falling apart bit by bit

crow he/him adult mental illness/jirai/trauma blog

[bpdboyfriend]

「 ✦ ℑ𝔫𝔱𝔯𝔬 ✦ 」

── .✦ Block Don't Report ⋆˙⟡

ᯓ★ you can call me Crow

ᯓ★ he/him

ᯓ★ adult

ᯓ★ lifestyle jirai and certified walking disaster

ᯓ★ gay, polyamorous, and trans

ᯓ★ DID system

ᯓ★ physically disabled

ᯓ★ recovering hikikomori

ᯓ★ ♍︎ 𖤓, ♑︎ ☾, ♒︎ ↑

ᯓ★ hellenic/celtic pagan and tarot reader

ᯓ★ this is a sideblog, i follow from a different url

ᯓ★ i love attention so don't be afraid of spam liking/reblogging, sending asks/anons, or generally interacting :3

∘₊✧── i'm fine with minors interacting i just may not interact back/may interact less ──✧₊∘

「 ✦ 𝔇𝔑ℑ ✦ 」

⋆˚꩜｡ "endogenic systems", endo supporters

⋆˚꩜｡ ableists, racists, homophobes, transphobes (including transandrophobes, exorsexists, and transmisogynists), sexists, antisemites, zionists, pedos/maps/nomaps, other bigots of any kind

⋆˚꩜｡ terfs/radfems, tehms, radqueers, transid

⋆˚꩜｡ if you think people with personality disorders are inherently abusive

⋆˚꩜｡ anti-low/no empathy

⋆˚꩜｡ Vivziepop media and The Amazing Digital Circus enjoyers/apologists (Your abuse fetishism fools no one, kindly fuck off)

[srdcovka]

[hazedxg0]

It really does say a lot about how romanticized and theatricized alters are online when people go into denial or feel isolated for displaying the most textbook DID/OSDD symptoms.

Not knowing who's fronting, not knowing how many alters you have, not knowing when you switch, not knowing alters' names or why they formed, alters not having names, having no internal world or a very vague one, having no internal communication, struggling with external communication, experiencing alters as different overlapping states of self instead of separate people, hell even just experiencing amnesia.

These are all extremely common symptoms of DID/OSDD, especially when you're untreated or early in treatment. And yet they're all common reasons for why people feel like they don't belong in this community, because the reality of this disorder somehow doesn't conform to the online expectation.

How bad is the state of CDD awareness, even among those who proclaim to have it, that the most common manifestations of DID/OSDD are so underdiscussed that the majority of people with these conditions cannot find understanding even in a community meant for their disorder? When anything that doesn't play into the "alters are separate people and friends in your head" narrative is ignored and erased?

[ct-lambykins]

its fucked up how being unloved by a parental figure in your childhood makes you unlovable for the rest of your life

[ros-sauce]

If too many people are mean to you when you're 7 the rest of your life becomes a horror game forever

[visual-poetry]

»i think about your death all the time« by thomas müller

[thisisdogs]

i bet it feels good as fuck to feel good

[maybe-someday-eventually]

[pangur-and-grim]

I think some of the loneliness of autism is that you feel like you hurt people just by Interacting Wrong, but you don’t know how to Interact Right, and the more effort you put into it, the more exhausted you are and the more artificial it comes across (with the end result of people still being upset with you). and it’s not anyone’s fault for not liking Being Interacted With Wrong, and it’s not your fault for doing it so wrong, but it is very, very lonely.

[avpd-void]

Every time something I say gets a negative reaction I remove it from the mental container of "things I can say". Which means eventually I will reach zero sayable words. And then I win, roll credits

[oshidorifuufu2]

the world if i was amab and had money: ☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️🌅🌅🌅🌅🌄🌄🌄🌄🌸🌸🌸🌹🌹🌹🌹🌷🌷🌻🌻🌻✨✨✨✨

[bpdboyfriend]

everything in my life is falling apart yet again and like always there’s nothing i can do to stop it

[bpdboyfriend]

oh, me? yeah man i’m at risk of getting kicked out again what’s good with you?

[64mpg]

actually i’ve done a lot of work on myself since we last spoke and i wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself and that i hope you die

[sacred-portal]

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Wishing that I could be softer and sweeter and more loving and affectionate but simultaneously being absolutely disgusted and repulsed and enraged by the very notion is kind of exhausting actually

[angel-tearsx]