N/A

#hmm I’m probably gonna do something bad

[dogcoding]

[toad-in-the-hoe]

OH MY FUCKING GOD I THINK I’VE GOT IT. So, basically theres like however many dimensions and I am connecting to the ones that are like nearly the same as this dimension but somewhere in the other dimensions I have made ever so slightly different decisions so obviously the outcome is different bUT when de ja vu happens it’s like my brain in this dimension and my brain in the other dimension CONNECT when like something is going to happen the same in this dimension then it happens later and i get de ja vu because it’s like i’ve caught up to the other me in the other dimension. I wonder if the other me’s in the other dimensions get de ja vu too? They must do.

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I must have some sort of future telling skills like when de ja vu happens i know i already saw/predicted exactly what was going to happen, but i just didn’t know when. Either that or i’m constantly flipping through different dimensions.

[toad-in-the-hoe]

looking at these words and they keep doubling doubling,, so many words it’s all blurry

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I hate myaelf so much idk what to do my body is burning and i deel nauseous like i wanna scoop my eyes out and rip my teeth out wHAT

[toad-in-the-hoe]

Why is being trans such a negative thing like why can’t people see me as a guy i literally already hate myself enought i dont understand it is it bad to be trans like i’m still a real dude right

[toad-in-the-hoe]

Bro i just drink and drink and when i’m sober i’m not even sober bc my head is just never here.

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I love who you are as a person why cant you see that why couldn’t you of stayed

[toad-in-the-hoe]

When i was with you i felt like we could conquer the fucking world but now i’m on my own and.. what..

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I’ve tried for so long to pick everyone up but my temple is collapsing and i have nothing inside me to keep me standing and all I wanna do is make everyone smile when I cant even smile myself and it just clashes,, I don’t feel anything other than a crash of nothingness and everything at the same time. All of the time. I wish someone would notice sometimes. I’m not completely here.

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I just want to talk to you one last time

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I wish i had something to tie myself to this world that i could be interested in but now i have nothing and i’m just lost in the abyss. People forget i’m here.

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I don’t have a physical form i’m not actually here dont look at me i dont want you to look at me i’m not here i dont exist

[toad-in-the-hoe]

I want someone to beat me up like i wanna feel my chest gettingg winded and my stomach doubling over i want all of the veins in my body to be pumped with adrenaline and fear i want to feel it i want to feel something

[toad-in-the-hoe]

Idk man idk i dont have an answer to anything and i’m always trying to find the answers to these questions that have no fucking answer but i cant do it and my brain tumbles and splits just to find the answer but i dont even know what it’s asking me to do FUCK

[toad-in-the-hoe]

Y'all i got too high and i'm getting supernparanoid and hearing shit and i think my head is gonna implode p soon

See you in the next life

[toad-in-the-hoe]

How do you tell your therapist theres a toad in your head? Asking for a friend.