To strive, To seek, To find @skipthelightfandango - Tumblr Blog

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LA CASA DE LAS FLORES / The House of Flowers (2018–)

single-homeowner.blogspot.com

Today I Learned...(Adventures of a Single Homeowner)

I think the hardest thing for me about being single, is that all of my best friends are in relatively happy relationships. I don’t just have someone to talk to late at night anymore and call when I want to feel less lonely or need company. They all have someone else that they have to be with and take into consideration. I know it’s selfish but I miss the friendships I had. I value them now but they come with strings. I miss it

“Richard got married to a figure skater, and he bought her a dishwasher, and a coffee perculator...”

This lyric always makes me think about my exes and who they are with now and how their life continues on. I wonder what they tell their new significant other about who they were in a relationship with before. Do they bash and say negative things? Do they share any fun memories? Do they regret the time we spent together?

Ten years ago I was at the lowest point of my life. I was struggling with my sexuality and coming to terms with it. I was struggling in school and failing to measure up to my sister’s academic success. I was growing more distant from my parents and friends. I was on the verge of completing suicide. There were moment I had sharpened a butcher knife and held the tip against my heart or blade against my throat and would cry. I held bottles of my mother’s prescription pain killers in my hand, ready to ingest them all. I truly felt that my pain and hurt wouldn’t go away and I would never be loved. I hated my body, I hated my sexuality, I hated my academic ability.

The only thing that helped my through it was listening to Janis Joplin and feeling her pain in her music, and learning about her life and how much I could relate to her feelings and vowing to myself I would make it to 27 like her.

Listening to Demi Lovato’s “Anyone” brought back so many feelings and emotions. I felt like I was 16/17 again, feeling like I had no one to rely on. Now here I am, ten years later and I have my dream job, I own my own home, I own my own car, and I have a loving group of friends who I know I can rely on. I cry thinking about how much I hurt back then, and cry about how I would have missed all of this if I had acted on my feelings ten years ago. I still struggle with loneliness and inferiority at times, but I’m in a much better place than I was and recognise that I am not alone.

Sometimes it doesn’t get better, but it gets easier and more manageable.

#depression #suicide #anyone #this is my life #almost 27 club memeber

dailylovato

Demi Lovato perform onstage during the 62nd Annual GRAMMY Awards

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mandosbaby

“Baby Yoda Eats” Series by J. Shari Ewing on Instagram

skipthelightfandango

Completing Pokedex for Shield

Hello!

I am in need of the following to complete my Shield Pokedex:

Solrock

Zacian (will trade back!)

Acrtozolt

Darumaka

Turtonator

Passimian

Mawile

Karrablast

Escavalier

Gothia

Rhyperior

Sawk

Aromatisse

Flapple

Any help would be greatly appreciated! Let me know if you can help out and I we can set up a link code :)