[pileofknives]

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[memorycycle]

business men meeting for the first time will sniff eachothers cards

[nflstreet]

If I was in it it would be called breaking good

[nflstreet]

I’d still cook meth but I’d be nice to my wife

[ruinedchildhood]

[naamahdarling]

It appears to be spoof comedy and is absolutely hilarious. This is the first three paragraphs:

[letters-adressedtothefire]

Sorry but the "a woman just died and her family is mourning" speech doesn't really apply for the woman who's responsible for almost half the world's colonisation and the death of millions of people everyday for like 70 years

[ellielol]

INTRODUCING THE NEW QUEEN....

JEB! BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!

[virgomoon-deactivated20240514]

"princess diana and the queen meeting in the-" they're not going to end up in the same place, i fear

[mjalti]

princess Diana should be allowed out of heaven once, to beat Liz's ass and then be able to go back

[jethroq]

[jethroq]

[pointnclick]

If you're a cashier in cashier training always remember if someone's buying toilet paper you should ask them are you going to do some shitting later cuz it'll show your interested and attentive I wrote this post using text to speech on my phone

[glutko]

[sapropel]

Clifford the big red dog has the zoomies event 15 dead 162 injured

[spectrometrie]

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

[spectrometrie]

i didn't need no imaginary friends i had Screaming Joe right here !

[wayneradiotv]

i eat mcdonalds every day as advised by my doctor in order to shorten my 209 year lifespan

[chemsexholmes]

hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy

[suazu]

[mevil]

[headless-horsepossum]

My uncle is autistic so he has sensory sensitivities, and he's largely nonverbal so he can't tell you what those sensitivities Are, so what he does is, if you give him a shirt that is a bad texture, he goes and gets his scissors and he cuts it into tiny little pieces so no one can ever ask him to wear it ever again, and the thing is is that he is so totally right