Skeleton Suit Sass

The one and only phoebebridgers.

[lustingfood]

Cranberry Apple Galette (x)

[softwaring]

sourdough butterfly by the sourdough mama

[bellemyers]

ITS FUCKING LOAD BEARING?!

[skeletonsuitsass]

Sometimes cat-sitting is all fun and games.

Sometimes you grab onto a table at the wrong angle, knock yourself out with a big ugly vase, and get six stitches in your head and a concussion.

Good news - the cats and Maxine didn't eat me while I was unconscious.

[skeletonsuitsass]

My government name is Phoebe. You may know me from my many performances where I either wore a skeleton suit of some sort or was hugged and kissed and mauled by my two extremely good-looking bandmates. I'm happiest in sloppy clothes, loving on my potato-child-dog Maxine and waiting for the aliens to visit.

[skeletonsuitsass]

@mirrorballhq followers - please unfollow, being used for something else

[skeletonsuitsass]

If you ever need to waste like an hour and a half in Milwaukee, might I recommend the Harley Davidson Museum?

Then, if you're not dead from all of the leather and testosterone, play some WhirlyBall to disorient yourself before heading to SummerFest.

It's a dream day.

[skeletonsuitsass]

I want to teach myself to read Maxine’s thoughts, but I feel like she doesn’t have many of them.

[skeletonsuitsass]

I feel like I've made enough jokes about liking canned Gatorade that it's just turned into a fascination. I need to know where they make it. Who is its spokesperson? Who fights for its rights in Congress?

[skeletonsuitsass]

Some days I look over at Maxine laying on the floor and think how uncomplicated and good her life is.

And then I go lay next to her and cry a little because I love her so much. She's just everything, and I'm the one who gets to make her life so uncomplicated and good.

[skeletonsuitsass]

There's a man outside the gas station that only appears when I'm having deep feelings and need something and he's selling baskets of peaches out of the back of his truck.

... do I need a basket of peaches?

Or do I need the Canadian variation of glass-bottled Coke they're selling inside?

Choices, choices.

[lovfawn]

do you ever meet someone and you’re just amazed that such a kind and pure soul could exist on this planet

[skeletonsuitsass]

Tumblr keeps asking me to form a community.

I didn't even form my own band, Tumblr. Two other beautiful people mostly did that for me and I just got to show up. Is that the kind of community making you had in mind?

[skeletonsuitsass]

I like when the Yelp reviews for a place give you two very different versions of what kind of place it will be.

Today, for example, I went to a park that was full of both "natural beauty for good hikes" and "entitled dog owners."

In other words, I fit right in.

[skeletonsuitsass]

Today I realized that I can't remember the last time I went to the dentist. I feel like this is something I should fix.

[skeletonsuitsass]

Today at the gas station I'm convinced only exists when dimensions overlap perfectly or some other astrology shit, I found Gatorade in a can.

It is - get this - better than Gatorade in a bottle.

I might have had four of them.

I might have a whole bunch of them in my fridge now.

They are for research - why are they so good?

I will report back when my scientific mind has been satisfied.

[skeletonsuitsass]

For @cattower: this isn't Maxine, because she takes her watermelon under the table to eat it and is a goober about me taking her video, but here is a fairly accurate video of what it looks like: