4ERin

[skypemas2012]

Dammit it is just Gregorian Blue again and your skeleton lies in the forest forever.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

You continue along the path until you emerge, blinking, into the sun, or at least into whatever serves as a light source for this fragmented reality. You quickly realize that right here it's not the sun at all. Somehow, the soil under your feet gradually turns into some sort of man-made material, and you realize that instead of having a canopy of leaves over your head you have a ceiling.

You have walked straight into the Skype house, and while it may not be Skypemas, you are at least sure from the noises of chaos all around you that your friends will be here.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

You decide to take the path into the forest, because entering a dark cave equipped only with your pajamas seems like a bad idea. You walk along the path for what feels like hours, before you begin to hear music coming from somewhere off the path. Up ahead, however, you can see light that you think means the path is coming to an end. 

Do you:

-go off the path and follow the music?

-continue out of the forest?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You decide to hold your ground, even as the spider cats first crowd around your feet and then begin to climb up your pajama bottoms. They cover your entire body, purring happily the whole time.

It is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to you.

Then they begin to chant, and you cannot decide if this is better or worse. They chant the following:

Spider cats

Spider cats

Do whatever spider cats do

And, gradually, you feel yourself changing. Eventually, you even feel yourself humming along, and then chanting along. But you don't recognize your voice. Then, as the spider cats disperse and you look down at your eight new legs, you understand.

You understand everything.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

You flee from the spider cats. Their purring stops at once as their natural predator instincts kick in. They scream, and then they launch themselves at you, leaping across distances more vast than you have ever seen bugs or cats jump and onto your back.

And then they eat you.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

You decide to go into the cave. For a moment you think that this might have been a very stupid decision, as you do not have a flashlight or even a cellphone with you, and as guns not a good source of light, but the cave turns out to have glowing crystals lining its walls. You can see just fine, even as the cave walls twist and turn.

Then you see them.

Spiders.

Each of their bodies is slightly larger than one of your feet, and then there are their spindly little legs. More remarkable than that, however, are their tails and ears. They each have long, fluffy, familiar-looking tails. It takes you a moment to recognize them as cat tails. Then it's not difficult at all to recognize the ears as cat ears, although it does take you several more moments to recognize the sounds they're making as purrs.

Oh, God, they're purring at you. They're all advancing on you and purring at you and they're getting closer and you can see the light from the crystals gleaming off their little buggy eyes and their tails are swishing back and forth and there must be dozens of the things.

Do you:

-flee?

-hold your ground?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You attempt to steal the gun from the holster at the man's hip. However, he attempts to stop you, and in the ensuing struggle the weapon is discharged. You flinch at the sound of gunfire, squeezing your eyes shut, but when you open them again, the blue hatted man is on the ground, dead, a hole between his eyes.

Congratulations.

You take the gun and set off. There is more to this reality now than there was a few seconds ago, and so you pick a direction at random and simply walk. Eventually, you find yourself standing between the entrance to a cave and a path into a forest.

Do you:

-take the path into the forest?

-go into the cave?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You continue kicking the Green Arrow. Why would you ever want to stop?

Do you:

-continue kicking the Green Arrow?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You continue kicking the Green Arrow. Eventually he passes out.

Do you:

-continue kicking him?

-hat him?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You hat the Green Arrow. He melts into blue goo, although he does not so much as stir when he begins to turn blue. Congratulations. You have successfully killed your first superhero.

You decide that you were always meant for greatness.

You track down every other superhero you have ever heard of and you hat them all. It takes a very long time.

You never make it back to Skypemas, which is probably good because then you would have to explain to Atkid why you killed Batman.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

You refuse to stop, kicking him over and over again even as you continue to yell taunts and insults. Eventually, he stops crying and stops begging you to stop. He just lies there and accepts the abuse. The hood slips from his head.

Do you:

-hat him?

-kick him more?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You kneel down to comfort him. "I'm sorry," you say. "I didn't mean it. I mean, yes, you are clearly mentally unstable, but I am sure you can become better."

He nods and his crying sniffles to a stop. "Will you help me?" he asks.

"Fuck, no," you say. "But I will tell Diggle to find you a therapist."

And you do, and Ollie uses his tremendous wealth to get you back to Skypemas.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

You kick him in his stupid face while he cries. You are unsure what you hope to accomplish by doing this, but you do at least manage to make him cry harder.

"Are you fucking happy now?" you yell. "Are you proud of yourself, you sick son of a bitch? Are you glad you're so good at killing people?"

He cries even harder and begins begging you to stop.

Do you:

-stop and comfort him?

-refuse?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

"I am ERin," you declare. "And I am here because I destroyed time and space."

He does not understand, and you sigh in impatience. "I am trying to get back to Skypemas with my friends," you explain.

He still does not understand, and he shoots you because of it. With an arrow embedded in your chest, you still manage to rip off his hood and hat him before you go.

The End.

[skypemas2012]

"You need to stop murdering people," you tell him sternly, brandishing the hat.

He immediately bursts into tears. "I... I never meant to become this," he says, sinking to his knees in defeat. "I don't even know who I am anymore."

Do you:

-kick him in his stupid face?

-comfort him?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You decide to flee. They do not chase you, because they do not realize that they should until the sailor you hatted melts into goo. You flee across the island until you come across a man with green paint on his face and a hood on his head. You realize that the hood might make it difficult to hat him.

"What are you doing here?" he demands, aiming an arrow at you.

Do you:

-tell him he needs to stop murdering people?

-tell him that you destroyed time and space?

-throw yourself into the time vortex?

[skypemas2012]

You decide to go to the hut place thing. There is a man sitting at the bar, and you place the hat carefully on the bar beside him. He stares at it and then at you.

"You should not put the hat on," you warn him. "It turns whoever wears it into goo."

He nods understandingly.

Together, you unite and save the world.

The End.