I was just thinking about the "sunlit garden" metaphor; how it represents an idealized time or person or memory that a person wishes to return to and make last forever, and how each of the duelists have something like this in one way or another. Then I realized—Touga doesn't have one.
Now, I know that the real world explanation for this is that Touga's voice actor wasn't available for the majority of the Black Rose arc, so Be-Papas didn't get to explore his backstory in the series the way they originally intended to (which in turn is why it was included in Adolescence.) But looking at the anime on it's own terms, I think that the apparent absence of any precious memories can still say interesting things about Touga as a character. Especially when every other person involved in the dueling games is at least partially motivated by their own precious memories.
...Touga accepted in silence the sexual abuse from his new parents. His personality changed while he made a magnanimous show of enjoying the abuses in order to prevent his personality from splitting. The change took place in a spot so deep in his mind, that even those closest to him did not notice. Saionji and Nanami never noticed out of their innocence. And Touga never told his secret to anyone. It is said that a human being gains whatever he lost in exchange. So what did Touga gain in exchange at that point in time? It was the sense of alienation from being abused every night and seeing his innocent friend and sister during the day. The alienated self.
And it is out of this awareness of alienation that you come to obtain a higher humanity and sexual self-awareness. In the TV series, Saionji always felt that he was one step behind Touga. Although the two are more or less equal in terms of ability, what Saionji lacked was that sense of alienation.
Enokido
Touga and Anthy are quite similar characters. if there’s anything precious to them in their pasts, they’ve long stopped believing in it. they look at the kids around them, still clinging on to ideals and dreams, from a far distance. that distance, that knowledge, makes them alluring and powerful in their own ways. their arcs conclude with an awakening, a blossoming into their buried childhood desires; desire for the prince, desire to be the prince.
the mental change that Enokido describes must have happened before the events of episode 9, and yet that incident stayed with Touga. like Anthy, he seems to have a resigned quality to him. Utena insisting she will stay in the coffin until she joins her parents resonates with him, but he leaves her there. it’s not a sunlit garden moment, but Touga’s motivation for obeying Akio is rooted in Akio’s apparent power to save people from their cozy coffins. he’s been alienated for so long that people mean nothing to him, but something in him wants to break free--wants it for himself and others.
