Untimely reviews and misc faggotry

[sixdayslate]

Jim Kirk vs West Palm Beach

As it turns out, a LOT of things are related. William Shatner and West Palm Beach, probably not a stretch. Some of you may be zero degrees from that scenario, but here’s one more. 

In the recent pandemic, you know, some of us have hunkered down and others decamped to sunnier or more remote areas. As ever, I am in my place! I bought a bromeliad, and with any hope, we’ll both last til the New Year. Meanwhile, my dear friend is staying with his friend’s employer at a mansion on the Florida coast, which will be relevant later. 

I personally have passed some of my abundant spare time watching an NBC show I had never seen before about a spacefaring crew exploring the broader Milky Way. It’s pretty good. The characters are charming. One fault, the plots are a little repetitive. For example, every few episodes they meet an alien who offers them their every wish and desire and have to decide whether it’s a dream come true or a faustian bargain. It got me thinking. What could these 1960s astrofables tell us of the modern era? 

Meanwhile, Dispatches from the Florida coast: 

1) Life grand! martinis every third hour. House staff remote, but sending grilled lobsters. 2) Able to work, but work is grim, many pink slips to deliver. 3) I’m alone, maybe a prisoner. I have no free will. 4) Ferrari rides to clear the mind. 

Herein, the overlap. If you’ve seen this NBC show, “james t kirk” captains an important ship for a “federation” that recognizes sovereignty of all member planets (in exchange for mining rights or strategic position). They also run into more capable beings who routinely offer eternal peace, immortality, unending wealth if Cpt. Kirk would only submit to their lifestyle. But as the “good guys” James uniformly replies: What you offer us, is not freedom/wealth/ happiness. To us, it is a prison. It is not humanity.

You know Auntie Gwendolyn has a small luxury or two. As I often say, nice things are nice. But who would give up their autonomy for a ride in a ferrari and south florida landscaping? There are strange worlds and strange beings in this galaxy. 

[sixdayslate]

THIS ONE’S ABOUT HULU DOCUMENTING GAY HISTORY, possibly on purpose

So there’s this mess of a re-run on Hulu called “Hot gay comics” from 2008. You remember, it was on the Here network...Looks like it was shot at an overly lit corporate banquet...No?

To clarify, the SHOW is a mess not the guest commedians. I will watch every documented second of gays telling us what was comically and sexually relevant in 2008.

Depressed lesbians, yes please

Upbeat depressed lesbians, yes please

Washington Heights bears, yes please

It was pre-gay-marriage. Partly employed comics could afford to live in Manhattan. They were basking in the relative calm of the early Obama presidency. See, you forgot about back then didn’t you?

Frank Decaro is in one of the first few episodes, so check it out for that at least. The crowd did not keep up with him. But you’ll get it, cause he’s funny

Know your history and crack a book. By which I mean watch Hulu or reruns of the match game. Dissertations on gay history can be really dry.

[sixdayslate]

Wow, there’s an episode of Futurama from June 2003 -

it’s the one where Roseanne “your guide to the world of facts” defines ambergris -

in which there’s a joke about Hermes telling his son Dwight that buying 5 shares of Amazon for $0.01 is a risky investment.

Guess Dwight showed him.

[sixdayslate]

THIS ONE IS ABOUT FIRE ISLAND AND DAVE HOLMES

Another All-text post. Should I embed things ? I’ll work on it. 

Ms. Gwendolyn has things to do besides create graphics for you. It’s the summer after all. And guess what she just did on fire island?! Mostly organic hallucinogens and beach time. One long afternoon with a boy. Quality over quantity, my dears.

Meanwhile, my beach read was Dave Holmes memoir Party of One. He writes sentences like I speak - never ending and when they finally do it’s about the next paragraph. This is not a disparagement, this is how we midwestern people talk. Now what is the midwest, you ask? My working definition is all the states in the Northwest ordinance plus Missouri. Iowa is a wild card. 

Dave Holmes is a wonder, a gift to our community, at least 60% of a John Waters. BUT DO YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION?! Sure MTV, but you know what else? Dave writes, smartly, about things that matter, currently! 

FOLLOW HIS WORK AND SUPPORT THE COMMUNITY!

To Dave Holmes, personally.

 Like the podcast you host, what makes “Party of One” engaging is your willingness to be forthcoming. What makes it wonderful is how vulnerable you are - perhaps a skill learned from music. My god, he walked you around that campus twice. Tears!

I thought you might like to know that younger gays are literally trodding your footsteps. NW corner of 89/2nd is now casual Argentinian and still a great happy hour (order the corn empanadas). GAF is still an Irish shit-show. Elaine’s (RIP) is something bland and overpriced. 

In conclusion

The BEST PART of fire island is the quinquagenarian Lesbian unabashedly doing her favorite deep cuts on open mic at the Ice Palace. Like that lesbian, Dave, you have touched my heart. 

Incidentally,

If you don’t know, LISTEN TO HOMOPHILIA. It’s a podcast exclusively for queer stories with gay hosts Dave Holmes and Matt McConkey. 

[sixdayslate]

El Royale :: 7 Psychopaths

Are they the same movie?

I liked them both (point for similarity)

multiple maniacs (point)

quaker ~ fake priest (half point)

Above cleric + beloved WOC (half point)

Ends in conflagration (point)

Vietnam is randomly involved (point)

Rockwell vs Hamm (points all around)

Plot holes vs there were less than 7 psychopaths (point)

[sixdayslate]

Frank DeCaro has a drag book

My first exposure to Frank was Kilborn-era Daily show when he did the movie reviews. There was *something* about him that clicked with young me (I’m Gwendolyn Westspoon btw). 

So, I strolled into the Strand as i do whenever I need to pee in Union Square. Up the stairs to the second floor, and there it was. Pride of Place, Upright on a bookstand. Hard Cover. #hott

I expected a coffee table book. Why not? He’s done enough. Throw Frank an easy buck. I was so wrong. This is a TOME of GAY HISTORY. There are more words than pictures. There are FACTS ABOUT GAY CULTURE (gasp) that one would would never know save for the efforts of this HERO <3

Incidentally, Frank is married to another lovely gay historian Jim Colucci. Give his Golden Girls book to your friends for xmas. It goes over well. Trust me. 

[sixdayslate]

So, there’s a new Christina Applegate show. It’s very GenX.

How GenX you ask? in the first 15 minutes they name check: Ani DiFranco, Facts of Life, and How Hot JFK Jr. is.

Plus a general cynical attitude and complaining that they can’t smoke anymore. I’m expecting a Jeanane Garafolo cameo any second.

Recommended for: over 30 or thought BigLittleLies was too serious*

*Update:

Original post was prior to BLL Season 2, which is leaning into the comedy. 

[sixdayslate]

Hello new friends

My best friend doesn’t like the word f**got. I’m indifferent. I believe what words mean depends on how they are used, and that all words are fair game. I also believe words have context and consequences. 

I choose not to censor my language around queerness. Generally, if I post something with ambiguous meaning, assume the nicer meaning. I’m here for the camaraderie. Hope you are too. 

Incidentally my friend also says “faggotry” is different, “because who would say it except in a positive context”. 

[sixdayslate]

Untimely reviews and misc faggotry

for your enjoyment