you dummies only live on the internet ! ~ ☆

.°~ " don't set me off , 'cause i know myself , i'm close enough to broken " ~°.

[skippingoverlandmines]

.°~ " is the world done fucking around ? " ~°.

> ☆ please be aware that this is a vent blog ! while i will likely not post about anything too graphic, i still ask that you browse this blog with caution and that you take care of yourself, put your own mental health first <3

ask games im doing:

> ☆ tomodachi life ask game

> ☆ fruits and vegetables ask game

> ☆ personal ask game

> ☆ creepy anons ask game

> ☆ red ask game

> ☆ major arcana ask game

> ☆ kari's ask game

> ☆ name: meteor

> ☆ age: 19

> ☆ pronouns: both they/them and he/him are safe bets !

> ☆ tagging system: right here !

> ☆ taken anons: 💌💊 anon

> ☆ religion: atheistic satanist ! i do apologise if this makes you uncomfortable, i am wary and distrusting around abrahamic religions due to recent events in my life but i respect everyone and what they believe in because truly it's not my business

> ☆ info: i identify with both jirai and menhera, i do ultimately wish for recovery, however it can be extremely difficult for me due to my lack of contacts and mental instability, so i very often feel like recovery is an unreachable goal and tend to wallow in my suffering. i do sh and i am frequently suicidal

> ☆ diagnosed/recognised: autism, depression

> ☆ highly likely: anxiety, osdd, misophonia

> ☆ questioning / i have traits of these but probably not enough for a full diagnosis: avpd, bpd, adhd, ocd

> ☆ wait, osdd?: i (the creator of this blog) will be the main person using it, however other headmates may also post here ! they'll remain anonymous aside from changing the text color on posts, so any colored text posts are not from me.

> ☆ interests: metal / rock music (mainly metalcore and post-hardcore), emo and scene culture, kandi, roblox grace, transformers, jsab, alan becker, ultrakill

> ☆ music: architects (maybe that's obvious), sleep token, bring me the horizon, pierce the veil, electric callboy, and many many more (music masterpost)

> ☆ (serious) why am i here?: my mental health has been on a downward spiral for the past few months, ive noticed myself frequently venting to my friends and feel as though they shouldn't have to put up with me complaining constantly, so i made this to eject thoughts i might not want them to hear. im highly mentally unstable with a tendency to cry uncontrollably and blow up on people, and have known about the fashion style for a while, but not so much the history and lifestyle behind it until recently. i'm not currently in therapy, however if i do somehow get therapy i think having a record of my bullshit might be helpful. i also know someone here already, if you find this, hi !!

> ☆ (joke) why am i here?: idk man i thought being an architects themed jirai would be funny, they literally have a song called landmines WHICH IS WHERE MY URL COMES FROM, ITS PERFECT GO LISTEN TO ARCHITECTS NOW !!

[skippingoverlandmines]

Oh lord i did the thing where i write a post and then get distracted and forget to post it again

Nevermind about the last post i doodled my sona giving themself amateur top surgery with a box cutter and i feel way better now

[skippingoverlandmines]

hahaaahhaa i was on track to feeling good for today but my mum had to make me try bras on, i hate this i hate feeling dysphoric i want to cut my boobs off and leave them dissected on a plate for my mother to see, and she's forcing me to take these tight ass bras with me on holiday saying i'll have to wear them when i wear something "pretty"

hhahaa maybe if i cut myself she can't force me to wear super feminine clothes cause they'll show off my scars . hahahahahahaaaa

[skippingoverlandmines]

(crying so hard the world around me turns into a soggy blur) OPEN THE DOORS AND LET ME INNN IM READY TO FACE THE MIRROR AGAINNNN I'LL NEVER FIND MYSELF IN THE EEEEND IF I DONT LEARN TO LOVE MY OWN REFLECTION

/lyr

[skippingoverlandmines]

Holding absence in the studio writing songs to call my mentally ill ass out specifically and make me ugly sob /j

[piko-chan]

Reblog for me to stalk your blog!

I'll send you a long ass ask about your interests and recent posts >:3

No requirements, no limits, you might even be already a moot, you don't have to have much posted, I just want to meet y'all!!!

[skippingoverlandmines]

me when i . when i think about my starlight

[jirai-till]

My balls itch #vent

[skippingoverlandmines]

"i apologise for disturbing you-" SHUT UP SHUT UP DIE DIE KYS IM TIRED OF BOTS SHOWING UP EVERYWHERE EVERY 5 SECONDS IM SO FUCKING TIRED GO AWAAAYYYYYY

[skippingoverlandmines]

wanted to make a sona to reclaim a fandom from neo and spade and i had some cool ideas that made me really excited to do things but then while i was scrolling through art from the fandom for inspo my mood did a hard left into feeling like absolute shit and wanting to be self destructive and now i keep flipping between wanting to at least concept ideas and not wanting to touch this at all? why can't our brain be decisive today wtf

[skippingoverlandmines]

when you get urges to be self destructive while sitting in call cause of trauma memories so you lowkirkenuinely rip the scab from the bug bite out of your leg so you can get some blood flowing without actually slicing anything

[skippingoverlandmines]

Thinking about the pressure situation again yuhhhhh cause an old pressure video got on my youtube homepage yuuuuhhhhh i wanna take this out on my thigh yuuuuhhhhhhh

Can someone just old yeller me already?

[the-internet-bunny]

I feel so selfish for feeling this way. My friends are struggling with lives way worse and less comfortable than mine and all I can do is whine about myself even when I've got a good, comfortable life. I've got no reason to feel the way I do. I have good parents and friends, I've got a stable roof over my head, I've got food and water and yet all I do is complain.

I should be supporting my friends while they're struggling, not whining about myself because there's no way something is this wrong with me when I've not had any serious trauma. I need to stop crying like a little bitch.

[skippingoverlandmines]

Honestly i feel this a lot..... My friends are here constantly suffering abuse from their parents and awful home lives and especially now that im done with college and exams im just kinda sitting here being lazy while my parents provide for and take care of me and love me, my school's potentially giving me a shortcut to employment and nothing is really going wrong in my life

Yet my mental health is still only somewhat better than it was before, i still feel like shit a lot of the time and i end up just complaining about nothingburger shit while my friends have to suffer through hell and i can't really do shit about it... It hurts, i want to help everyone but im too much of a shitass to do anything other than be stupid

Sorry for rambling here, this just spoke to me a lil too much aughhhh....

[skippingoverlandmines]

im really growing to dislike my parents lately. it feels like i can't have a problem without them thinking it's because of the internet.

like im trying to explain how tired we've been and that we can't sleep

"even when i try to go bed early i just end up tossing and turning and not sleeping anyway"

"why are you tossing and turning is it cause you'd rather be online than sleeping?"

MOTHERFUCKER NO???

our brain jumps around a lot when we try to sleep, a lot of the thoughts end up being about past events and traumas, but i can't tell him about those

i just wish someone would understand.

[skippingoverlandmines]

welcome to barnes and NOOOOO WHERE DID IT GOOOO????? (/ref)

[skippingoverlandmines]

mweh, sleepy tired rn oughhh....

was curious and started scrolling through a certain someone's old posts and damn im really out here getting overprotective and pissy over anon hate from 2024...... help i feel overbearing and overly obsessive now AAAUGHHHHHH

[skippingoverlandmines]

Just woke up and i already wish i didn't

Every time they bring up neo lately i just want to cut myself

I could have prevented all of this pain, all of this misery, all i had to do was keep my mouth shut and move on

And now look where we are

I need to die