I graduated high school in 2011 when I was 17. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Every time someone asked me, I made something up just to make it seem like I had a plan.
I was ""supposed to"" graduate college in May of 2015. I remember seeing all of the statuses and pictures of graduation, moving on, big girl/boy jobs, people having their own apartments in brand new cities... I still didn't even want to go to school.
At the end of August, I started at Mass Bay. I hated it because of the stigma it had. I had a massive panic attack on my very first day, and ended up only taking two classes that semester - one of which was online.
I was afraid that college would be just like high school, or just like middle school, or just like elementary school. I thought that everything I've been through in the past, that I so desperately wanted to run away from, would just continue. The fear of not having many/any friends, and the fear of people hating me and making fun of me for no reason was lingering for the four years leading up to me starting college.
Going into my second semester, I started really thinking about what I wanted to do with my life and what I wanted to eventually major in. I was 22 at this point. I was 15/16 when I was first told to start thinking about what I wanted to major in. I genuinely have no idea how anyone is able to decide at that young of an age what they want to do for the rest of their lives, and I applaud everyone who was able to figure it out so young... but it took me until I was 22, and even now, I have a few different ideas of what I want to do.
Tomorrow, I move in to my dorm at Hofstra. If you had told me, at any point in high school, that I would not only get into, but enroll at Hofstra, I would have never believed you. I'm going into my second semester as a sophomore, and I'm going to be 24 in November. I keep on thinking about the age difference between me and everyone who had started straight out of high school, but then I remember my journey.
I grew so much between 2011 and now. I found photography, I found music and concerts, I found a passion in the entertainment industry, I found friends who support me. The most important thing that I found was the will to live. I didn't have that for the longest time, but now, I can’t wait for each tomorrow.
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