23, Intersex but identifies as a trans man because my parents picked my gender and I said "No, no, no! I want to be a gay man!", Gay leaning Pansexual (thought I was lesbian leaning, I don't exactly have a birth gender so I can be gay and lesbian, but the fanfics are making me feel things, very 🌈✨gay✨🌈 things...) My main fandoms are Pokémon and Monster High but I like a ton of fandoms and will post about them. I also have many hobbies I will post about and I have a fiber arts blog on here too. I also use this platform to rant because my ADHD makes me a yapper so you never know what I'll post next. It varies from full mental breakdowns to rants about how underappreciated an obscure animatronic from the 80's is. My main ships are Hassel X Brassius (Pokémon), Elphaba X Fiyero X Glinda (Wicked), and Valentine X Spelldon (Monster High) My AO3 is Eeveechu64, fics in the works.
I'm absolutely over the moon right now! So I was in the mood to play an old DS game my late mom had in her collection that's a bunch of card, board, and party games put together in one game and she gave me this game a while ago because her DS broke in 2012 and never got it fixed and one of the games in this DS game was Chess, and Chess is my FAVORITE board game of all time to the point I was in Chess Club in both high school and college (and I also happen to own the collectable Super Mario Chess Set, the Pokémon collectible Chess set is next on my wishlist and honestly it's my dream Chess set) but when I was a kid, I couldn't win against the computer in the game. Well I played the Chess game for the first time in over a decade AND I FINALLY WON!!! This computer predates AI but TAKE THAT YOU, CLANKER!!! WOOHOO!!! 🎉
You know what would be a funny business idea? Selling daily planners with LGBTQ+ flag designs on the cover and have writing on the cover that says "The Gay Agenda". I would buy one.
Not sure if this is an autistic thing or everyone knows about this but Halloween has a smell. It has its own scent. If you don't know what I'm talking about, let me explain. Whenever I shop for Halloween decor, try on costumes, look at animatronics, or go to a haunted house, it ALL smells the same! It has a sweet, linen/silk, almost plastic smell. No matter what store it is or what product I'm looking at, it ALL has the same scent! I was shopping at Dollar Tree today and they had their Halloween stuff out and I smelled the scent and got curious if anyone else has ever noticed this. I refuse to believe I'm the only one that has! And no, I don't go around smelling store merchandise like a freak. I have a pretty strong sense of smell and can smell it from a few feet away but when I'm shopping it's saturating the air.
Me: I can't find a lot of things for my particular aesthetic. I'm definitely emo/punk/goth, but I like to dress more casually and I am VERY whimsical as a person and my favorite color is pink. Nothing will ever fit my vibe completely.
What do you mean the online exclusive isn't available online?! 😭 Fine! If I want a Moodicorn Unicorn, I'll have to make them myself! I unironically own those shades of pink in yarn form. I used them to make a unicorn plushie for my second cousin. I'm off to crochet!
Me: I can't find a lot of things for my particular aesthetic. I'm definitely emo/punk/goth, but I like to dress more casually and I am VERY whimsical as a person and my favorite color is pink. Nothing will ever fit my vibe completely.
Everytime I try to rant about my depression, Tumblr won't let me post or save to my drafts. Even my own ranting blog is telling me to shut the hell up because why would anyone care? I'm not in a depressive episode, I was just ranting about how I can't just "positive mindset" my depression away because I think too logically for it to just be emotional and I have actual events and facts that back up my negative thoughts and I was naming examples and Tumblr refused to save it to my drafts. I got an error code and a "try again" but the post was already gone by that point so I couldn't just try again. And this has ONLY happened when I rant about my depression. Honestly to the point it's funny to me. Like literally my life matters so little that even the internet fucking hates me! 🤣 Any other post will get posted, it's just when I really get into why I hate myself and why other people hate me it gets an error code! Biggest sign from the universe that I'm worthless! 🤣 Good thing it was just a rant because if it was an actual depressive episode, I might've actually just ended everything.
The urge to relearn Spanish just to get more Spellentine fan content is strong within me. And by relearn, I mean learn more Spanish, I can carry basic conversations and read some articles in Spanish, I just haven't practiced since highschool. (It's kinda hard for me to practice because I'm deaf so speaking and hearing comprehension is difficult. I can read other languages very well, I used to study them for fun, it's just difficult overall for me to learn a language since I can only learn and use it in one way. I do have limited hearing but I rely on lip reading to actually understand people and the old listening comprehension videos I used to look up for learning languages didn't have actual people, just infographics or no people at all. And as far as speaking goes, I have speech impediments due to my hearing so I can't really learn to speak languages. I grew up in a Sicilian household so my accent is perfect, I just can't talk. 😅 And ironically I took Spanish classes in school because I found my family's native language to be difficult. More or less because it changes depending on where you are in Italy and my family comes from an Italian region that has a dying dialect and thinks they're their own separate ethnicity. Spanish was so much easier compared to that! I still joke to this day that Latin languages is 50% Spanish, 10% actual Latin, and 40% Italians arguing over which dialect is the REAL Italian language. And if you think I'm wrong, go look up "Good morning" in Italian on Google translate and tell me how many answers pop up. Last I checked, it was four.) I need more Valentine X Spelldon content! But unfortunately Duolingo shot itself in the foot by making their app AI so I gotta do some research on which language learning apps don't kill our environment. Must learn for the sake of yaoi!
So the movie Obsession finally hit Peacock this morning so I finally got to watch it for the first time and honestly, as a long time horror fan, some things legit frightened me! I LOVED it! Since I've been a fan of horror since middle school, horror movies rarely get me spooked or disturbed now but Obsession NAILED it! Oh and one of my friends accidentally made one of the scares 4D. Because I'm deaf, my phone has some LOUD notifications and vibrates and during the first kill, there is a jumpscare and I was watching it on my phone and one of my friends happened to react to some reels I sent her on Instagram so as soon as the character Nikki pops on screen, my phone starts vibrating and making very loud noises which caused me to immediately shit myself and drop my phone on my face while screaming because I was very immersed in the movie and that was some divine intervention timing on my friend's part! 😭 I thought something had gone horribly wrong or there was some new movie watching technology that brings the 4D experience to your home. The kills happen at the very end of the movie so I enjoyed the last few minutes of it before telling said friend that she sent me into a panic attack and she thought it was fucking hilarious. (I mean it is, but in the moment I thought I was about to die. I have CPTSD so my fight or flight is beyond repair and I was NOT expecting an IRL jumpscare with the movie so in the moment it wasn't that funny. Horror movies are one of my coping mechanisms because the scares are supposed to be fake. It's supposed to be a controlled environment! 😅) Since the movie is new to streaming, I won't do a full review of my opinions yet (and if my ADHD allows me to remember to make one), but I have some in depth analysis in the back of my head about it.
I FUCKING LOVE INFORMATION!!! I WANT TO LEARN EVERYTHING AND KNOW EVERYTHING!!!!! I WANT TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING ABOUT LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING!!!!!! I AM UTTERLY CONSUMED BY MY THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw a Nintendogs comic about visiting your dog after several years and it made me tear up so STORYTIME!
When I was a kid, I didn't have Nintendogs but I did have one of the official Nintendogs stuffed animals: a german shepard I named Blue because he had a blue collar. I absolutely loved Blue, but as I got older, my parents started getting rid of my toys because they wanted me to act like an adult. They thought kids should only have toys until they're preteens. So they got rid of Blue when I was 10. Later in life when I started collecting vintage and rare dolls, I found out what Blue was. I'm also into collecting old games and I now have a Nintendogs cartridge and I got myself a german shepard in game and named him Blue. I do eventually want to buy the toy version of Blue so I can have him again, but for now, he's sitting happily on my 2DS. And I learned how to rip game ROMs off of cartridges for archival purposes so he's not going anywhere ever again, I made a copy of his game to ensure that. And when I do eventually get one of the toys again, part of me hopes I end up with my Blue. He got sent to a Goodwill so there's definitely a possibility of that happening. While other people have a connection to the game and their dogs in the game, I have a connection with a stuffed animal from the game and honestly, that matches me so well because now I collect rare and vintage dolls, and Blue eventually became a rare doll. We really did make a good pair and I can't wait to get him back. (The stuffed animals, despite their rarity, go for $40 maximum. So I'll get him back soon, money's kinda tight in the meantime and I have other things on my wishlist as well.) I guess we all have a Nintendog waiting for us somewhere in the world. Also, if I'm playing a game with a german shepard, you bet it's name will always be Blue! 💙
I saw a post about how people say Lysander is the last true villain in Pokémon due to misogyny for Lusamine and I left a bit of an autistic rant in the comments because it's so much deeper than that and so I decided to do a full rant here.
Let's address the elephant in the room, yes, Lusamine not being recognized as a villain does have something to do with misogyny, I am not denying that. Lusamine was revolutionary for the series as both the first female villain and the first twist villain and fans loved her in Sun and Moon. However, some decisions on Pokémon's behalf has led to her no longer being as beloved. When the Ultra games came out, she got overshadowed by the Rainbow Rocket storyline and as the first female villain, that means she got overshadowed by a group of men. There's a lot more to the Rainbow Rocket decision, I'll touch on that later. Another reason she's no longer as beloved as a villain is because of the anime. When the Sun and Moon seasons of the anime released, Lusamine's character was the complete opposite of her in game counterpart. In the games, Lusamine is completely evil, and she was abusive to her kids at times due to her obsessions. However, in the anime, she's shown to be a good mom and a good person. This is extremely misogynistic because they had no problems with Ghetsis being a horrible father in the Black and White anime seasons, but they had a problem showing Lusamine that way. The Pokémon anime is full of bad fathers, but they drew the line at a bad mother. And I believe this has to do with the stereotype of women being caretakers and nurturing and the anime was made for kids. The manga and games get away with darker themes simply because they're made for people aged 10+. The anime is rated for all ages so they purposefully tone things down. And there's also the later half of Lusamine's storyline where Lillie reconciles with her and tries to help take care of her after she gets possessed by an Ultra Beast. I think they changed her character in the anime because kids would be confused as to why Lillie would want to do that. As someone who was abused by their parents, I can vouch that not every abusive relationship is black and white when it comes to how someone feels about their parent. Emotions are complicated. People can abuse you, and you can still love them. We're social by nature and our parents are supposed to care for us, so when they don't, it messes with our heads. We instinctively still care about them. That's why cutting contact or getting help can be an emotional rollercoaster for people. It's not simple. Lillie in the games acknowledges that her mother did bad things to her, but she still cares for Lusamine. Explaining such a complicated thing to younger audiences isn't easy, but Pokémon took the easy way out of it which is a cowardly move in my opinion. (And the games did a similar thing with N and Ghetsis where N's feelings for his father are complicated. This again wasn't touched on as deeply in the anime, but N didn't forgive his father either. If he did, would they have changed Ghetsis's character as well?)
Another reason Lusamine isn't seen as a villain anymore is because of Pokémon as a series retconing their storyline. Gen 5 was supposed to be a reboot for the series with a new overarching storyline. The Team Rocket storyline officially ended in gen 4. (For those who have no idea how that works, basically gen 1 is Team Rocket's introduction, Gen 2 is the fallout of them disbanding, Gen 3 Maxie and Archie used to be part of Team Rocket and were friends but had a falling out because they couldn't agree on things because they're environmentalists and their pasts made them become extreme in their views enough to form their own teams leading to them waking the legendary Pokémon, and Gen 4 was meant to tie up the last bits of world building which is why it's connected to Gen 2. Not a lot of people know it's an overarching storyline because you either have to dig for details or connect the dots in the last two gens. You get Maxie and Archie's backstory from an NPC that's optional to talk to.) Pokémon games are written and developed several years before they're released so they planned for future games to be a new storyline which is why Gen 5 had all new Pokémon. But when it released, people HATED it so Pokémon had to quickly retcon EVERYTHING to please the fans. Black and White 2 having old Pokémon was last minute. Gen 6's Pokédex got mostly scrapped due to the backlash and their story rewritten and eventually that generation didn't get completed with Pokémon Z because of continuing backlash from fans. Basically, everything became a shit show at the Pokémon company, and unfortunately Gen 7 got mixed up in all of it because that was the last written game before Gen 5's release. Scraps of the originally planned story remain in the games to this day such as returning characters, but a lot of content got scrapped because of Gen 5's reception. The Ultra games managed to rework some of the returning characters into the storyline such as Colress, but they were mostly afterthoughts. (I think Colress was planned to be a major character in the original storyline because of his introduction in Gen 5's sequel games, he was mentioned in Gen 6 and could've been planned to appear before content got scrapped, and he appears in Gen 7 but didn't get a proper storyline until the Ultra games released. He's one of my favorite characters and I would've loved to see what Pokémon originally had planned for him. I guess I'll settle for Rainbow Rocket...) And one of the things Pokémon did to retcon things was the Rainbow Rocket post game story for the Ultra games and the Battle Tree (the Battle Tree has returning characters from all across the series, but it doesn't actually do much in terms of retcons. Just show players these characters still exist.). And not a lot of the main story was changed so the post game story became the topic of conversation when Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon came out, and while Lusamine was included in that story, she got heavily overshadowed by returning villains and got overshadowed in the game overall.
And the last point I want to make in why Lusamine isn't acknowledged as a villain in Pokémon is simply because of fatigue over twist villains in Pokémon. Lusamine was the first twist villain and due to her positive reception, Pokémon did it again. And again. And again... Some twist villains have become fan favorites and were executed well such as Volo, but it's been in every game since Gen 7 and fans are tired of it. In fact, they start guessing who the real villain is before the new games even release. And due to starting this trend, Lusamine started to get hated for being a twist villain. And unlike the other twist villains, she's the last one who's evil for the sake of being evil. (You can argue Volo is also evil for the sake of being evil, but they gave him a backstory that explains why he's evil. He didn't just spawn that way.)
Anyways, this ends my autistic rant over why Lusamine isn't considered a true villain anymore in Pokémon.
I don't mention my split personality disorder often but I need to vent about one of my splits specifically today. This blog is mostly my venting space anyways so... Anyways, one of my split personalities is basically me when I was 2 years old. My parents started neglecting me at that age and I gone through a lot of medical trauma then because that's the age my family found out I was disabled and my hearing doctor told them I'd learn to speak if they neglected me until I spoke properly and my parents refused to acknowledge me after that age due to being disabled so most of my photos at home were of me at 2 years old and that's why she's a split personality of mine because that was the last age we felt loved by our parents. (I have an intersex condition and this split is too young to decide what gender she wants to go with but presents herself as my childhood photos which were taken in a dress so we call her she/they pronouns. She doesn't lean towards anything specific and she's nonverbal because we're deaf so if she does, she can't communicate that very well. So far our communications are very few words, baby sign language, and vibes. She also learned a new word the other week. She learned "woof" because she wanted to talk to our dog. 🥹 Literally the cutest thing ever! We do have very limited hearing so she's able to learn new words, it just takes a very long time.) So me and the other main personality were busy all morning because our sister forgot her wallet at home and she's using our car because hers has a flat tire so we had to hitch a ride with our grandparents and we ran errands with them all morning and the little split wanted to play with her crayons all morning, poor kid was bored to tears without her toys. (Since I collect dolls, I let her play with my collection with some restrictions so the dolls aren't destroyed or taken apart. Her favorites are Valentine, Spelldon, Elphaba, and Catnap. Kiddo's got good taste, she got it from me! 🤪 She also has her own toys but is at that age where if she sees her big brothers "play" with dolls, she has to play with those exact dolls too.) Since she is so small in age, someone has to co front with her for safety reasons and as soon as we got dropped off at home, we got her crayons out and let her play but our grandma, who just dropped us off not even five minutes before this point, immediately started blasting our phone because our sister started complaining to her about a broken toilet at home and the water bill being high. Constant notifications and ringing on our phone is a huge sound trigger for our shared autism so I took over to handle the situation but the little's playtime got cut off so many times in one half hour, she refused to front again once she was cleared to do so because she was already overstimulated and she got cut off over 20 times and at that point didn't want to keep playing. And this kiddo is so timid and afraid of her own shadow that she rarely even wants to front and she's been doing it more in the past few weeks (so proud of her for that!) so now I'm scared that progress got ripped away over a broken toilet and several text messages from someone who literally had ALL MORNING to talk to us about this and just dropped us off at home. And to top it off, the kid is also crying now because she's upset she didn't get to play and she's not understanding that she can play now because of how many times we got interrupted! It's so fucking frustrating! I'm not mad at the little, I'm mad at my grandma and sister who had us all morning but chose to give us absolutely no time to ourselves the moment we got home and made a 2 year old cry! And our grandma is notoriously a bitch to us so she's genuinely being evil by making the little split cry! We even told her we wanted a moment of rest as a polite way of telling her to shut up but she refused to because our sister was also running her mouth! I'm tired of this shit! Genuinely tired!
So I was NOT prepared to be called out on Reddit today. (My name is Maxwell.) 😅 You can ask my irl friends, my main reaction to characters are either "instant blorbo, must give head pats", "find or make ungodly amounts of smut about this character", or "send them to the torture chamber". ( @cinnamonnt can vouch for me, I was waiting for Wicked Part 2 to release in theaters so I could see Boq and Fiyero get body horrored.)
I learned a new skill: ROM dumping from game cartridges. I love to mod/repair my games and game systems so I wanted to learn something new and my family are all historians (either professional or hobby) and I am a historian of media so I'm ROM dumping majority of my game collection for archival purposes in case something happens to the physical game, I will have a digital copy of it. I also struggle with ADHD so I've lost a half dozen game cartridges in my lifetime and recently had to buy replacements after giving up trying to track down my lost cartridges so it's an extra safe guard against losing my favorite games. No, I will not be sharing these ROMs online, I don't know how to do that. I do have some rare games in my collection so if and when I figure out how to do so, I will be sending them to other media historians that archive games digitally for the sake of preservation. I figured I'd share this new skill even if I don't share it with people because I'm more of a repairman when it comes to tech, I don't know jack shit about the actual code half of it so any new skill in that side of things, I'm pretty proud of. (So far my only repairs were to Gameboy Color cartridges to make them playable again but I plan on saving my money to mod my Gameboy Color console. I want the screen to be backlit and there's some scratches on the screen so I need to replace that as well and possibly put on a new shell since mine is covered in dirt from when I carried it around in my messenger bag back in highschool without a carrying case for it. I know, totally irresponsible to do with an old console but at least I know how to fix it! I also have 3 DS Lites that I plan to use for parts to make 1 working DS Lite. Two used to belong to my mom and sister and another is my old busted up DS. Funny story, it completely busted the same day I bought Kingdom Hearts Recoded. I'm pretty clumsy and my ADHD makes me not pay attention to my surroundings so I tripped and separated the top and bottom screens on my grandparents' driveway and my grandpa managed to put it back together then when my mom came to pick me up after work, I had to tie my shoe so I put the console on the hood of her car, and as I was tying my shoe, it slid off and smashed on the driveway again and that driveway was concrete so you can imagine the damage. It worked for an extra 5 years after that and never again. That was a miracle for it to continue working after being dropped twice on concrete. Meanwhile my 3DS systems have turned into a bomb, bricked because of a Sonic game (curse you Lost World!), and the inner screen broke because of changing weather patterns, I wish that last one was a joke but it can legit happen. 😅)
