Lexxsixx

[sixxsgirl]

I’ll Be There

(I lost the pictures whoops..)

CHAPTER 3: PINKY PROMISE

The school playground was loud in the way only kids can make it too many voices at once, too many running feet, too much everything.

Michael Jackson stood slightly behind me, fingers curled tightly around the strap of his small backpack. He wasn’t playing yet.

He was just watching.

Watching the other kids like he wasn’t sure he was allowed to belong there. Every time someone laughed too loudly, his shoulders jumped. Every time someone ran too close, he stepped back. Not because he was scared of them. Because he didn’t want to bother them. I noticed immediately. I always did.

“Come on,” I said, grabbing his hand. “We’re playing tag.”

“I don’t think they want me to—” he started.

“They do,” I interrupted without hesitation.

Before he could argue again, I pulled him forward into the group. The other kids paused when they saw him. A few whispers started right away. A boy squinted at him

. “Why does he just stand there all the time?”

Michael froze.

His grip tightened around my hand. That small squeeze told me everything. I want to leave now. Something in my chest snapped. I stepped in front of him.

“Because he’s playing with me,” I said.

The boy shrugged.

“He doesn’t even talk much.”

I tilted my head slightly, just enough so Michael stayed behind me but was still close.

“That doesn’t matter.”

A girl nearby added,

“He’s kind of weird.”

That word hit harder than it should have. I felt Michael shift behind me, like he was trying to disappear. Like he believed it. I turned back toward him. His eyes were down. Not angry. Not sad. Just small.

“Hey,”

I said softly.

He didn’t answer.

“Hey,” I tried again.

Slowly, his eyes lifted a little. Not all the way. Just enough.

“You’re not weird,” I said firmly.

“I just… don’t talk a lot,”

he murmured.

“That’s not the same thing.”

The other kids were still watching, waiting for something entertaining. But I didn’t give them that. Instead, I squeezed his hand.

“Tell them you’re playing,” I whispered.

“I can’t,”

he said quickly.

“Yes, you can.”

A pause. Then, barely audible:

“I’m… playing.”

It wasn’t loud. It wasn’t confident. But it was real. I turned back to the others.

“See?”

One of the boys rolled his eyes and ran off, losing interest. The moment broke apart. But it didn’t feel small. Not to me.

Later at recess, Michael tried to sit on a bench near the other kids. His hands were folded neatly in his lap, posture careful, almost like he was trying to take up less space. But no one sat next to him. They chose the ground instead. Farther away. Not openly cruel. Just distant. I saw his face change before he said anything. He was pulling inward again. Quietly. I walked over immediately. “Come sit with me,”

I said.

“I’m fine here,”

he answered quickly.

“No, you’re not.”

He looked up, slightly startled. I grabbed his wrist gently and pulled him off the bench. Not hard. Just enough that he followed. Because he always did. I sat him down beside me on the grass.

“There,” I said.

He stared at the spot like it didn’t belong to him. Then slowly sat. The silence stretched. After a moment, he spoke quietly.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Do what?”

“Defend me.”

I frowned.

“Why not?” He hesitated.

“Because they’ll get tired of you.”

That made something in my stomach twist. I turned toward him fully.

“Then they’re wrong.”

He blinked at me.

“I don’t get tired of you.”

A pause.

“…Even when I’m quiet?”

he asked softly.

“Especially when you’re quiet.”

He didn’t respond right away. His fingers moved slightly in the grass, unsure. Like he was trying to understand how that could be real. Finally, he nodded.

Slowly. Carefully. Like he was memorizing it.

When the bell rang, kids started running back inside. Michael didn’t move at first. Neither did I. “You stayed with me,”

he said quietly.

“Yes,”

I answered.

“Why?”

I looked at him like it was obvious.

“Because you’re my best friend.” That word—best—stayed with him.

“…Only best friend?”

he asked. “Yes,” I said. “Only.”

A pause. Then he nodded. But this time, there was a small smile. Shy. Real.

“Okay,”

he said. “Only us.”

And when we walked back inside, he stayed just a little closer to me than before. Like the world had tried to pull him away. And failed.

I managed to sneak him out and into my place that wasn’t as much either but somewhere free.

We both laid on the bed and laughed until we couldn’t breathe. I looked over at him and he looked over at me at the same time. Making us both grin and laugh again before we quieted down.

Then I saw his eyes drop and his smile vanished.

“I’m scared..” He said quietly like he wished I didn’t hear it.

“Of what Michael?”

“I’m scared that we won’t stay together..”

“We always will..I promise.”

“You will?”

“Pinky promise..”

I smiled and wrapped my pinky with his.

A second after he rested his head on my shoulder and I did the same.

[sixxsgirl]

I’ll Be There

CHAPTER 2: PETALS COUNTED

Michael X reader

Spring, 1963

By springtime, Michael had started knocking on my window every morning before school.

Three quick taps.

Always the same.

We were both five, which meant neither of us actually liked waking up early, but Michael always acted like mornings were some huge adventure.

Sometimes I was already awake waiting for him.

Sometimes I pretended I wasn’t.

That morning I opened the window just enough to glare down at him.

“It’s too early.”

Michael grinned up at me from below, curls messy from sleep and his jacket half-buttoned wrong like he dressed too fast.

“No it ain’t.”

“The sun’s barely awake.”

“Well I’m awake.”

“That sounds like a you problem.”

He laughed quietly so he wouldn’t wake my mother.

Then he held something up proudly.

A flower.

Well… half a flower.

The stem was bent weird in the middle like he accidentally stepped on it during the walk over.

“I found it,” he said.

“You stole that from somebody’s yard.”

“I did not.”

“You absolutely did.”

Michael pressed a hand against his chest dramatically. “You think I’m a criminal?”

“I think you’re five.”

That made him laugh harder.

I climbed out the window anyway.

We spent most afternoons outside because neither of us liked being indoors much.

Outside felt bigger.

Safer somehow.

Michael liked climbing places he definitely wasn’t supposed to climb.

Trees. Fences. Apartment railings.

Once he climbed onto the roof outside the stairwell and sat there like it was completely normal.

I stayed below with my hands on my hips.

“You’re gonna fall one day.”

“I won’t.”

“You say that every time.”

“Because I won’t.”

“You’re too little to be this confident.”

Michael gasped loudly. “We’re the same size!”

“No we aren’t.”

“Yes we are!”

“You got tiny legs.”

“My legs ain’t tiny!”

“They kinda are.”

Michael scooted closer to the edge of the roof like that would somehow prove something.

Then he crossed his arms stubbornly.

“Yours is tiny too then.”

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt.

Michael tried not to smile at first.

Then he started laughing too.

The kind of laughing kids do when there’s nothing else in the world to worry about yet.

A few weeks later, I found him sitting behind the apartment building after rehearsal.

Curled up on the curb with his arms wrapped around his knees.

His eyes were red.

I sat beside him right away.

“What happened?”

“Nothin’.”

“You’re crying.”

“I ain’t crying.”

“You literally are.”

Michael rubbed at his face fast, embarrassed now.

“My brothers get mad when I mess up.”

“You don’t mess up.”

“My dad says if I mess up then everybody messes up.”

The way he said it sounded too heavy for somebody our age.

Like a five-year-old shouldn’t already feel responsible for everything.

I looked down at our shoes bumping together against the curb.

“Well,” I said quietly, “grown-ups forget kids are still kids sometimes.”

Michael didn’t answer right away.

Cars passed slowly at the end of the street while evening sunlight turned everything gold.

Then he whispered something so soft I almost missed it.

“I like when it’s just us.”

My chest hurt a little hearing that.

“Me too.”

He leaned his shoulder against mine carefully.

Like he was asking permission without words.

I leaned against him too.

And we stayed there together until the streetlights flickered on one by one.

[sixxsgirl]

I’ll Be There

CHAPTER 1: ONLY ONE

Michaelxfem!reader

1963 Gary, Indiana

The first time Michael saw me, I was sitting beneath the apartment stairwell with scraped knees and a coloring book missing half its pages.

He stopped walking.

I looked up slowly, curls falling into my face. I held a broken red crayon in one hand like it mattered more than anything else in the world.

Michael stared.

I stared back.

“You’re in my spot,” I said finally.

Michael blinked. “Sorry.”

He moved immediately, nervous in the way he always was around new people. He started to walk away again until I stopped him.

“You can sit here too.”

He turned back.

The space beneath the stairs was tiny. Dusty. Warm from the summer heat. The sounds of mothers calling children in for dinner echoed across the apartment buildings outside, but down there it felt hidden. Quiet.

Michael sat carefully beside me.

For a while neither of us spoke.

Then I held up the broken crayon.

“You want blue?”

Michael looked at the stub in my hand like I’d offered him treasure.

“…Okay.”

That was all it took.

By the second week, everybody knew where to find us.

Always together.

On the apartment steps. In the courtyard. Sitting cross-legged on sidewalks drawing pictures with chalk until sunset painted our fingers pink and orange.

If Michael disappeared after church?

He was with me.

If I vanished after school?

I was with Michael.

The older boys teased him for it constantly.

“She your girlfriend?”

Michael would turn bright red immediately. “No!”

I usually rolled my eyes.

“We’re best friends, stupid.”

Only best friends.

The kind children believed would last forever.

I learned quickly that Michael hated loud voices.

Not regular loud. Not laughing loud.

Angry loud.

Whenever shouting started inside his house, he’d go quiet in a way that felt unnatural for a child. His shoulders would curl inward. His eyes would drop to the floor.

Sometimes he’d disappear altogether.

And every single time, I found him sitting beneath the stairwell.

Like that tiny hidden space belonged to us.

One evening I crawled down beside him without saying anything.

Michael wiped his face fast.

“I’m not crying,” he mumbled.

“I know.”

But his cheeks were wet.

The hallway light flickered overhead. Somewhere upstairs a radio played softly through thin apartment walls.

Michael sniffed hard. “My brothers said I mess everything up.”

“You don’t.”

“They get mad ‘cause I can’t dance right yet.”

“You dance fine.”

He looked over at me then.

“You really think so?”

I nodded immediately.

Michael stared for another second before smiling a little small and shy and careful, like happiness was something fragile.

It made my chest hurt strangely.

“Well,” I announced, “when you become famous, don’t forget me.”

He frowned like the idea itself offended him.

“I won’t.”

“You promise?”

“I promise forever.”

Children always said forever like it was easy.

Winter came hard that year.

Snow covered Gary in gray slush and ice, and the apartment radiators hissed loud enough to wake people at night.

Michael started spending more time rehearsing with his brothers.

Sometimes I sat in the hallway outside their apartment listening to muffled music through the door. Counting the seconds between Michael’s laughter and his father’s sharp voice.

One night the door opened suddenly.

Michael stepped out breathing hard.

The second he saw me sitting there, his whole face changed.

“You waited?”

“Yeah.”

A grin spread across his face so quickly it looked painful.

“Come on.”

He grabbed my wrist before I could answer and pulled me down the hallway staircase two steps at a time.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Outside, freezing wind slapped against our cheeks immediately.

Michael didn’t care.

He dragged me into the empty courtyard where fresh snow covered the ground untouched.

Then he let go dramatically.

“Okay,” he declared, “teach me how to make a snow angel.”

“You don’t know how?”

“No.”

I gasped. “Michael!”

He laughed so hard he nearly fell backward.

It echoed off the apartment buildings bright and loud and real.

For a few minutes he looked like an actual little kid instead of somebody trying too hard to be perfect.

I showed him how to fall backward into the snow.

How to move his arms.

How not to get snow in his mouth.

He was terrible at it.

By the end both of us were soaked and breathless from laughing.

Michael collapsed beside me finally, staring up at the white-gray sky.

“…I like when it’s quiet with you,” he admitted softly.

I turned my head toward him.

“What do you mean?”

He shrugged one shoulder.

“I don’t gotta be anything.”

The wind moved through the courtyard gently.

For a long moment neither of us spoke.

Then I reached over with freezing fingers and hooked my pinky around his.

“Best friends forever?”

Michael looked at our hands.

Then at me.

And smiled.

“Forever.”

[sixxsgirl]

I’m right here…

I listen to the sound of his breathing as I stare up at the ceiling. Another night that’s restless.

I couldn’t help but feel hurt and broken from all the things that caused me pain in the past.

I tried to be quiet but Michael always knew when something was wrong, even when asleep. I felt him pull me closer and kiss the top of my head.

“Hey, hey…what’s wrong angel?” 

His quiet soft voice came through like honey. I couldn’t hide it now.

I held onto him weakly but still with all I could. 

“I..I can’t take it..” 

I felt my own words catch into my throat as the tears threatened me churning my streams of tears into floods.

His arms tighten around me, his gentle hands running up and down my arms.

“Oh baby…don’t say that..” 

His own voice seemed to catch into a lower whisper, almost inaudible. He pulls me into his lap between his legs, my arms instinctively wrapping around his neck

I muffled my cries into the crook of his neck, feeling his pulse right beneath my lips. 

I lifted my head to look into his brown angel like eyes. His own locked onto mine, he flashed a small reassuring smile.

Before I can say anything else he presses his lips to mine in a slow gentle kiss. He pulled back, kissing my forehead, the corner of my mouth, my nose, and my eyes, causing me to flutter them closed before he kissed me again.

I lay my head back on his shoulder, nuzzling my face into his neck as he runs his fingers through my hair. He lets out a low hum of a melody. I feel myself drift off to the sound of the one that’ll always be there. 

“Shh sweetheart..it’s okay..I’m right here.”

[sixxsgirl]

Hi if this request makes you uncomfortable skip past it ,it's totally fine :)

Can you do a fanfic with Nikki sixx where he always keeps trying to touch her but reader pulls away ,Nikki knows she is a virgin but then he finds out she has never touched herself or anything like that .he starts showing her what to do but when he does it feels really good but when reader tires she couldnt do it .

Thanks :)

Yes ! I will try and see what I can do with this and I’ll let ya know!!

[sixxsgirl]

Helllloooo I’m sorry for not posting shit buuuttttt I promise I am working on new stuff right right this moment And also I need very much ideas because I’m doing Michael Jackson, Nikki sixx, Tommy Lee maybe even Tom Keifer! (Many more) and I still need many ideas of what to do with them and story lines PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU HAVE AN IDEA OR WANNA SEE SMTH AND THANK YOU I LOVE YAA

[sixxsgirl]

Finally Mine

warning: murder, dark romance, etc, violence.

I walked the busy streets of someplace I stayed in for “Getaway trip”. I’ve kept an eye on someone for a short but long time, to me. I was known as the Sweet Good one. But sometimes the lie becomes the truth, and the lie is the opposite. When I loved I was possessive, protective. I never thoughwarn of much till now. Now I had no choice. This boy was my possession. Mine. It began to rain so I ran home, which wasn’t too far away because I wasn’t allowed to go far. Once I got to my room, I turned on the little Cd player placed on my bedside table. Laying on the floor of where I always were. Or liked to be. It was a place I got things done. I texted the boy, usual but so distant. I realized I wasn’t the only one. I thought of everything I could but, it was all just unimaginable. Every sugared word played in my mind like a record that never truly stopped. This was like a drug you just can’t quit. My drug was the yearn of someone I wasn’t supposed to love. I can’t escape this drug. Restless nights were common for the majority of it, but yet tomorrow I’ll know what I want and what I’m getting. The next day I woke up to the sound of screaming. I loved that I heard the sound many of times. But no, this wasn’t a time. It wasn’t anything like it, it was just the television anyway. I groaned and got ready for another normal day since schools out for summer now. Laughter pride or whatever else I felt came through the day again. But I waited. I got home at about 9 pm exact. One hour till my sweet child is mine. I put on a change of clothes and snuck out my window. Streets were dark and lonely for once. The faint scent of left over rain filled my senses like hope or despair. I got to his home. I snuck in carefully enough to be too quiet. I would never hurt him without a purpose or to cause pain. But for love I had to. Standing behind the body I love in front of me. A whispered “I love you..” Bled from my mouth before I stuck him in the heart.. Tears crashed with the red splattering on my face. My hands shook and loosened around the cold handle of the knife. Blood of what was once mine was everywhere now. He really was dead. I can’t go back. My eyes locked on the lifeless form before me in disbelief. I slowly reached out, grasping him. Holding him close. My lips pressed against his red pierced chest. The taste of a million times on my mouth one last time. I realized in this moment what I’ve got myself into.

[sixxsgirl]

Where’s my white feather hawk tail deer hunter?

[sixxsgirl]

Love Lana 🤍

[sixxsgirl]

WHERE CAN I WATCH FULL DIRTY DANCING UGHHH

[sixxsgirl]

hey guys! Sorry I kinda been distant I’m kinda just trying to figure out something and going through it a bit lol but I miss this I don’t know if I’ll be back too soon now but I’ll try.

[sixxsgirl]

So someone asked for to see a fic of 90s I think ‘96 or ‘95 era of Nikki with him being newly divorced and with a nanny or something and so IM SO SORRY I accidentally lost the question thing but I’m just saying I ABSOLUTELY will love doing that one!! I’m currently working on one but as soon as I finish which is shortly I’ll do that one! 🤍🤍

[sixxsgirl]

Guys should I start making fics with the outsiders and karate kid…? I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT

[sixxsgirl]

BRANDI BRANDT

PLAYBOY MAGAZINES

SO PRETTY AHH

[sixxsgirl]

The party was in the other room a loud, perfumed chaos of laughter and clinking glasses. I’d slipped out onto the cold, concrete balcony for air, shivering slightly in the February night.

That’s where I found him.

Or rather, where he was already found, a shadow leaning against the railing, a curl of smoke from his cigarette the only sign of life. Izzy. He didn’t turn, but I knew he’d heard me. He heard everything.

“Too much?” he asked, his voice a low, dry rasp that cut through the distant noise. It wasn’t really a question.

“A bit,” I admitted, stepping up to the railing beside him, not too close. He offered the cigarette. I shook my head. A ghost of a smile touched his lips before he took another drag.

He was always like this. A still point in a turning world. In a room of peacocks, he was the watchful cat in the corner, seeing it all, saying nothing. The quiet was different with him. It wasn’t empty; it was full of unplayed riffs and thoughts he’d never voice.

“Happy Valentine’s,” I said into the quiet, the words feeling silly the moment they left my mouth.

He let out a soft, airy chuckle, finally turning his head to look at me. The city lights glinted in his dark, observant eyes. “Commercial holiday. Thought you’d be somewhere else tonight.”

“Well no I chose to be here. You got me anything?” I teased, emboldened by the cold and the privacy.

His gaze held mine, intense and unwavering. Slowly, deliberately, he brought the cigarette to his lips for one last pull, then flicked it over the railing, a tiny comet extinguished in the dark.  

“Good choice.”

he reached out. His fingers, long and skilled from a lifetime of bending guitar strings, were surprisingly warm as they brushed a stray strand of hair from my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. The gesture was so tender, so utterly unexpected, it stole my breath.

His hand didn’t leave. It cupped my jaw, his thumb stroking the arch of my cheekbone. He studied my face as if reading sheet music, looking for the key, the tempo. The noise from the party vanished, replaced by the roaring silence of his attention.

“Got you this,” he murmured, his voice even lower, a confidential rasp meant only for me.

And then he kissed me.

It wasn’t like the kiss you might have imagined from a rockstar. It wasn’t wild or desperate. It was a slow, deep, knowing kiss. The taste of tobacco and whiskey was on his tongue, but beneath it was something cleaner, sharper, like ozone after a storm. It was a kiss that spoke of patience, of a coiled energy held perfectly in check. His other arm slid around my waist, pulling me firmly against the solid, lean line of his body, banishing the cold.

He kissed me like he played a guitar.with focused intent, every movement deliberate, building a silent, aching melody between our shared breath. When he finally broke away, it was only to rest his forehead against mine, his eyes closed, his breathing slightly uneven—the only sign he was affected at all.

“C’mon,” he said, the word a rough exhale against my lips. He took my hand, his grip firm and sure, and led me back inside, not toward the party, but down a dim, carpeted hallway.

He shouldered open the first door he found a spare bedroom, dark and quiet. He pulled me in, kicked the door shut with his boot, and backed me against it. The wood was cool through my clothes, but he was heat and intention in front of me.

In the near-darkness, lit only by the streetlight slicing through the blinds, his hands were everything. They mapped my spine, slid up under my sweater to spread against the bare skin of my back, pulling me closer. Every touch was deliberate, economical, wasting no movement. He kissed me again, deeper now, a hint of that controlled restraint beginning to fray at the edges.

He walked me backwards toward the bed, his mouth never leaving mine, his hands working with a quiet, devastating efficiency. A button popped. A zipper hissed. Cool sheets met my skin, followed immediately by the overwhelming heat of him.

He moved over me, a silhouette of sharp angles and lean muscle. He paused, looking down at me, his expression unreadable in the dark but his intent a palpable force in the room.

“Quiet,” he instructed, his voice a velvet-rough command, a finger gently tracing my lips. It was less a demand and more a shared secret.He pressed his skin against yours, positioning before entering,slow,deep,steady.for the feel of his calloused fingers on my skin, for the rhythm we found together in the silent dark a rhythm as primal and essential as the backbeat of a forgotten, perfect song.

BTW THE TITLE WAS “STICKY SWEET TOUCH” IT DISAPPEARED😔

[sixxsgirl]

SLICE OF YOUR PIE

warnings: smut, 18+

UMM THE SONG DIDNT UPLOAD FULLY CUS ITS HARD TO FIND THE FULL SONG ON HERE SO ID HIGHLY SUGGEST JUST LISTENING TO IT ON THE APP ITSELF OR ANY OTHER APP

The hotel room is dim, city lights bleeding through half-drawn curtains. I  can still hear the echo of the crowd in my ears, the bass of the show lingering in my chest. Duff’s jacket is tossed over a chair, his bass leaning against the wall like it’s finally allowed to rest.

Duff’s standing near the window, shirt slightly unbuttoned, hair damp with sweat, whiskey glass forgotten in his hand. He looks loose in that post-show way adrenaline fading, real life slipping back in.

“You gonna keep lookin’ at me like that,” he says, smirk tugging at his lips, “or come over here?” He pats his lap.

I don’t answer. I just walk to him.

He sets the glass down before pulling me in, hands warm and sure on my waist. His forehead drops to mine, noses brushing. His jeans tented.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he murmurs, voice low, intimate.

I laugh softly. “Didn’t think you were the Valentine’s type.”

“With you?” He kisses me slow, deep, unhurried. “Yeah. I am.”

The kiss melts into something heavier, his hands sliding under my clothes like he’s memorized every inch of me.Duff kisses like he means it, like he’s grounding himself in me after the chaos of the world.

I tug at his shirt and start slowly moving back and forth, and he groans, that sound vibrating straight through my body.

“God, I needed this,” he mutters against your neck.

He guides me back to the bed, following me down, eyes dark but tender. Clothes disappear in messy, impatient motions. When he looks at me fully, bare and trusting, his expression softens.

“You’re unreal,” he says quietly.

He touches me like I’m precious slow at first, teasing, making me gasp and arch into his hands. Every kiss leaves me buzzing, every brush of his fingers intentional.

When he finally presses into me, it’s deep and steady, completely filling.drawing a soft cry from my throat,he groans. My nails dig into his skin, He stays close, forehead against mine, breath uneven.

“Look at me,” he whispers.

“Just a little piece….of your pie..”

I do and the way he watches me,like this moment matters, like I matter, makes my chest tighten.

The rhythm builds, messy and needy and perfect. He says my name like a prayer, like it’s the only thing keeping him anchored. When I fall apart and I tremble, he follows with a low groan, arms locking around me as if he can’t let go. He moves down between, licking up every drop. His tongue doing amazing works.

“so fuckin sweet..”

After, he pulls me against his chest, heart pounding beneath my cheek. His fingers trace slow lines up and down my back, grounding, affectionate.

“Best Valentine’s I’ve had in a long time,” he says softly.

I smile, warm and spent. “Yeah?”

He presses a kiss to my hair. “Yeah. ‘Cause it’s you.”

[sixxsgirl]

WANNA BE YOURS

WANNA BE YOURS

1980s  

(NIKKIS POV)

We met under the shining sun, too bright for secrets, too warm to think about endings.

That night I stayed up tossing and turning. She wouldn’t leave my head. I sat up in the middle of the night,looking outside the window.

I got up,sitting by the window, I felt stronger when she came to mind. She was my muse.

—————————

It was a cold night out on the streets. I had been walking the sidewalk for quite some time with my friends. I didn’t listen to the words they said. My mind was elsewhere.

My friends looked back at me to only notice the way my head hung low and my eyes stayed thoughtful.

“Hey Nik..” 

One of them called out.

I barely lifted my head to look up at them.

“Yeah?”

“You alright man? You seem…focused.”

“Yeah I’m fine” 

I said soft. Softer then usual.

“You sure?”

“Yeah..I’m good”

They nodded and faded back into their laughter. I stood in a time zone of my own. Only wish within.

The air felt stronger that night, the music seemed louder, the lights seemed brighter.

I snapped out of it for a minute, my friends joking and laughing. I had no clue what they’d said or done but I just laughed along. 

“So Nikki..” 

One of them started.

I turned my head to them. Raising an eyebrow.

“You in love yet or what?” 

They teased.

I laughed and shook my head.

“I’m not the love type of guy” 

I said with a smile.

They all burst out laughing, playfully pushing me to the side. I chuckle, my eyes drifted back down again.I felt the overwhelmed touch again.

That’s when I heard the sound of laughter walk past me. My head snapped up instantly. 

That’s when I saw her. The girl I was deep down in love with. 

The slight neon off her clothes reflected off the lights. The leather of her jacket shone off the colors. She was wild. And wildly the one for me.

She whipped past me, laughing and talking with her friends,my eyes drifted, and I froze in place. 

My eyes caught the way her eyes were so soft,Her lips that bright red I couldn’t get enough of. Aquanet and perfume risen off her.

I stood behind my friends as they kept walking, my body turned to watch her as she walked off. 

“Nikki!” 

I heard behind me. 

I looked back then turned to the place she was before she disappeared.

I sighed and slowly walked back to catch up to my friends

“Man..don’t tell me that love thing was a lie” 

One said,grinning.

“I..where’d she go?”

They pointed to the direction. I turned around and started running off to find her. My heart raced.

She was no where to be seen. 

But that’s when I thought I’d lost hope I saw her in the distance. I quickly caught up to her, I pulled her to me immediately,a wide grin crept onto my face.

“I wanna be the one..” 

I whispered before pressing my lips to hers in a yearning trance, twirling her into my arms. I never even thought myself I’d be truly in love. 

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU

(HER POV)

It’s been months of dating but he’s gone so…distant. He never really was this way at all.

I tried not to overthink it but I couldn’t help feeling a little worried. I spend days hoping he’d come back to me again.

I walk outside one day to check the mailbox. It was always somewhat empty, but I usually just never checked it.

As soon as I open it., my eyes drift to the white letter plastered against the bottom of it. I slowly reach for it

I look around but no one was there so I just walked back inside with it,my hands tremble slightly

I shut the door and sat down on the window sill as I unfolded the letter.

My heart started to feel heavy as I read it, it wasn’t anything I ever expected but I knew I could only expect so much.  

It read…

“my love..

I can’t do this anymore. It’s not you it’s me. I’m just..so unloving and I just can’t hurt you I won’t ever forgive myself if I were to. Please,Forgive me. I can’t really count on anyone anymore it feels like everyone kind of left. Or changed and it’s weird because it’s nothing new but it’s not something common. Fighting with my friends,demons,all of that. But I can’t trust myself anymore I’m not sure you’ll be able to love me at much I mean, look at me I can’t keep a relationship for so long without messing it up But I’m scared I’ll lose what I have now. You. Because God I can’t lose you you’re all I have,and all I want. I’ll do anything if it means keeping you. it’ll never stay because of me. I’ve lost myself.

Love,Nikki. “

Tears fill my eyes as I remember each and every word. My bottom lip trembles.

How could this be? We’re not over but..What’s going on? I can’t lose him. I just can’t.

I clutched the letter to my chest, tears rolling down my rosy stained cheeks, my heart stopped for a moment.

I look out the window as rain drops hit the glass, my nose seemed to get stuffier over the few small minutes that felt like eternity.

Hours seem to pass faster than I even know. That’s when I woke up to the sound of the doorbell ringing. My eyes flutter open, tears still sliding the slightest. My body still felt cold. I was a mess. But I’ve been so what’s new?

I get up slowly, each step I take more dead and broken then the last. These past weeks have been killing me. 

I open the door, my eyes half lidded, I only hear the ringing of my thoughts.

I look up and my heart stops beating for a moment. My eyes widen more. 

There stood. Nikki. He stood broken and sorrowful. I always knew he wasn’t good at emotions and God he was sometimes stubborn to confess what he’s feeling.

No words are spoken. I immediately bring him inside and shut the door behind us, the sound falling to the silence again.

I sit down on the window sill again, he sits next to me.

“Please…talk to me tell me what’s going on..”

My voice cracks the slightest.

“I…I’m so fucking scared..”

He starts breaking down, I rarely seen him like this.But God it’s so beautiful.

I instantly pull him into my arms, his body shakes against mine,his tears falling onto my chest.

I  brush his hair back. Kissing his head repeatedly. My own tears start flowing again. 

He clung to me. His arms wrapped around my waist, his head rested on my chest. This was it. He was broken. He was desperate. But mostly. He was afraid

“I..I don’t want to fuck up..”

He speaks through choked up sobs.

I kiss his forehead then tilt his chin up.

Tears clung to his eyelashes,turning his bright green eyes glassy and unfocused.

I saw the vulnerability and dreading in his eyes.the reflection of once myself.

“Listen to me baby…You’re not going to ruin anything.”

He looked up at me with hope in my words.

“I’m sorry..”

He mumbled.

“Hey hey…don’t be sorry baby we’ll get through this I promise.”

He smiled the slightest and rested back against me. I still saw the look in his eye but didn’t push. I was here to stay. Not to change.

I smile back and kiss his cheek, I start to drift off to sleep as long as him.

The next morning I wake up to the warm feeling of skin against mine.I blink my eyes open, I look up to find him already awake admiring me.

I smile softly and kiss him. He kisses back immediately. His arms tightening around me. He seems almost thoughtful.

“Morning” he mumbles against my lips softly.

I hum in response.

He smiles and pulls back only to look in my eyes.

He tightens his arms that are around me and nuzzles his face into my neck. I chuckle. 

“Mmh…my girl..” he murmurs into my skin.

I grin.

“So clingy huh?” 

I tease but I know I love it. Just trying to forget some of the tension from last night.

He groans and his arms tighten even 

more, nuzzling more into me. Clearly proving my point.

I laugh at his reaction.

“God I love it though..”

——-–—————————

COME BACK TO ME

It’s been a week or two  after the talk we had that night. It’s still been dreading but. There was hope now. Newfound hope.

I was currently trying new records and cds I’ve bought at the music store this weekend to get my mind off things.

I hummed to myself as I set it up. Placing the disc in the little box.

A knock suddenly came upon the door. I glanced at the door before going to open it.

I open it slowly to see Nikki. 

I smile and pull him into my arms.

“Hey sweetheart,”

He says with a grin as he wraps his arms around me.

He slightly pulls back, taking my hands into his, his eyes shining.

“I missed you..”

I say softly.

“I missed you too baby.”

He takes a deep breath, looking away before looking back at me.

“Listen…I’m sorry for not telling you anything that was going on I should’ve known better and, to be honest being with you is the only thing that helps me cope. I felt like I was losing my mind without you, but I didn’t want to ruin us, I didn’t want to hurt you. It’s not anything I’m used to but it feels like home with you, This is the moment I’ve wanted for years, And I’m ready to keep it.”

Tears filled his and my eyes.

He slowly got down on one knee, his hands still holding mine, his tear filled eyes looking up at mine.

“Y/n…will you marry me?..”

His voice cracked slightly.

My heart stopped and my words got choked up. 

“I…yes!”

He smiled immediately as tears started slipping down his cheek. He placed the small ring onto my finger before pulling me into his arms, kissing me repeatedly.

He whispered.

“I promise I’m gonna make this right baby..”