autistic kid can be trusted w Agency lol.#Eugh #ilyaposting 🌻

admissions results season. my parents only let me apply to two (2) universities, and they're literally the fucking top 1 and 2 universities in the fucking country. my parents are fucking insane. i'm fucking terrified.

#'[other universities] are too easy to get into' THAT'S THE WHOLE BLOODY POINT!! I HAVE NO FALLBACKS!!!!#('other universities' still being top universities lol. fucking dicks)#filo parents r alr notoriously overbearing but my parents r overachievers #eghrrgg imo i did terribly on both tests. i.e. i'm COOKED #ilyaposting 🌻

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M Ilya