Trust issues (1)
Well I've been doing some memory diving lately as to why my minds as fucked up as it is. I've been having random flashbacks from when I was younger, somewhat of suppressed memories I guess. My earliest memory in my first primary school (as I transferred half way through) was of when I was sent on an errand by my teacher. I was gone roughly five minutes with this task maybe less. Just as I do now I kept a journal when I was young containing secrets which obviously was very precious to me. When I came back from the task I was under the impression that something funny had happened when I was out so I asked the person I sat beside about it. It turns out that someone from my class read out the more embarrassing stuff from my journal to the class (which consisted of 4 classes as it was a small school), to make things better I considered this person my best friend at the time. I felt so bad I rang home pretending to be sick and refused to go to school for the rest of that week. I have been more aware lately that I don't exactly trust anyone and haven't gotten close to anyone since then(being 20 now). He was supposed to be my best friend, someone i could trust. But instead he was the reason I left that school. Needless to say for the rest of my time in that school I was bullied (as was the case up until I finished secondary school). One small action helped to destroy my faith in all humanity and damaged my life as a result. I know I seem like a winer once you look upon my posts, but I never told anyone about anything on my page. It's easier to write it down then speak to people I guess.