[karpie-diem]

I swear to god I just heard the Xbox achievement unlocked sound even tho I’m alone in my house and don’t own a fucking Xbox what the fucj

[meatswitch-deactivated20231107]

[bigtiddyluver]

hello, i’m truly the worst with dash activity and i apologize 

[qamaree-deactivated20200905]

me:

my brain: i'm a savage. classy bougie ratchet. sassy moody nasty. acting stupid, what's happening.

[charlesoberonn]

All I’m saying is there’s 7.6 billions of us and only one God. We could take him out if we want to.

[moistmailman]

Everything I’ve learned about Elon Musk has been completely against my will.

[bigtiddyluver]

saw someone run down the street, trip, and twist around enough to save their coffee from falling and spilling everywhere. what a hero 

[dankmemeuniversity]

[bigtiddyluver]

does anyone else remember that “tuesday again? no problem” dog or was that just a weird fever dream i had 

[eenuttings]

california? you mean the place in the red hot chili peppers songs? you know that’s not real right?

[sailorcuba]

the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u

[emmablowguns]

i’m just someone’s weird coworker

[what-even-is-thiss]

So March lasted ten years and April just kinda passed instantaneously like we’re in a coma and yet I’m trapped in it eternally

[moonpaw]

who threw away the goddamn moon?

[bigtiddyluver]

hello everybody, happy sunday 

[utopians]

rolling up to x æ a-12's baby shower with a copy of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal as an advance gift for the child

[tlirsgender]

Hozier is just like "I'm a corpse in the woods I have a complicated relationship with religion and I'm tastefully horny" and we all collectively went "same"

[bigtiddyluver]

hello everybody i have worn nothing but a robe since being in vegas so i guess you could say i’m Living It Up