dialogue prompts from speak: a novel by louisa hall.
i don’t like to remember how much i’ve forgotten.
i want to know the mistakes i’ve made, to sit with them.
there are no known words for the things i’m feeling.
it’s the opposite of waking up from a bad dream.
i guess i’d rather feel something than nothing.
i tried to stay away, but i couldn’t.
i can feel you leaving me.
everything is ending soon, but everyone is lying about it.
i honestly believed you’d come for me, if i could be patient enough.
why make a bad situation worse by calling it names to its face?
all that’s behind us. we’re here now.
i was raised to believe that, like wild dogs, it’s best not to look loss in the face.
i don’t believe there’s any use in refusing to live.
i feel much disordered, irrational, and extreme.
no one could have imagined what would happen.
falling in love would be a distraction.
we were as happy as we were afraid.
thoughts become louder in silence.
it’s hard to shake off a vision, once it’s taken you by the throat.
i just wanted to talk. i can’t sleep. i’m sick of myself.
there are other directions but forward.
i’m not so hopeless as i was, for a while.
we’ve become less human than our most human machines.
dreams have no meaning without the words we use to describe them.
we tend to treat people who have suffered too much awkwardly.
your smile is miraculous.
i feel like some tolstoyan cad.
you’re acting like everyone else.
i feel like a commemorative statue, come back to life.
i would’ve killed to hear your voice.
was it always this way? was i too dumb to notice?
i wondered, but i never asked.
i hear your voice sometimes, urging me to keep going.
not everyone is as fair-minded as you.
i have a purpose. that’s all i really require.
i can’t just pretend to be normal again.
no one else made me laugh the way you did.
know that if you call me, i’ll come.
i was sure you were a particularly vivid figment of my imagination.
my life is such a sad little waste.
if you tell me, i’ll understand. you just have to tell me.
nothing’s the same after it’s been talked about.
you have a remarkable ability to settle a place.
i’m still not sure why i haven’t left.
i’ve kept every one of your letters.
you loved me the best way you knew how.
you’re far too sad for your age.
there’s a real world out there, and it’s worth trying to get back to.
my secrets are my own to keep.
you’re as human as anyone else.
maybe you don’t need me, but i still need you.