* multi - muse roleplay blog once written by awkan for survivorsfm .

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
hello vonnie
dirt enthusiast
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NASA
trying on a metaphor
Jules of Nature
cherry valley forever

Kaledo Art
will byers stan first human second
almost home
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

pixel skylines

oozey mess
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
noise dept.
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
occasionally subtle
seen from Türkiye
seen from South Africa

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
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@slavghters
* multi - muse roleplay blog once written by awkan for survivorsfm .
* CLOSED STARTER › @lastchancefm .
the simple idea of what richie’s presence entitled for her made a thrill run down jack’s spine, and maybe that was the reason behind the small hop in her step while she made it to the comms tower, checking the old, golden casio around her right wrist to make sure she was on time for the end of the boy’s shift. cheerfully greeting those she crossed paths with while making her way up the tower, she had to take a moment at the entrance of the communications room to catch her breath. “ how the fuck do you make that every day ? ” jack asked, words strained between gulps of air. she was nimble and agile, daily sparring sessions keeping her in form, but stairs had always been her nightmare, and she was almost completely sure it had more to do with the fact they bored her to death than with them being physically exhausting. she found a chair that moved close to the controls panel before sitting down, quickly sprawling back on it. “ i hope you know this is clear proof of my utter love for you, i wouldn’t put up with one thousand and seventy - four steps for anyone, much less more than once a week. ” despite the arrogance in her tone, the spark in her eyes gave away the jesting essence of her words. then, with a tilt of her head, after swiftly looking around features soaked in tedium, she asked, “ so … are you ready or do you still have more gossip to listen to ? ”
There was a reason she'd moved slowly, but Lucky wasn't pleased by her correct instincts. She retracted her hand with a nod and a swift exhale, one whose resulting cloud of vapor she watched float away into the night. Jack's words were clear enough - she didn't need to look at her, and with tears stinging behind her own eyes she definitely didn't want to. She didn't think it would have mattered this much, and maybe it wouldn't have if she'd done things differently. But here they were, standing in the barnyard with a chasm growing between them. This was what Lucky had hoped for, right? Some space to clear her head, some space to regain control. But this wasn't what she wanted; it was too much space, and any control she thought she had floated away with her breath on the cold night wind.
A surge of bravery brought her eyes to Jack's, swimming. Her cheeks were on fire and there was a lump in her throat so large she could hardly swallow past it. "You were terrified?" Lucky didn't recognize her own voice, tremulous and small. Her hands tingled, restless, and she wrapped herself in her own arms.
Another painful swallow.
"D-Did you see what I did?"
lucky’s eyes were so painfully lovely that the moment they landed on her at last, jack had to look away, gaze falling to her feet, moving with contained desperation to the cows being dragged inside their warm and safe barn to call it a night. fondness crossed the brown of her look for a moment at the sight, but then lucky spoke once more and jack’s vulnerability turned to incredulity to confusion to rage so fast, she felt choked by the speed and wrath of her feelings. she looked at her friend with wide, questioning eyes, and her mouth opened and closed several times, words stuck in her throat, prisoners of the ire she felt like lava clogging her veins. until they weren’t. “ for you, you fucking imbecile ! ” jack finally managed to spit, so full of anger it made her whole body shake. “ i was terrified for you, you brainless, insufferable— ” a strangled sob interrupted her words, eyes looking away, hands curled in fists tight enough to turn her knuckles white. and then she couldn’t hold the tears back anymore, she didn’t want to — in the end, jack behrens had never been truly good at hiding who she was, what she felt. “ i saw you there, luck, when— when it happened, ” she mumbled, a murmur so soft and weak only how quiet the sanctuary’s nights were allowed it to be heard. “ a-and … i saw— i saw the boys carrying you back here, and i wanted— god, i needed to see you so badly, but you— you— ” her teeth clenched in frustration and anger and pain — she didn’t want to feel like this, she didn’t want this despair. “ you didn’t want me, luck … and— and i get, okay ? ” she rushed to say before being interrupted because she understood, she always will, and didn’t want lucky to misinterpret her again. “ i just … i thought i still had your honesty, at least. that you still … cared enough to— to be clear about what you wanted. or about what you didn’t. ” defeat permeated the tone of her last words and her shoulders dropped along with a sniff — she was exhausted and the only thing she wanted was the one she couldn’t have.
" hey, hey, no running ! " she shouts over the background noise of children who fill the daycare, just another typical day of watching over tiny humans who are incredibly accident prone. nyla watches them with excitement even amid her temporary panic, thankful they can have these memories without worrying about what's beyond the campus. her attention is shifted the moment astoria joins them and she gives a big grin followed by a singular clap. " look, we have a visitor ! " some wave, some say hello, and many go back to what they had been doing a moment before. she's immediately interested in the basket, following her new company's movements to gasp at the fruit revealed under the rug. " oh, astoria, thank you ! they look delicious, perfect for me and vivian to hand out at snack time. " nyla notices astoria's wandering gaze and shoves her hands in her pockets. " how are you ? would you like to hang around for snack time ? "
curious, gentle eyes wandered around the place, absorbing the view, the clear effort nyla and her co - worker had put into making the space a lively one bringing joy to her gesture. she observed the kids quietly after a moment, a pang of longing hitting her chest, leaving her breathless for a second. then, nyla’s voice brought her back, mercifully ripping her from her ruminations. a warm smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes spread on her face when her attention landed on the young woman. “ oh, i’m doing great, just wondering how you’re holding up with these tiny rascals, ” the light amusement in her tone gave away the joking nature of her words. next, after pursing her lips to avoid their minute trembling at nyla’s offering, she nodded. “ i’d like that, my love. as long as i’m not intruding or adding to your workload, of course. ” she didn’t think she would, but astoria well knew sometimes it wasn’t about the technicalities or the physical effort, but about the mind. “ tell me, how can i help ? ”
open to: anyone location: armory time: late afternoon
He stood there perplexed as he looked at the weapon in hand. It was a wonder it hadn't exploded in their hands when they had tried to shoot it. "I've never seen something like this before." Tigo confessed, looking up at them with brows furrowed. "There's not one but two stuck bullets. This thing should've blown the second time you tried to shoot and it misfired... you're lucky you're standing here with both your hands, much less your face or your life."
astoria’s eyebrows rose to her hairline, eyes wide in bafflement. she hated guns, but she hated the thought of being unable to protect her people even more. that was the only reason she had accepted the lessons. “ but … how ? ” her question was barely above a whisper, still trying to wrap her mind around what santiago had shared with her. “ i mean, how— how was i handed a gun in such a state ? who was in charge of checking it ? ” she didn’t care as much for herself as she did for others — it could have been someone else , anyone else, and just like santiago had said, it could’ve been much, much worse.
☆゚*·゚Dev adored when he could laugh about foolish things he'd done, especially when other people didn't make him feel ridiculous for those specific things. Knowing people could laugh with him was refreshing and incredibly satisfying. And so, he laughed. "I appreciate the compliment. Only some people can fall gracefully." And again, he couldn't help but laugh. It amused him so much. His gaze drifted down to the banana and pouted. "Unfortunately not without some damage. It's now covered in sand and dirt. Any attempts would be futile." Closing up the banana in the peel, he looked up at her with a bright smile on his face. "Fresh bananas? Oh I don't know if I've ever had a fresh banana. That sounds delightful! I'd appreciate it!" Slowly, he stood up, wiping any dirt off himself.
unavoidable was the smile widening on astoria’s gesture at the rhythmic, lovely laugh emanating from dev — he was such a charming man, so seemingly unburdened by the chaos of this world that bumping into him ( or him falling at your feet, literally ) was always a blessing. however, at his last statement, astoria’s grin wavered narrowly, her frown creasing in a mix of bewilderment and stupefaction. “ what do you mean you’ve never had a fresh banana before ? ” she asked, shock widening her eyes. that couldn’t be possible. “ we’ve had four reapings of banana a year since we managed to understand how to cultivate appropriately, dev, how have you never made it to a fresh batch ? ” regardless of the perplexity that permeated her words, astoria’s inquiry wasn’t distrustful nor sounded in such way … at least, not to her, but just in case, the soft smile she always saved for her people slowly came back to her countenance before voicing her offer, “ well, would you like to change that ? ”
Aurora nodded in agreement, recalling the very years where her readings proved her wrong on the snow arrival. She doubted herself for several days before brushing it off as nature being unpredictable. "I'm glad we've found a way to make it work." She had been more on top of the weather since then, telling everyone when the wind would be more chilling than normal and when it would finally start snowing. Hasen smiles back Astoria, bouncing with joy. "Good! I learned more about soil!" he cheered. Hasen had been reading books on farming and getting more lessons from Reuven. "Yes, we've been good. Salvador's taking good care, Hasen is learning...makes me happy."
the warmth that embraced astoria every time serena and her little one visited her was something she was exhausted of trying to control, therefore, the moment hasen enthusiasm vibrated happily from his voice, she swallowed her fears down, her dread to lose again, and gasped in an exaggerated, humorous manner. “ did you, now ? ” she asked, the comfort in her heart making its way through her gesture in a delicate smile that only grew when serena added her input. “ oh, my darling, you have no idea how glad i am to hear you like this, ” happy, calmer, less concerned. salvador’s rescue was a terrifying thing, one that undoubtedly affected everyone at the sanctuary, but astoria knew nobody, ever, would be more terrified than serena was that night ( nor the ones that came ) . knowing her little brother was getting better by the day filled the farmer manager with joy and relief. “ i’m glad all of you are doing better, i visited salva the other day because … well, i needed to know how he was recovering with my own eyes — it’s amazing, really, i’m very happy for all of you. ” then, she turned to hasen once more, “ and you, sir, will have to tell me all about what you learned later, okay ? but right now, i have a basket full of strawberries waiting for you in the back, why don’t you go and look for them ? ” she offered with a tender tone reserved only for the sanctuary’s children — she needed a moment alone with serena, needed to make sure she was truly doing as okay as she had said, but she knew she wouldn’t if hasen was there to hear her.
* CLOSED STARTER › @lastchancefm .
a stack of paper was tightly clutched in her hands as astoria made her way to the main building. focused on her path, excited for this afternoon's particular lecture, a familiar silhouette a few feet away picked her attention and made an amused smile curve her lips, very gently, barely unnoticeable, but there nonetheless. “ richie, ” the boy’s name was her greeting, voice soft and eyes softer. she didn’t want to scare him, he was strange enough around her to add more to it. “ i was expecting to find you along the way, i’m glad i did. i need to ask something of you. ” never the one to beat around the bush, she spoke plainly, approaching richie with caution, although her movements were as mild and elegant as ever. she’d been trying to locate him for a days now, but oh, if he wasn’t a slippery little thing. “ would you mind walking me to the main building so we can talk ? ” the invitation came with just a slight widening of her smile, something that made her gesture warmer, even if the sadness of her eyes was still there if you paid enough attention.
(c)
@fcurleaves ♡
kissing isn’t enough i need to bite you
closed starter - danny & jack @slavghters
"I’m carrying a lethal weapon. If I want the curly fries, I will have the curly fries." And by lethal weapon, he meant the ornate stick his students made him that afternoon that was bound to snap in two at any second now. But he would not be afraid to use it. Not when there was only one portion of curly fries left, and he was staring Jack down as much as he could despite the fact that he felt a twinge of fear in the back of his head after about ten seconds into the whole stare-off.
jack pressed her lips together in a single line, her efforts to avoid letting go the laugh tickling her tongue clear in the way her left cheek dimpled. she observed the stick danny was carrying and raised her eyebrows. the thing in question was as adorable as danny himself, truly, and it made her heart flutter with fondness, but she had a role to play, hence she took a step forward, invading his personal space without a care in the world. “ dude, i grew up hungry with sixty other kids, you really think you have a chance ? ” posture defiant, jack gave him an arrogant, challenging once over. “ you’re adorable. ” she whispered full of feigned condescendence, brown eyes sparkling with malice.
she leaves the warmth of the bloater, trading it for the slight chill this fall night offered, seeking some quiet, a respite from the animated atmosphere inside the bar. the sight of the woods provides some comfort, initially, but laughter still crashes against her ears even out here, enveloping her, suffocating her. some nights she wished she could have fun like that once more, as if she had no cares in the world, and nothing had ever been lost. so, though the slightly damaging sounds of elation follow her outside, she chooses to remain, for her heart feels a little less heavy and her breathing a little more light. she’s nursing a beer when jack comes out — and jo is preemptively rolling her eyes, knowing exactly what their conversation will be about before the other opens her mouth. ❝ i already told you why. ❞ words are sharp as a knife, cutting through the air in annoyed retaliation. there’s no real animosity behind them, however, only fond irritation, and perhaps a sprinkle of fear. no matter how many supplications, or pouts, or big doe pleading eyes: she’s not giving in. her expression betrays as much, with its unimpressed gaze and raised brows. ❝ i’ll find you some books next time i go out, if you’re so desperate for them. but you’re not coming with me again. ❞ ever, is the word that hangs in the space between them, unsaid. eyes now stray away from her friend and towards the people surrounding them, feigning disinterest. an exhausted sigh leaves her lungs as she takes a swig of her bottle. ❝ do we really need to do this? it is a party, after all. ❞
a childish huff was successfully held in the base of her throat, the need to stomp her foot increasing by the minute, yet jack didn’t give in to it — she knew she wasn’t dealing with her brother here, where a pair of sorrowful eyes and the first glints of a tantrum were enough to bend him. she knew jo will only give her a roll of her eyes or a heavy, tired gaze that will show how fucking done she was with her. she tried anyway. “ but jo— ” the scavenger’s name was dragged in a whine, jack’s eyebrows furrowed in a pleading gesture. jo’s answer came out so blunt and resolute it made her unexpectedly sad, and her lower lip jutted out against her will. “ why are you— ” making such a big deal about it, was left hanging from the corner of her lips when jo’s question interrupted her, and despite her first instinct to reply with a stubborn ‘ yes ’, she stopped, the huff she’d been holding eventually leaving her in a slow, tremulous exhale. “ i’m sorry, ” discouraged, jack flopped down on the bench and ripped the beer from jo’s hands, giving it a swift sip before returning it as if she hadn’t done a thing. “ i just— ” a sigh, exasperated and loud, interrupted her new attempt. she didn’t want to, not really, she didn’t want to be a bother, but she also had this nagging need to understand. “ i … don’t get why you— jo, that thing wasn’t even close to biting me— ” a blatant lie, of course. “ —and we made it, a-and— and it happened ages ago ! ” frustration oozed from her at that moment, permeating her words, her desire to comprehend alight and fiery, but unable to wrap her mind around what was running through josephine’s. “ you can’t care enough about me to be this mad, ” she finally deflated, an out of character self - deprecating chuckle following the soft, barely audible voice in which she mumbled her words. “ so if you don’t want me to come just because i annoy you, you can be honest, it won’t hurt me. ” scarcely something did these days, she’d been abandoned enough times to know people comes and goes, enough times to know nothing and no one will ever be there for good.
She felt Jack's gaze and resisted the urge to recoil from it. It was like being in the path of a searchlight, a fugitive finally found. The scrutiny that came with Jack's attention in that moment was almost too much to bear, and Lucky wrapped her fingers around the fence so as to force herself to stay put. She sighed again - it did little to ease the tension in her body, but it was all she could do as she scrambled for a better response.
No.
That was the cold, hard truth. Lucky was known for speaking her mind, but when it really mattered she wasn't so sure. A coward. She sniffed against the chill of the evening and shook her head. "No." She rubbed the side of her nose with a gloved hand. "But I didn't want you to 'fuck off,' I just..."
She trailed off. Just what? Just hated being seen when she didn't have a handle on herself? Just didn't want to feel pathetic and small in front of people who'd seen more loss than she could even begin to comprehend? Her jaw tightened.
"I just wanted to be alone and I should've said so." It wasn't a lie. "Sorry."
Lucky glanced at Jack then, finally, and her stomach twisted at the tears she saw shining at the edges of her eyes. "Jack..." she said, her voice a strange combination of a groan and a whisper as she reached out to touch her elbow, slow and gentle.
patience has never been jack behrens’ strength, yet as lucky pondered her questions, those fired full of her wounds’ venom, she felt full of it, breath held inside her lungs until they ached, until the air hitched in her throat at the opposing answer. she exhaled quietly, slowly, and her eyes drifted away for a moment, taking a respite from the sight that made her heart pound like the gallop of a rampant horse one second and skip a beat the next. when her gaze went back to lucky, it traced her profile inch by inch, taking her in, feeling her chest tighten at the notion of how much she had missed her. and if the minute apology stumbling for lucky’s lips didn’t hit her like a train, her name spoken in that sinful tone certainly did. “ don’t— ” she snapped, taking a step away from her, feeling the spot where lucky had touched her burn. “ don’t you dare— don’t— no. no, you … don’t have the right to touch me, ” even if i’m dying for you to do it, jack left unsaid, her dignity unscathed until the tears clinging to the corner of her eyes finally fell down her cheeks. she briskly wipped them away with the back of her hand, angry at herself, at how weak she felt. “ i just— god. fuck. i’m so mad at you right now and— and at the same time it’s just— it’s so fucking hard to hate you, i— ” jack trailed off, frustrated at the way she sensed her resolve faltering just by looking at lucky, just by remembering how her touch felt, how it always consumed her. the whisper that followed the small pause she made to collect herself was filled with raw honesty, “ i was fucking terrified, luck … ” eyes downcast, jack turned around, slumping against the fence, sudden exhaustion seeping through her bones. “ i still am, and … i— i don’t know how to come back from it. ” the admission fell heavy between them and jack lifted her head, her brown orbs pleading for something she couldn’t name when they found lucky’s.
closed for @slavghters
grey clouds loom over them, seemingly sucking out any light left in the sanctuary. the mood seems to have shifted for the worse in the sanctuary, maybe it was the change of weather or the aftermath of the recent expedition. either way, anu was beginning to feel the effects of it. every lead in her research came to a dead end and her odds were looking less favourable with every day that passes. that bright spark slowly dwindling to a crackle of an ember. she's talking to her flowers, telling them about her day and things she can't say to others for she's supposed to be the one that has it together, the one that's supposed to be optimistic about all of this. as she's in mid-sentence, a flash of golden yellow catches the corner of her eye. a sunflower growing against all odds and that felt like a sign to her. she dusts off the light layer of frost on the flower, inspecting the petals and collects some more. maybe they could help her to brighten the mood around the place a bit. "a flower for your thought?" anu smiles at astoria as passes, holding out the sunflower for her.
her pace carries her back from the last lecture of the day, mind wandering far away from the place her body is occupying, and perhaps that’s the reason she startles the moment anu’s voice rings in her ears. at the sight of the bright, unexpected flower, though, her surprised expression turns into a tender smile, one that, as very rarely happens, reaches her dark eyes. “ oh, anu, ” she murmurs, so softly it tickles the corners of her lips. the moment her brain processes the question, however, makes the gesture tremble. “ oh, i— i was just … uhm, thinking about my to do list for the farm tomorrow, ” the lie comes easy as she takes the offered flower, so used to answer something else every time she’s caught thinking about her, about them, it seems to work on auto - pilot by now. “ there’s a lot to do since the snow hasn’t given us a single break, you know, ” a soft caress to the sunflower’s petals accompanies her small pause. then, she prompts, “ where did you find this, by the way ? here ? ” awe permeates her tone with clarity as she ponders … maybe risking oneself here in the cold has its perks, she supposes.
very often, jun found it difficult to concentrate, but without the pressure of too many prying eyes, he could stay dedicated to a task (or in most cases — doing nothing) for hours on end. as per usual, the white noise of the tower had lulled him into what he would call a 'stasis.' the listening was more engaging than any other bodily function. much like a teen at their computer, jun was hooked. the radio operator’s face contorted into a lopsided grin when he realized who had intruded on his self-proclaimed ivory tower — ms. astoria ! the freshman sat up in attention, feeling disrespectful in his sloppy state. his hands fumbled into his hoodie's pockets in an awful attempt to look nonchalant. “ good evening, ” he mumbled, not at all with the enthusiasm he'd intended. he blinked a few times, the kind words settling into his brain. tea? that definitely beat the stomach churning coffee that his fellow operator insisted on. “ thanks so much — ” he nodded. though incorrect, the sentiment was appreciated too much for Jun to speak up. he glanced between the placed offerings, unsure if he should indulge himself so soon. ah, but, the tea would get cold when he forgot, as always. he shook his head at her and then added a cheeky addendum: “ i never do, especially when you bribe me with food ! ”
a soft, endearing chuckle vibrated from astoria at jun’s reply. he was such a sweet, genuine boy, and she didn’t like to bother him too often, yet her worry was a tough opponent and she couldn’t avoid losing the battle against it … sometimes. “ thank you, i appreciate your disposition, ” her formal words were laced with amusement and grace, evidencing her solemnity wasn’t serious, not really. astoria took off her coat andsat down, her left leg crossing smoothly over the right one, hands readjusting the skirts of her dress to cover herself appropriately. she observed jun a second, then her eyes drifted to their surroundings — she loved how quite this place was, how calm she felt in its tranquility, and how little she had to say when in jun’s company. their silence were never awkward, at least not to her, and maybe that was the reason she usually didn’t care about losing the battle against her concern. regardless, she spoke once more, “ have you hear something … interesting today ? ” despite the prohibition to communicate back the community had set to keep them safe, she knew fun, enthralling, and sometimes unhinged things came through the radio, and the anecdotes they turned into was always a favorite thing to hear for astoria.
simone kessell as sasha clarke in wonderland (2013-2015) - 2x09
it’s both comforting and heartbreaking that over time you will slowly forget the little details of someone you once loved so deeply until their memory is just a hazy blur like a dream you once had and can’t quite remember anymore