Six Hundred Degrees of Kevin Bacon

I once asked my Facebook friends, "What is your most tenuous connection to a famous person? I don't mean a legit connection, like you knew Benedict Cumberbatch at school or something, I mean the most threadbare link you can still call a link." Here are some answers to that question. (Feel free to submit your own. The more tenuous, the better.)

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My mum dated Joe Strummer in school.

Jess

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My dad, who is a taxi driver, gave Cilla Black's mum a ride from Victoria to King’s Cross in 1984 (the number of times I have had to hear that story...).

Sir John Paul Tyler Jnr VII

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I asked the Scottish rugby team where the bins were (I didn't realise who they were, even though I was in the basement of the stadium and they were all in sports gear). The rugby team just laughed, and said they didn't know. Oops.

Hazel

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My nan gets "messages" from "the spirits". In the 1990s she once had a visit from Mary Magdalene telling her that humans were destroying the planet, and that the French ecological policy was particularly worrying. So my nan wrote to Jacques Chirac to warn him about the spirits' displeasure. She received a (standard, I imagine) response from one of his underlings, which she framed and kept for over a decade.

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I had this friend at school who I didn’t really like that much cos she made me watch The Lion King. Her cousin married someone from Kula Shaker.

Anon

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I've 'met' (i.e. viewed from a distance) the Esso tiger.

Martha

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Preston from the Ordinary Boys said he liked my t-shirt.

Jamie

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My friend’s dad is the director of Game of Thrones.

Hannah

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I once sat next to Sir Ian McKellen in a showing of Waiting For Godot (he was later to star in a different production of the same play).

Chris

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My ex's brother used to share a flat with the brother of Debbie McGee.

Anon

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I was once in an elevator with Keith Chegwin.

Andrew

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Bodger (of Bodger and Badger) taught me art for a while.

Jasmine

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My dad sat next to Ringo Starr on a flight... twice.

Steph

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My ex-step dad once chaperoned Jenny Agutter.

Mike

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I spent last Saturday evening in a kitsch Austrian restaurant where Connie Fisher assisted the maître d’ in a cowbell performance.

Mel

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I once gave Martin from EastEnders advice on what X-Men book to buy.

Jake

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I lost big time playing a PlayStation snowboard game against Will Mellor.

Felix Maus